secret of the dragon emperor ... part 31!

last time sir quackenscrump got some scoop on a secret back way into the dungeon we're going to! but will he remember what he heard while drunk off his tailfeathers on troll booze? let's find out!

GM Elle: I don't hear anybody bragging about their new Heroic Abilities -- are you all in a dry spell with your experience rolls?
Harriet: I'm finding it uncanny to the extreme that we cumulatively rolled 5 or 6 numbers over 17, but in every case they landed on skills that weren't high enough to nudge us to 18.
MSG: I'm going to propose that at the end of this session, we mark all our experience marks and then go around the table rolling only for marked skills that are 17.
Ariel: Will that make it more likely for us to roll over 17? I mean, in math land?
MSG: No. It will just make me feel like it ought to be more likely.
Claire: Well, whatever makes you feel good, msg.
Sasha: Fine by me.
GM Elle: Okay, well, last time you wasted the whole morning searching for Quackenscrump and Glinssa --
Akane: Only half wasted, since we found them and one of two is not an untrustable cultist.
GM Elle: So now it's time to roll for the first shift of travel for the day. Is Filvius still navigating?
Claire: Yes, but I'll let Dolora help so I can get a Boon, since we're so late starting out. Definitely a success.
Heddy: As we travel during the day, if I notice Sir Q looking Exhausted and Sickly, I'll spend Willpower on my Raise Spirits ability to tell him jokes or stories to remove those Conditions. I'll make all the punch lines about someone killing a monster.
GM Elle: Sure. Both of you mark it.
Sasha: I quack-laugh at every joke. Thanks, Brandy, you're hilarious.
GM Elle: Filvius and Dolora estimate you'll be at the cave after one more shift of travel. Want to push on to get there tonight?
MSG: And go into a cave full of giant spiders at night without a good rest? No thanks.
Claire: By the way, has Quackers told us about the back door orcs?
Sasha: He doesn't put it that way because that sounds kind of nasty. But he does say Drov told him about an old keep with orcs in it that leads into, and you guys brought that stupid wolf-nebula orc banner, right? So maybe we can impress them with that.
MSG: It's not actually a wolf-nebula banner, but I don't correct Sir Q because I'm keeping it secret that I know how wrong Filvius's information on the banner was.
Claire: Well, since I don't know I'm wrong, I'll say the orcs probably won't care too much about it if there's no wolf-head nebula in the sky, since that's when it's supposed to work.
MSG: The orcs might still think it's valuable or at least interesting. We could probably trade it to them for information about the caves or safe passage in through their fort.
Ariel: Fidu perks up when you talk about trading. Maybe we could get even more out of them than just information or getting let into the caves!
Sasha: Yeah, like some alcohol that won't knock me on my ass like this troll brew Drove gave me. Which, by the way, I'll take out when we make camp and offer around to everyone.
Heddy: Since we're drinking buddies now, I'll take the jug, but once I open it and smell it, I'm probably too faint-hearted to give it a try.
GM Elle: Glinssa says she will definitely pass. She's seen what the stuff does.
MSG: Sigh. It's a mistake, but Dolora can't pass up the knowledge of what troll booze is like.
Claire: Filvius either. But are you offering us this while we're setting up camp, or after we're done?
Sasha: Probably while. I don't have anything better to do when the tent's being put up.
MSG: Great. I'm sure we're in a race to be the first one to know, too. Do we draw initiative?
GM Elle: Yes, but you're drawing initiative to see who's setting up the tent and who's just helping. Then you'll draw again and the helper will get to draw two cards and take the better one, since they'll 
MSG: That's complicated enough. 5 for me setting up the tent.
Claire: 7 for me, so I'm helping. My two booze initiative cards are ... blah. 8 and 10. Maybe you'll get the 9 ...
MSG: 4. I'm taking an experimental swig, not a huge one.
GM Elle: Make a Con check with a Boon.
MSG: I make it, but I'm glad I had the Boon. I'll pass the jug to Filvius and say, "It's definitely palatable in small measures."
Claire: Damn you. That means I have to take a full glug in order to know something you don't. In for a penny in for a pound, then. I'll take a really big drink.
GM Elle: Con check with a Bane, then.
Claire: Hah! 7 and 10.
GM Elle: Dolora gets a Bane on her Bushcraft to set up the tent, then.
Claire: Even with my help?
GM Elle: The Con check was to keep from passing out immediately. Even with a success, you're too drunk to be any real help.
MSG: I make my roll even with the Bane. Then I crawl into the tent and go right to sleep.
Claire: Same.
Ariel: Fidu goes to bed without trying the troll stuff.
Akane: Zedeja resists also. She pauses at the tent door, though. "No drinking with trolls if any more arrive! Or with orcs or giants ... or even with humans. In fact, no drinking at all when on watch!"
Harriet: That shouldn't be a problem, given that all we have to drink is borderline poisonous troll whiskey.
GM Elle: So I take it Dilfriida and Brandywise are out of the drinking crew for tonight. Is Quackers going to indulge?
Sasha: I think he'll take a break from it tonight.
GM Elle: Let's see if the encounter die has anything for us this shift, then. Hmm ... everyone on watch make an Awareness check. Glinssa fails hers.
Sasha: Got it.
Harriet: Not I, unfortunately.
Heddy: Mine succeeds.
GM Elle: Through the trees in the distance, you think you notice some lights moving. They go east to west for a bit and then stop.
Sasha: Can I tell how far off they are?
GM Elle: You're well into the Iron Woods at this point, following the area on the map that looks more lightly forested than the rest. In the dense parts, you probably wouldn't be able to see torches or lamps much farther than a couple of football fields away. Even here, you figure the lights are probably within a quarter mile.
Sasha: Well ... our campfire is probably bigger than whatever they're carrying, so I'm going to guess they can see it better than we can see them.
Heddy: That idea makes me very nervous. Are we going to wake everybody up?
Sasha: And have Zedeja bite our heads off? I'm gonna vote no on that.
Harriet: I could sneak over there and scout it out to see what might be going on.
Heddy: That makes me nervous too. What if it's a band of orcs and they spot you? 
Harriet: I'll run and hide.
Heddy: Will you even be able to find your way over there in the dark without tripping on roots or rocks?
GM Elle: Dragonbane is a lot less specific about dim lighting conditions than D&D. They basically have rules for complete darkness and that's it. I'd probably give you a Bane for certain actions in the woods at night, but I think the intent is that you can walk around at night just like in the real world.
Harriet: I'll say I think I can do a good job sneaking up and spying on whoever it is. Can Glinssa sneak? She could be my backup.
GM Elle: She has some Sneaking skill, but she says she's not the greatest at it.
Harriet: Perhaps she could go most of the way with me, and then hold back just outside of easy earshot while I cover the last part stealthily.
GM Elle: She looks like she's thinking about it.
Sasha: I give her the thumbs up for encouragement. Can I use that to try Persuasion?
GM Elle: Sure.
Sasha: Made it.
GM Elle: She girds herself then, and says she'll to it.
Harriet: Exceptional. I'll tell Brandy I'll be back before she knows it.
Heddy: I'll reply that they should be very careful.
GM Elle: Moving through the dark of the woods, you get closer and closer to the stationary lights, which begin to look more and more like torches. Then you begin to hear voices speaking in rhythmic patterns though you can't make out what they're saying.
Harriet: If we're close enough to hear them, this might be where Glinssa should stop. I Sneak on ahead with a 9.
GM Elle: You close in on a clearing. There are three black-robed figures there -- each holding a torch as they move in a circle and chant. Make a Languages roll.
Harriet: Not even remotely close.
GM Elle: You can't make out the details, then. But something about the tone feels ominous to you.
Harriet: I'm going to peer as best I can and look for cult tattoos.
GM Elle: That's Spot Hidden.
Harriet: 11 succeeds.
GM Elle: You definitely see that one of them has part of a familiar tattoo showing where the sleeve of his robe has fallen back from the upheld torch in that hand.
Harriet: Could I have the rulebook briefly to read up on Sneak Attacks?
Heddy: By yourself? I'm glad Brandywise doesn't know about this.
GM Elle: Here you go.
Harriet: Hmm. Mm ... here's my plan, then. First, I'm making sure all 3 of my daggers are At Hand. Then I'll sneak up to dagger-throwing range, which is 11 meters for me. If I make it I get to choose my Initiative card, and I qualify for a Sneak Attack and I'll do an extra die of damage with my dagger because it's a subtle weapon, on top of my Backstabbing and Assassin abilities. Hopefully that will be enough to kill my first target outright.
Heddy: Backstabbing and Assassin abilities? Oh my, Brandy really doesn't know how dangerous a person she's getting into, does she?
GM Elle: Make your Sneaking roll, then.
Harriet: I do. I'll pick the 10 card, since they don't know I'm here. That way it will be a new round after my turn and hopefully I'll beat them.
GM Elle: All right, take your shot.
Harriet: With a Boon ... I succeed. 6 WP for my special abilities gives me 4d8 for my weapon and 1d6 for my Agility ... 27. That may have been overkill. In any case, I draw another dagger to be ready for my next turn.
Heddy: I certainly hope so, because if they have more hit points than that, you're in trouble.
GM Elle: The cultist instantly drops dead. Draw for Initiative.
Harriet: 4.
GM Elle: Sorry, but they get the 3. Both draw their daggers and rush you. The first one rolls a 14, just what he needs.
Harriet: I'll use my Fast Footwork ability to dodge without losing my turn. That's a success.
GM Elle: Second attack ... ooh, Demon. You get a free attack on him.
Harriet: Nice. I hit with a 17, doing 6 points of damage ... and there's a sleeping poison on this one, potency 12. I roll a 12 for the poison.
GM Elle: He rolls an 8, so he shakes it off. Your turn.
Harriet: I draw my other poisoned dagger and stab this fellow with my newly un-poisoned one. That's a hit for 8 points.
GM Elle: Dead. New Initiative.
Harriet: Ah, the 1 this time. I'm stabbing the last cultist with my poisoned dagger. A hit, for 8 points, and the poison roll is 5.
GM Elle: Unfortunately for you, the cultist rolls a Dragon. I'm going to say that means he's got some natural immunity to this poison, so he won't have to roll again if you have any more.
Harriet: I do not, so his immunity doesn't concern me.
GM Elle: He strikes at you with his dagger and misses. New initiative. The cultist is on 1.
Harriet: 6.
GM Elle: He yells, "In the name of Sathmog! Die!" But his roll is a 19.
Harriet: My attack is 19 too ... which I'll say makes me fearful that he's somehow cursed me, and I'll Push my roll by becoming Scared. A hit for 4 points.
GM Elle: He gasps a plea to join Sathmog in the afterlife and falls dead.
Harriet: Whew! I retrieve my dagger and search their bodies. 
GM Elle: You find one treasure card worth of loot. Goodness, you hit the jackpot -- 120 silver pieces. They also have backpacks with rations and sleeping pelts, plus flint and tinder and a half dozen torches.
Harriet: I leave 10 silver pieces on the bodies and whistle up Glinssa to help me with their gear.
GM Elle: She goes a bit pale at seeing three of her former co-religionists so easily dead at your hands and says she's glad she switched sides.
Harriet: I'll suggest she check their pockets and unless she finds something special, she can have whatever is on them, since Zedeja is so miserly about her pay.
GM Elle: She's very appreciative of that and lets you know she found the 10 silver. She wants to make sure that doesn't count as anything special.
Harriet: I tell her it's all hers. Then I guess we can head back to camp.
Heddy: Brandy jumps up in relief when she sees you return.
Sasha: Quackers says, "Hey, what's with the bags?"
Harriet: I'll tell them we discovered some cultists who seemed up to no good, and they decided to fight instead of running, so we took care of them. "Here's their stuff if you want to look through it before we dump it in the cart."
Sasha: Quackers assumes Dilfriida already got whatever good stuff was there, which is fine by him since she did the work.
GM Elle: Time for second watch, then.
Sasha: I tell the new shift there were cultists sneaking around but Dilfriida and Glinssa took care of them. "Keep your eyes peeled in case there are more, though."
Akane: Do not order the peeling of eyes! This is Zedeja's authority. After this assertiveness, I command a dwarf and elf to peel their eyes.
GM Elle: It doesn't look like you need to, because the rest of the night goes uneventfully. Last shift of travel to reach Oracle Cave.
Claire: Assuming we don't Demon the navigation check. Nope, I succeed.
GM Elle: Since you know roughly where to look for the ancient keep, you don't have any difficulty spotting it. It's built well up the hillside, and commands a deliberately broad view of the forest. Sneaking up unobserved would be extremely difficult, you think.
MSG: So the question is whether we head up there and see how things pan out with the orcs, or just go in the front way and take our chances. If the orcs see us coming, they could pepper us with arrows from that keep, no problem.
Claire: That's why Filvius suggests we carry the banner boldly at the front of our marching order. If nothing else, they won't want to damage a legendary orc artifact by shooting it full of arrow holes.
Heddy: If Brandywise has been allowed to examine the map in any detail, she'll say she much prefers the orc entrance to the main entrance on the map, which has been drawn with a horrifically large spider coming out of it. I know embellishments like that aren't drawn in proportion, but I can't help comparing it to the map's scale, which makes it look at least a kilometer long.
Sasha: Do you say that out loud? Because Quackers is definitely going to have his blood pumping at a chance to see a kilometer-long monster spider and figure out a way to kill it.
Heddy: Since we have these two knowledge-devouring people in our party, I think I'd be fearful of getting mocked if I said anything about it looking a kilometer long. That's obviously not accurate.
Sasha: Rats. In that case I guess it's fine if we try talking with the orcs.
GM Elle: Are you going to try to have the donkeys haul the cart up to the keep?
MSG: How steep is the way up?
Claire: More importantly, do we want to reveal our loot cart to the orcs and then leave it outside while we go into the cave?
GM Elle: Glinssa thinks that sounds like a terrible idea but is also nervous about being left on her own a significant distance from the party's explorations. The way up to the keep looks steep and is pretty heavily forested at its lower reaches. You'd expect it to be quite a chore to get the cart up there.
MSG: Well that's kind of a pickle.
Claire: Could we use Bushcraft to scout around for a nice secluded clearing nearby that might put Glinssa more at ease?
Akane: This cultist's employment is watching donkeys and a cart. Employment and "ease" have opposite meaning. Why perform extra work to make our worker's work have more ease?
GM Elle: You can roll Bushcraft if you like, but it will take a shift unless you Dragon the roll. You could try to do it more quickly, but you'll have a Bane.
MSG: I'll help so that the Bane is counteracted. But before we go looking I'll tell Zedeja that leaving the cart out in the open is just begging for someone to come along and steal it.
Claire: My roll succeeds pretty easily.
GM Elle: All right, within a stretch, you luck across a natural nook at the base of a hill where rocky outcroppings will hide the cart from either side.
MSG: Then once we get Glinssa and the donkeys settled in, we'll head up to the keep with someone carrying the banner.
Claire: I can do it. But I'll have to drop it to use my staff if it comes to combat.
Sasha: We mostly just need you to heal anyway.
GM Elle: So. Once you get Glinssa and the donkeys tucked away out of sight, you make your way through the thick woods at the base of the hill that the keep is attached to. The slope gets steeper and steeper, until finally you come out in the open space overlooked by the ancient fortress. Around a hundred meters of inclined ground separate you from the stone walls. Almost immediately, you see a figure behind the parapet above point at you and give a cry of alarm. Others quickly join the figure.
Claire: I'm going to raise the banner as high as I can and give it a bit of a side-to-side wave.
Harriet: Wait, though ... should Filvius really be the one carrying that? Don't orcs and elves notoriously dislike one another?
GM Elle: You can make a Myths and Legends roll.
Harriet: Actually, I can't. A 10 is double my skill of 5.
GM Elle: On an out-of-game level, then, I'll just say there's nothing in this campaign or the main rulebook that suggests an unusual degree of hostility between orcs and elves. Orcs don't get along especially well with any of the daylight kin, but elves aren't any more of a problem than dwarves or humans.
MSG: Can we tell if they recognize the banner?
GM Elle: There's some more pointing and gesturing. It looks as though some of the figures now have bows at the ready. But after a minute or so, you see a lone orc coming out of the bottom of a stair on the keep's eastern side.

MSG: I'll give a wave of greeting.
Claire: I don't have a free hand to wave, but I'll start heading up the slope to meet the orc halfway.
Akane: Zedeja says, "Wait! This is unauthorized! Consult your superior first, junior mage!"
Harriet: Dilfriida will step up next to the elf and say, "Zedeja saying not to go is a good enough reason for me to head up with you, Filvius."
Claire: I'll keep walking, then.
Akane: Impertinent halfling.
Heddy: I'm terrified of the orcs, but seeing two of the weaker party members venturing forward, and one of them being Dilfriida, I'll tag along ... fretfully.
GM Elle: Anyone else?
MSG: Dolora won't want to be left out of knowing what's going on, so she'll go too.
Ariel: I'm resting from already hiking so far up the hill.
Sasha: Quackers will hang back.
Akane: Zedeja knows only a small amount about orcs, but she thinks they are warlike. Seeing elves and halflings defying the leader of a group probably means, no respect from orcs. There could be danger to have disrespect of warlike orcs. I remain with our duck knight.
GM Elle: The orc is going downhill, so he's making better speed than you are unless you want to make Agility checks to go faster.
MSG: I'd rather not risk Demoning a roll like that and tumbling all the way downhill to smack into one of the trees.
Claire: It might also appear aggressive. Filvius is for sticking to a normal speed.
GM Elle: In that case, when the orc has covered about half the original distance, he stops and waits for you.
MSG: So, 50 meters from the keep, which according to the rulebook ... is within range of a heavy crossbow and long range for a short bow.
Claire: That's a very pessimistic way to look at someone literally meeting us halfway.
MSG: Maybe Dolora is in one of her dour moods.
GM Elle: As you get closer, within 15 yards of him, he raises a hand and speaks in heavily accented Common. "Why are strangers carrying this orc banner? What business brings you?"
Claire: Filvius says that we found the banner in the basement of an ancient tower in the Haunted Marshes, and determined that it holds the power of the Wolf's Head Nebula.
MSG: Dolora says, "Actually, he's the only one who believes that. The rest of us just know that an orc ghost called it the Banner of Takrûk and said it brings power to an orc leader in battle."
Claire: Filvius gives Dolora a narrow-eyed look. "So you think I'm wrong about the Wolf's Head Nebula?"
MSG: Basically, yeah.
Claire: Well, you could have said something before!
GM Elle: The orc interrupts you. He has an expression of cautious surprise on his face. "The Banner of Takrûk? That clan I have heard of. But this banner -- it is clean and new!"
MSG: We're thinking it might be magical or have some kind of blessing on it.
Claire: D'oh. I never used my Sense Magic trick on it, did I? Wait a minute. I ask Dolora why she didn't have me Sense Magic on it if she thought it was magical.
MSG: And have you learn something about it I didn't know?
GM Elle: The orc says, "Strangers! A banner like this could be important to us. I must ask our patrol's leader, Agra, about it. Speak of your business to me. I will take both pieces of news to Agra for her to ponder."
MSG: I say we've come to explore the cave in search of treasure.
GM Elle: The orc grunts and nods and turns to head back up to the keep.
Heddy: As soon as he's a good distance away, Brandywise will ask if we should retreat back out of arrow range just in case.
MSG: I think if they have longbows, we'd have to go all the way back to the trees and hide.
Claire: Filvius says of course that's the case if they have longbows.
MSG: Does Filvius know that much about bows? Or do you need to roll a bluff?
Claire: I could ask you the same question! But ... my Bows skill is only a 7.
MSG: Mine's 14. What's the GM's ruling on knowing about bows?
GM Elle: Hm. It seems like the weapon skill would be the main way you'd gain that knowledge. But it also feels off to let you roll an Agility skill to know something. Let's say ... make an Intelligence check to know what longbow range is, but you can have a Boon if you make a Bows check first.
MSG: Sweet ... no, spoke too soon, I roll a 19 on my Bows check. Int check is a Dragon though!
Claire: Well, I get a Dragon on my Bows check and two successes on my Int check.
GM Elle: Dragons all over the place. Okay, I'll say both of you surveyed the lay of the land so well against your knowledge of archery that if it comes to either firing or evading a bow shot in this situation, you'll get a Boon on your first roll.
MSG: I guess that's a benefit -- but I hope we don't end up needing to use it.
Claire: I say bring it on! Filvius will always take the chance to show off his knowledge.
Heddy: Brandy meekly suggests that maybe we should not bring it on.
GM Elle: While you're discussing it, the orc makes it back to the keep. He appears to be making very good time, as though he's motivated to be quick.
Ariel: Ooh, maybe that means the banner will really help us make a deal with them!
Sasha: Or maybe he just can't wait to give their bow-orcs the all clear to start firing.
GM Elle: You see that he's calling up to the orcs on the ramparts, then seems to enter a conversation with them.
Akane: There must be shouting to discuss arrowing two know-it-all adventurers from the top of a keep to the bottom. Can we hear?
GM Elle: Everyone who went up to meet the orc can roll Awareness. Everyone at the tree line can roll with a Bane.
MSG: 2.
Claire: 17 fails.
Ariel: Same for me. Foo.
Sasha: A 2 and an 8 for Quackers, so he makes it.
Akane: Zedeja succeeds also, thanks to being so greatly Aware.
Harriet: Dilfriida just misses it.
Heddy: Brandywise just makes it.
GM Elle: All right, everyone who succeeded now needs to roll Languages, because they're speaking orcish.
MSG: Dragon! We're on fire with those tonight.
Sasha: Whoa! Look at this!
Akane: Another Dragon?
Sasha: No, a 2. But my skill's only 4, so I was sure I wouldn't make it.
Akane: My roll is 17, but Zedeja is so startled that a duck might understand while she does not, it makes her Dazed. After Pushing this way, I succeed with 11.
Heddy: I succeed as well.
GM Elle: The messenger is telling the orcs up top that you have the banner of Takrûk, and someone with an authoritative voice answers that "Maladûk will be angry if we can't acquire it for her. What do they want?" He tells her that all you mentioned was exploring the cave for treasure, and in response she orders him to bring you up for her to speak directly to you. He nods and turns your way.
Sasha: Quackers says, "Well, sounds like it's time for us to head uphill, then."
Akane: Zedeja is slow in responding. Still, she is dazed that her ears almost missed what this knight heard.
Sasha: Oh ... uh-oh, I just remembered my great helm gives me an Awareness Bane, which means I should have rolled three dice, not just two. Should I roll the third one now?
GM Elle: No, I hate to back all of that up. Why don't you just say you used your ill-tempered ability to get a Boon on the roll because you were annoyed at things taking so long? That will cancel the Bane from your helmet.
Sasha: Sure. Now I'm down 3 WP and have a Condition, but I guess that's what I get for not remembering that Bane. Anyway, I'll start marching up the hillside.
Ariel: Wait, I was resting and not paying attention I guess. Why are we going up? Dolora and Filvius didn't call us, did they?
Sasha: No, but those orcs are talking about our banner and about making deals, I think, so we need your bargaining skills, Fi-fi.
Akane: Zedeja speaks after a delay. "Yes, hound! It is time to go."
Ariel: All right, if we have to.
GM Elle: As before, the orc will make better time than the characters hiking up from the forested part of the hill to the meeting point, unless you hurry.
Ariel: No way am I hurrying and getting all out of breath when I might need to do some Bartering soon.
Sasha: Are there monsters anywhere in sight? Quackenscrump doesn't care about hurrying if there aren't monsters to kill.
Akane: Still so dazed by a knowledgeable duck. No hurrying for Zedeja.
GM Elle: This time, the orc comes all the way to where the banner is.
MSG: Whew, that's a relief.
Ariel: Why?
Harriet: My assumption as a player is that it indicates the messenger isn't concerned about leaving his comrades a clear line of fire this time. Dilfriida doesn't put that together, though.
GM Elle: Once he arrives, he tells you that Agra wants to talk to you about the banner and about the caves.
MSG: I'll ask him to lead the way, but after the rest of the group catches up.
GM Elle: He waits for Zedeja, Fidu, and Quackenscrump, then heads up to the keep. As you near the fortifications, you see several other orcs descending the stairway. In the lead is a big, well-muscled female orc whose skin shows the scars of many battles. She meets you at the bottom of the stairs and crosses her arms as she sizes you up. "I am Agra," she says. "Varkorr says you intend to explore the caves. Normally, we would warn you away from our encampment in these ruins and tell you to enter the cavemouth to the west. But you carry an orcish banner that interests me. Let us have it and I will grant passage through our keep to the caverns."
MSG: I tell Fidu he's up.
Ariel: I'll say that's a generous offer ... I mean we'd like the banner to be back with its rightful owners. But what if we also agree to trade information too? They could tell us what they know about the caves, and when we come back out, we can let them know if we found out anything else.
GM Elle: She seems agreeable to that. But then she also says, "There is another object we have interest in -- a small statue of black stone. If you find such a thing, or any pieces of it, let us examine it and we may trade you for it if it is the one we desire.
MSG: Uh-oh.
Ariel: Yikes! Um ... I'll ask the group, "Wasn't there somebody in town offering money for pieces of a statue?"
MSG: I'll say, "Yeah, but why drag something all the way back to town if our friends the orcs offer a good price too? In fact, why don't we just say we'll show them everything we find in the cave that we don't want to keep for ourselves, and they can bid on anything that interests them?"
Claire: Ooh, nice save.
Ariel: I'm not sure I get it, but I guess I'll -- ooh, wait, you mean we do want the statue pieces for ourselves so we wouldn't have to show them to the orcs! That's so smooth! Fidu asks this Agra lady if that sounds good to her.
GM Elle: Go ahead and roll your Bartering to see if you can make that sound as innocent as you want it to.
Ariel: Easy-peasy 13.
GM Elle: Agra agrees to your deal. She says she wishes she had more to tell you, but the scouts they've sent into the caves have not returned. The entrance to the caves at the back of the keep leads to a long stairway down into the darkness, and that's all she and her crew know.
MSG: I'll ask how many scouts they've sent in ... if she doesn't mind saying.
GM Elle: She says one orc went down day before yesterday, an experienced caver and tracker. Then another two were sent last night when the first one didn't come back.
MSG: Then I'll say we'll keep an eye out for them while we're inside.
Claire: I'll hand over the banner since we've made our deal.
GM Elle: She thanks you on both accounts, and then leads you up the stairs to the upper level of the keep. You see a ruined guard-house there, just walls with no roof. The orcs have set up a tarp across the top to give them shelter from the sun. At the back of the area is a dark opening leading into the cave. And I think this is probably a good place to stop the session, since you could get in the thick of things pretty quickly inside.
Sasha: I hope the thick of things includes monsters.
GM Elle: We'll see. Okay, participation, check. Exploring a new area, check. Defeating a dangerous enemy ... check for Dilfriida, but not really anyone else. Solving an obstacle without violence, definitely. Weaknesses -- I leave that up to you as usual.
MSG: I think Filvius and I kept up our knowledge-hunger competition pretty well.
Claire: Yep.
Ariel: I was for sure lazy several times, and Sash was always going on about monsters.
Akane: Zedeja commanded many times, despite dazedness the last part of the adventure.
Harriet: I'm going to say I don't feel like I was especially thin-skinned tonight, so I'll dock myself. You did a lot better playing faint-hearted, H.
Heddy: Thank you!
GM Elle: Next time, into the cave, then!

april!

sheesh! we're already a whole week into it!

april is a happy month around here. why? because it's the middle name of our most adorable yam, ariel april worthy. it's also the month we first found out she'd be coming to stay with us, so everyone at worthy acres feels it's auspicious as all get-out.

we did have an april shower over the weekend -- the pleasant, pattering kind, not the stormy blustery sort. will it bring may flowers? hopefully not in our yard, because those flowers would be on weeds.

it's spring, and it was cool here today without being chill, which i think is about the most perfect weather you can ask for here in south texas, where we mostly have a very short season of yikes! cold!, followed by a very long season of omg why does it have to be so hot? spring and autumn are even more fleeting than winter, so we have to enjoy them whenever they decide to show up.

i hope everyone has a nice april. and i hope everyone has a person in their lives as nice as ariel april worthy.

and if there's somebody that neither of those is the case for, i sure hope may brings some wonderful flowering for you.

xoxo,
claire

okay folks, i'm getting something off my chest here!

obviously, i'm biased in a big way, but you'd think all star trek fans would be biased in the same way, and apparently they're totally not, because i loved starfleet academy and i guess a lot of fans didn't?

so here's why i think the current trend of hate-campaigning a show you don't like is for small-spirited people. i saw a lot of social media comments while the show was on saying, "i kept hearing how bad starfleet academy was, but then i watched it and it's really pretty good, actually." and i'm betting for every one of those comments, there was somebody who heard it was bad and didn't watch.

which means the hate-campaigning suppressed the viewership, right? did it suppress the viewership by a lot, or by a little? who knows. but what i do know is, the hate-campaigning relied on dishonesty and caused some fans to cheat themselves out of a show they would have enjoyed. maybe it even caused enough people to avoid tuning in that the show's cancellation might have been avoided otherwise.

now what do i mean, it relied upon dishonesty? i don't mean that there was no reason to find any fault with the show. it's a star trek show, guys. you can find fault with every season of every one of them, if that's what floats your shuttlecraft. i also don't mean that it's not okay to speak up if a show isn't your thing.

but the number of people out there calling it "terrible" and full of "awful writing and characters" was nuts. you want to say, "it did nothing for me, and i hate having a star trek show do nothing for me," step right up and say that. also okay is, "i was so disappointed that they did this show about young people instead of a mature show like i wanted based on picard season 3." more power to you, even though picard season 3 was way dumber than starfleet academy.

what's not okay is to say it was terrible and awful and a sin against star trek and absolutely worthless. because nobody who knows anything about writing and has watched a lot of star trek can reasonably reach that conclusion. maybe you loved tos or tng to pieces. maybe ds9 was totally your thing and you thought voyager was even better. and then along comes starfleet academy and you hate it compared to those ones.

that's super!

only you aren't hating it because it's terrible writing. you're hating it because it's not as good as you want it to be, and it doesn't do what you want it to do. how do i know this? because i watched all those other shows too, and the average writing quality on their first seasons (except season 1 tos) didn't even come close to the average writing quality of star trek overall. i love those shows! but their first seasons? lots of lame-o writing. even tos, if you look at the biggest stinkers of season 1, had at least one episode way worse than any of the starfleet academy episodes. (i'm looking at you, "the alternative factor.")

i think a lot of people, if they were being honest and if they took an honest look at the writing in other trek shows, could certainly say, "i hate that i don't love it," or "i hate that it's got such a different tone," or even, "i hate that it's not up to snuff with the best trek, because by now people ought to have learned from the best trek episodes how to do trek at its best all the time." you could even reasonably say, "i hate that it's mediocre television."

but it's not awful and it doesn't have terrible characters, even if none of the characters appealed to you personally. and by spreading that kind of judgment around when it really isn't true, you hurt some of your fellow star trek fans. you convinced some of them not to watch a show they might have enjoyed. and you contributed to the cancellation of a show many people obviously did enjoy.

and if you know that and you're proud of it, you're kind of a bad person. sorry, but you are.

around here, we thought picard season three was crazy dumb. parts of it were super-fun anyway, and it was great to see the old crew get back together, but holy moley did the characters just do the dumbest stuff right and left all season long. i had to elbow msg sometimes because he groaned too loud about the worst moments.

but did anybody around here go online and rant about any of that dumbness?

no.

because what we were seeing other fans post was beautiful. suddenly, for the first time in years, the bulk of the social media discussion about a star trek show was actually people going on and on about enjoying it. they obviously weren't noticing all the dumb stuff ... and that was okay! seeing other star trek fans happy made us happy.

be bigger people, okay? if you don't like it, say you don't like it. but admit to yourself that not liking it doesn't automatically mean it's the worst writing ever, so ditch the exaggeration and just talk about your opinion like it's your opinion and not like it's the unbiased verdict of the cosmic deity of all good writing. don't talk about it like your low opinion of the show means the show's creators are bad people who weren't even trying. anybody who's done a lot of writing knows it's hard. even writers who've done a decent amount of it turn out stinkers from time to time. you being disappointed doesn't mean the writer wasn't sincerely putting in a lot of effort.

okay, beaming up from my soapbox now.

live long and prosper!
claire

secret of the dragon emperor ... part the-big-3-O!

can you believe how long this has dragged on? and we're still shy one statue piece of being able to get the dragon emperor's magic sword to go and explore the culty island in the vale's north end!

GM Elle: Here we go, then. Morning dawns in the town of Outskirt, weakened by the heavy mists that perpetually hang over the Misty Vale. Who thinks they would be up first?
Ariel: Not me!
Akane: Normally, Zedeja. Last night, though, an aged mage had to scribe into her grimoire the "Enchant Weapon" spell learned some time ago. A whole shift of work added to two shifts of travel, so probably she's later than normal for a leader so important to the group.
Harriet: I'm assuming Brandy enticed Dilfriida back to their room relatively early after their bath. But I doubt that means we got to sleep early enough to rise with the sun.
Heddy: Or that waking up necessarily means we're obligated to get out of bed.
MSG: Well, since Dolora is stuck with the shared dormitory for the night, she'll probably head up early to make sure she gets a good spot. So she might be among the first down in the morning.
Sasha: Quackers stayed up drinking pretty late telling everyone about all the monsters the group has killed and how we scared off that dragon on our way back from the giant's place. My Constitution is awesome, though, so I might still be up pretty early. I roll a 3 on a Con check to wake up at basically a normal time.
Claire: Filvius was up late getting that magic lesson from the de-aged hermit, but he probably skipped dinner in the process, so he'd be up early for breakfast.
GM Elle: In that case, eventually everyone trails down and eats breakfast, and not much of any note happens before you're all ready to head out.
Claire: Uhh ... why was it important what order we got up in if nothing was going to happen?
GM Elle: No particular reason.
Akane: Possibly there would be more happenings if different members arrived downstairs first. Annabelle the secretly Leanara cultist made suspicious efforts to discuss statue pieces with Dolora yesterday. If a knowledge-boasting junior mage or an untrustable halfling of crime came down, they might have answered her questions differently than a dour dwarf.
Harriet: That's a reasonable speculation. But wouldn't she have had her chance to query Dilfriida while taking her and Brandy to the bath after dinner?
Heddy: After dinner and a bit of dancing, you mean. And maybe Elle is just playing Annabelle smart enough to realize that Brandy and Dilfriida had their minds on very different things than chatting with a serving maid about their adventures.
GM Elle: I'm not commenting.
MSG: Well, since I'm up early anyway, I'll try to scrounge some information about the best way to get to Oracle Cave. That's where we think Filvius's dream from the fortune-telling spider-kin was pointing us, right?
GM Elle: Yes. Make a Persuasion roll with a boon to try to get the information out of someone.
MSG: My Persuasion is lame. I fail even with the Boon.
Claire: Since Filvy is up early too, I'd notice Dolora digging around for info, and I definitely don't want her getting ahead of me in knowledge, so I'll try too. Whoof, glad that had a Boon because one of the rolls is a Demon. Anyway, I fail too. I'm pretty sure my Persuasion is even worse than Dolora's.
GM Elle: Well, it's pretty clear anyone in the place who has that kind of knowledge also has better things to do this morning than talk to the two of you.
MSG: I guess we'll just have to rely on our map, then. I guess it shouldn't be too much of a problem considering my Bushcraft is 18.
Claire: And Filvius has a 17, although he's not letting on that his is lower than Dolora's. Not that he would believe that's the case anyway.
GM Elle: Before we get to the journey, though, everyone who wants to leave things at the bank needs to mark that on their character sheet. Money can be deposited for two coppers a day, or a strongbox can be rented to hold larger items for a silver a day.
Sasha: Oh, hey. I just realized I've still got this basilisk head from Dead Eyes Cave. Is it in any kind of shape I could maybe sell it to an alchemist or something? Or have it stuffed as a trophy?
GM Elle: It's been pretty close to a week since you killed that thing, so it's really rank by now. You can make a Bartering roll to sell it for 5 gold or pay 10 gold to have it stuffed.
Sasha: I'm lousy at Bartering, and it's a monster trophy, so I'll shell out the 10 gold.
Akane: We must remember such carried monster parts in the future. Zedeja would complain about the smell and insist for a duck to throw them out.
GM Elle: I'll leave that up to the players, unless you carry something really ripe into town where an NPC would notice. Between the bank and the taxidermist and fetching Glinssa, the first shift of the day is done by the time you head west and need to make your first Bushcraft roll.
Claire: I've got the map on my character sheet, so I'll make the roll rather than letting Dolora do it.
Akane: Wait! Zedeja must roll Awareness to know which Bushcrafter is superior so that she can order them to perform navigation.
GM Elle: I'll let you roll Bushcraft followed by Awareness to be able to determine that, since both of them are much better at Bushcraft than you are.
Akane: This is fair. Ah, no need to roll Awareness because in Bushcrafting, I have Demoned.
GM Elle: In that case, you're convinced that neither of them is any good with maps and that your own chance of navigating would be better.
Akane: Zedeja will argue this at each instance of map consulting. Her persistence is excessive.
GM Elle: In that case, Filvius will have a Bane on his Bushcrafting roll.
Claire: No worries. I succeed for the first shift.
GM Elle: Nothing of great concern happens as you're traveling, then. Just countryside rolling by in the valley's mists. You do spot another set of black-robed cultists hanging from a tree at one point. Glinssa becomes visibly nervous at the sight and tugs downward on her sleeve to make sure her tattoo isn't showing.
MSG: Someone really has it in for those cultists.
GM Elle: Do you want to press on for another shift? It will be long after dark when you make camp if you do.
Ariel: Fidu is totally against that. If anybody suggests it he acts like they're crazy.
Claire: Filvius would actually deliberately say we should stop for the night. There's no way he wants to keep putting up with Zedeja's complaints while having to read the map by lamplight, which I assume would turn the Bane into a double-Bane. He'll claim the map shows some areas ahead that look dangerous to attempt in the dark. 
Akane: Bluffery! The junior mage must roll this for it to be believed.
Claire: I fail pretty monumentally, so then I say, "Well obviously Fidu won't want to keep going until midnight, so why don't we just make camp and get some rest?"
Akane: What a scoundrelly junior! This is exactly what Zedeja would have insisted if provided honesty! Be more truthful!
GM Elle: Who's going to be on first watch, then?
Ariel: Not me! Not second watch, either, actually.
Sasha: Quackers has a bottle of booze that he'll volunteer to share a bit of with Dilfriida and Brandywise. Not too much since we'll be on watch. But I need to keep that oath about being drinking buddies.
Akane: Boozing is forbidden for watchers! Do not shirk so brazenly!
Harriet: Dilfriida tells Zedeja that if she doesn't want us to drink, she shouldn't drive us to it with so much nagging.
Heddy: Brandy is a bit concerned that we only have one bottle to last however long this trip takes, so she suggests we could water it down to ease Zedeja's concerns.
GM Elle: Your tent only holds four ... is someone putting out their sleeping furs outside, or will there be a fourth person on this watch?
Akane: Obviously, our suspicious recently cultish employee. Zedeja has no desire to sleep near her.
Harriet: I say I'm sure the feeling is mutual and then turn to our hireling and add, "Right, Glinssa?"
GM Elle: She looks distinctly uncomfortable and says she's okay with being on first watch.
MSG: I'm going to roll Bushcraft to set up the tent, then.
Claire: I'm going to backseat Bushcraft over your shoulder too, to show off my own skills. That should give you a Boon ... right, Game Master?
GM Elle: Right.
MSG: I'm grumpy about it, but apparently I needed the help because one of the dice is a Demon, which would have been bad if I didn't have the second die to succeed with.
GM Elle: First watch passes uneventfully, then. Second watch?
Ariel: Fidu doesn't want to leave his sleeping pelt or the tent ... and it's his tent, so he feels like people should respect that.
Sasha: So somebody's got to sleep on furs outside? I guess I'll do it. That way if any monsters attack in the night I'll be right there ready to get them.
MSG: I'll volunteer to set up Sir Q's sleeping furs, since he's volunteering to sleep outside.
Claire: I'll supervise again.
MSG: Two successes. Looks like I didn't need your help this time.
Claire: We'll have to agree to disagree on that.
GM Elle: Second watch also goes uneventfully. The new day dawns, and everyone needs to mark off a ration. Then roll Bushcraft for the first shift of navigation.
MSG: If Zedeja continues to harass Filvius today, Dolora will volunteer to help with navigation.
Claire: I don't want the help with the Bushcraft roll, but if you could keep her occupied and out of my hair, that would let me avoid the Bane.
MSG: Sure.
Claire: I succeed for the first shift, then.
GM Elle: As the day wears on, you see the western mountains growing every so slightly closer, and can tell that the land around their foothills is more heavily wooded. Then you come across some adventurers -- two elves and two halflings. They look somewhat banged up.
Claire: I'll say hello to the elves in elvish to show off my linguistic versatility.
GM Elle: They return the greeting and ask if you've found the way between here and Outskirt clear.
MSG: I'm going to roll Languages to try to participate in the discussion. A 9 is a success, so I'll say we've had no problems at all.
Claire: We did see some cultists hanging from a tree, though. I'll use some unusual elvish turn of phrase to try to foil Dolora's ability to follow things.
GM Elle: That will be another roll for Dolora, then.
MSG: 11. Still a success. I'll say that's exactly right, but as long as these travelers aren't cultists, they're probably safe from whoever did the killing and hanging.
GM Elle: The don't look entirely reassured. They ask if you're also seeking young Roric to get the reward from his family.
MSG: Is that the kid Gualmond told me about back at the Road's End Inn when he was giving us scoop on Oracle Cave?
GM Elle: You don't recall him giving a particular name.
Claire: I'll say we're on a treasure-hunting expedition actually, but I won't go into more detail than that.
Akane: Zedeja attempts Languages also to follow this elvish jibber-jabber. But! Failure. So she becomes Angry as I push the roll. Anger means a Bane -- oh. The worst result: a Demon.
Harriet: If my Languages skill had any hope of success, I'd roll it just to delight in whatever mistake Zedeja is making.
Heddy: I do roll, out of curiosity. But I fail.
GM Elle: Zedeja thinks the elves are asking to join the party and that Filvius is offering them treasure if they'll come along.
Akane: Absolutely not! We have too many halflings already! This is a magely outburst -- very loud.
GM Elle: The halflings and elves all look put off by that. They say they guess they'll be on their way then and let you go about your business.
Akane: This is allowable.
MSG: I'll try to give them a formal elvish apology for our rude companion. A 5 is a success.
GM Elle: They look a little less ruffled and give you polite nods as they leave. You can go ahead and roll for the afternoon shift's navigation.
Claire: Another success.
GM Elle: You reach the point on the map where the way splits to go southwest toward that area that looks like a mine and northwest toward the cave with the spider drawn by it, which you've assumed is Oracle Cave.
Claire: I'll point us at that one.
GM Elle: Then you enter the Iron Forest and make your way a few kilometers into it before it's time to camp again. Same routine as last time?
MSG: Sure. I successfully set up the tent.
GM Elle: Then a while after sundown, with the second-watch crew all asleep in the tent, I need the first watchers to roll Awareness. With a Bane if you've had more than a bit of the booze.
Sasha: Since we're trying to stretch it as far as it will go, I think we've actually followed Zedeja's advice and watered it down some. I make my roll pretty easily.
Harriet: I do too, surprisingly.
Heddy: I seem to be overly attracted by Dilfriida's charms and miss whatever it is.
GM Elle: Glinssa manages a good roll too. So she, Sir Q, and Dilfriida hear the shuffle of large feet drawing near through the darkness.
Sasha: I jump up and draw my broadsword. "Is that a monster? If it is, come out where I can chop you up!"
Heddy: My tipsy infatuation shatters into quivering fear. "Please don't be a monster, though! We're really not looking for trouble!"
Sasha: We are if it's a monster. "If you're a monster, step up and let's get to it! If you're not, maybe we'll share some of this hooch with you. Either way, you'd better show yourself."
GM Elle: A deep, gravelly voice says, "Drov not a monster. Drink sounds good! But put away sword." You realize that there's a hulking shadow in the trees just outside the reach of your firelight. There may be a hint of glowing yellow eyes, and Dilfriida catches a whiff of a familiar, distinctive stench.
Claire: This doesn't sound good.
Harriet: I hope you're not suggesting it's the reek of troll vomit.
GM Elle: I am actually suggesting that.
Sasha: Quackers isn't putting his sword away. He says, "I don't know, Drov. You look kind of monster-y to me. You sure you're not a monster?"
Heddy: How worried should I be if it's a troll?
Harriet: Filvius and I and a pair of bakers killed one early in the campaign, but it was a rough fight and we both caught a disease from being doused with troll effluent. Also, we learned that they heal every round if they're not in sunlight, so Dilfriida isn't keen to fight one right now. She'll say, "Um ... Sir Q, Drov is talking, right? Maybe that means he or she is just big. Like Glim-Glam!"
Sasha: I'm not very convinced ... but probably in a better mood than normal from the drinking and festivities, so maybe you can Persuade me. I think you'll have a Bane, though.
Heddy: Brandy is desperate to believe it's not a monster, so she'll lend her persuasive abilities to help Dilfriida. That would cancel the Bane, right?
Harriet: Well, if you speak up, Dilfriida will definitely let you take the lead, since she doesn't really feel the group respects her all that much and she can certainly tell you're a much smoother talker than she is.
Heddy: I roll a 6! Oh ... you all saw that, didn't you? It was absolutely a 6 before it slid off that paper and flipped to 19.
GM Elle: The roll is what shows when the die stops moving.
Sasha: I'll role-play it that you came super-close, Heddy. So I don't leap to attack, but I also don't put my sword away. "I'm not letting my guard down until I see you're not a monster, buddy. Come on, let's see you."
GM Elle: Drov takes two lumbering steps closer, and you see clearly that he's a troll, with great tusks and bright, yellowish eyes. "See? Just troll, not monster like dragon or spider in Oracle Cave. Now give drink!" He reaches out a massive hand with long, clawlike nails. You can see that they're caked with some kind of dark filth underneath.
Heddy: Brandy stammers that everything seems just fine and Quackenscrump should give Drov here a swig from the bottle.
Sasha: Damn it. I guess I'd better roll Awareness to see if I believe it's telling the truth about not being a monster.
Heddy: Can my encouragement count as help?
GM Elle: I'm going to make you roll Persuasion with a Bane to do that.
Heddy: Ugh. Now I'm certain to roll a Demon ... no, but the worse roll is a 15, which fails.
GM Elle: Straight Awareness for the mallard, then.
Sasha: What do you know? I actually succeed. Is it being straight with us?
GM Elle: You think so. But all that means is that a troll doesn't think trolls are monsters, and he sincerely would like a drink.
Sasha: Quackers is torn. It's pretty hard to see this smelly, tusky, filthy-clawed thing as not a monster, but I am in drinking buddy mode, and Brandy obviously doesn't want to fight. I guess I'll lower my sword without putting it away and reach out with my off hand to hold the bottle out toward Drov. "Here, give it a swig."
GM Elle: Drov snatches the bottle from you and tilts it up, draining the whole thing in just a few gulps.
Sasha: Hey!
GM Elle: The troll belches and makes a face. "So weak and watery! Why drink this?"
Sasha: Quackers is starting to get his feathers ruffled. "Well, it's all we had, for one thing. And now we don't have anything to drink at all."
GM Elle: He grunts and says, "Drov have much better drink back at cave. You come and I share."
Heddy: Brandy will immediately say, "Oh, I'm so comfortable here by the fire, though. But thank you so much."
Sasha: Quackers thinks it's a pretty win-win offer, to tell the truth. If the troll wants to lure him to his death, he'll get to fight it, and if it's being honest, he'll get some stronger booze. I'll ask Dilfriida and Glinssa if either of them wants to come and back me up.
Heddy: I'm clutching tightly to Dilfriida's arm, if that influences her decision either way.
GM Elle: Glinssa seems hesitant to say the least.
Sasha: I tell her if she's not brave enough to be my wingman at a time like this, she's never going to earn a place getting a full share in the party.
Akane: What? This sounds like unauthorized negotiations!
Harriet: You're asleep.
Akane: The slumber of Zedeja is disturbed by dreams of a duck overstepping a contract that is just for donkey-minding.
GM Elle: The notion of being more accepted by the group or at least getting more pay appeals to Glinssa, and she's also been a bit envious of the liquor bottle being passed around without her getting a share.
Sasha: Well she should have spoken up about that.
GM Elle: She decides to go.
Sasha: That's the spirit!
GM Elle: Drov leads the two of you through the woods for nearly an hour until you reach the dark maw of a cave that opens in the side of a hill. "Cave! Booze inside." The smell coming out of the opening kind of curls your toes. Glinssa suggests that it's a very nice night out, and maybe Drov could bring the alcohol out here instead of everyone going inside.
Sasha: Quackers says that sounds like a fine idea to him.
GM Elle: Drov grunts and lumbers into the cave.
Sasha: I look around to see if there's any wood we could use to set up a fire. We've got a torch, right? I assume we had to light one to see by. I can mark it off my inventory if I need to.
GM Elle: Sure. Make a Bushcraft check.
Sasha: Not even close.
GM Elle: You can have a Boon, because Glinssa would have helped if you told her what you were doing.
Sasha: Still a no.
GM Elle: Drov returns from the gave with an enormous jug, then. When he pops the cork, an almost corrosive smell of potent alcohol fumes out. He tips it up and guzzles from it loudly, then hands it to you. You'll need to make a Strength check to drink from it without spilling it on yourself, because it's so heavy and oversized.
Sasha: No problem. I succeed with a 9 and take a big glug.
GM Elle: In that case, make a Con check with a Bane.
MSG: Here we go.
Sasha: Damn it, you made me waste a Dragon! But the other die is a 13, so I still easily succeed.
GM Elle: The drink is vile and incredibly strong. Just a swallow makes your head spin, but you manage to avoid passing out.
Sasha: I offer the jug to Glinssa.
GM Elle: She raises it to her lips, but the odor makes her eyes cross and she hands it back to you.
Sasha: I'll give it another glug before returning it to Drov. Still a success even with the Bane.
GM Elle: Drov is impressed. Now, your choice here is to keep drinking with him, in which case you're definitely going to pass out soon, or call it a night.
Sasha: Can I ask him what he knows about Oracle Cave, since he mentioned it?
GM Elle: Sure. He says he's never been there himself, but he's heard from other nightkin in the area that it's somewhere to the northeast, and full of giant spiders. He knows there are some orcs living at an old ruined keep that serves the back entrance to the caves. He thinks it's somewhere northeast of the main entrance.
Sasha: I'll keep drinking, then. Unless Glinssa drags me away.
GM Elle: She remains pretty nervous, but Drov seems to be genuinely happy drinking with you, so she'll let you do what you want, in hopes that you'll put in a good word to increase her standing with the group.
MSG: I'll definitely be impressed if she sticks by Quackenscrump with a troll right there even after the duck passes out.
Claire: Me too ... if the troll isn't just waiting for them both to fall unconscious so it can eat the pair of them.
GM Elle: So what do Dilfriida and Brandywise do when the night continues to pass and there's no sign of Sir Q and Glinssa returning?
Harriet: I'm more than certain Dilfriida will grow ever more nervous by the hour ... but she also doesn't care to wake Zedeja early, especially since she's sure to have all sorts of calumny visited upon her if there's still no sign of Quackenscrump when the second watch gets up.
Heddy: Despite some really severe qualms, I'm still new to the group and I think I'd follow Dilfriida's lead. But I probably stay pretty fixated on wondering if our knight and cultist are okay.
GM Elle: Then eventually the time approaches for you to wake the others.
Akane: Outrage! Where is a duck knight? What mischief is underway by a missing cultist?
Harriet: I'll wait for someone else to ask before I relate what happened.
Ariel: If all the noise wakes Fidu up, he'll say they're probably either dead or okay, and it would sure be a waste to go chasing after them whichever one it is. Then he'll go back to sleep.
Heddy: I can't help but imagine other scenarios, though. What if they were attacked by the troll and managed to kill it, but now are too wounded to return? Or what if they had to flee from it and it's hunting them down through the woods and they're lost and can't find us for help?
MSG: It's too bad Fidu wasn't awake when the troll was here. His nose for the truth would have let him know if Drov could be trusted.
Heddy: Oh ... I forgot entirely about Heroic Abilities. Mine is intuition, so as soon as I remember it, I'll spend 3 WP to ask the Game Master a question.
GM Elle: Fire away.
Heddy: My question is ... for the safety of our missing party members, does the group need to go searching for them immediately, or will it be just as good to wait for morning?
GM Elle: Just as good to wait for morning.
Heddy: I'll let everyone know that I've had a sudden epiphany on the matter, and it seems more sensible to wait for morning. All of us will be rested then, we'll be better able to follow their tracks than in the dark, and so forth.
Akane: Zedeja considers this dereliction. She attempts arguments to convince our dwarf and elf to search with immediacy.
MSG: I'll say that it seems like two of our smarter party members feel that waiting until morning would be better.
Akane: Neither has more intelligence than Zedeja of Mind!
Claire: Filvius says she's welcome to use her enormous intellect to search after Quackenscrump and Glinssa.
Akane: This reminds Zedeja that no one in this party is good at Bushcrafting, which means searching at night has little chance of results. She tells everyone to be mindful and on guard this entire watch, to prevent sneakage of more trolls upon us.
GM Elle: The rest of the night passes without further interruptions, then. In the morning, Sir Q and Glinssa are still not back. Sasha, you wake groggily and with a spinning, nauseated head to find Glinssa shaking you repeatedly and begging you to wake up. She appears exhausted, and is still holding the burnt-down remnant of her torch. She tells you Drov went into his cave after you passed out, and she hasn't seen him since, but she'd really like to get out of here now that it's daylight. Mark yourself as Sickly and Exhausted.
Sasha: If I was smarter than I am and less hung over, I'd probably be worried that we won't be able to find our way back without Drov's help. But even though that doesn't occur to me, it seems rude to just leave without saying goodbye to our host, and I am a knight with at least some courtly manners, you know. I'll go to the mouth of the cave and call into it for Drov. "Friend, it's morning and time for us to go back to our companions. Are you awake?"
GM Elle: You hear a sleepy rumbling, but then a large creature heaves itself to its feet somewhere in the impenetrable darkness of the cave and comes toward you with slow but very audible steps. Drov's glowing yellow eyes appear in the dark, squinting as though it pains him to look toward the daylight behind you. He says, "Awake now. But why? So bright outside! The burning sun is up."
Sasha: I'll tell him I just wanted to say goodbye and thank him for the fellowship and spirits.
GM Elle: He tells you you're a funny little creature and he enjoyed drinking with you. Then he tells you to wait and turns away into the darkness again. When he reappears and comes closer, you see him holding another jug, not quite as big as the one from last night. He offers it to you as a parting gift and says to share it with others who will appreciate it.
Sasha: I tell him I'll do that for sure. Now I guess we'd better try finding our way back to camp. Do I get a Bane on the attempt from my hangover?
GM Elle: No, you feel terrible but are surprisingly clear-headed the longer you're on your feet.
Sasha: I don't even roll close on my Bushcraft skill. At least it's not a Demon that would get us hopelessly lost.
MSG: If it's light enough, Filvius and I would probably head out to look for tracks as soon as possible to avoid being bossed by Zedeja.
Akane: Too late! She began describing how you must search before sunrise.
MSG: Ordinarily I'd try to show Filvius up, but in this case I'll say I'm happy to assist him so that we can get Zedeja off our backs as soon as possible.
GM Elle: Is it just the two of you heading out?
MSG: Well, right now we're just trying to find tracks. If we come across any, we'll have to discuss what to do about them.
Claire: My roll with a Boon for Dolora's help is ... a double 18. Now that's just the dice mocking me.
MSG: Dolora feels like she should have gotten Filvius to help her instead of the other way around, since 18 would have been a success for me.
Claire: Sure, rub it in.
GM Elle: A normal failure doesn't block all progress, though ... but it does mean you waste the first shift entirely before you manage to find your lost companions. And I think this is a good place to call a halt to the session, so let's do the Experience Questions. Everyone participated. No dangerous enemies defeated. You did explore a new area, though, and overcame an obstacle without violence -- the troll in the case of everyone on first watch, and finding Quackenscrump and Glinssa on everyone else's part. I also think everyone gets the mark for giving in to their weaknesses, so that's four apiece.
Sasha: I'm docking myself the mark for not attacking the troll.
GM Elle: If you say so. I was crediting you for your fatalistic statement that either you'd get to drink with the troll or you'd get to fight it, so it was worth it putting yourself at risk by following Drov into the dark.
Sasha: Oh yeah. Okay, you convinced me. Thanks!

also ... look how easy it is to cheat!

just a followup to point out that last post changed my pattern to 5-7-6, and that already puts me on the path to 72 posts.

and whoa! what do you know? now i've just made it 5-7-7, totally on the way to 76 posts in 2026.

you got this, claire.

xoxo,
claire (from 2026, not that "hi, here to screw you" claire from 2025)

oh no, not 60!

you know, i try not to put pressure on myself about much of anything. i don't have a job to make myself stressed over whether i'm doing it well or not. i don't have relationship stress because i'm one of those super-duperlicious people who gets along with everybody around her just by being herself. i'm there for everybody, and i know i'm doing what i can for my whole wonderful polyfam. i to-o-o-tally stay away from politics and world events every single bit as much as i can.

but dang, i just can't shake this habit of thinking i need to keep up my streak of blogging more this year than i did last year. jeepers, i screwed myself by blogging so much last year! ("hi, claire from 2026! i'm claire from 2025! would you mind bending over so i can give it to you hard with these 79 entries? thanks!")

i mean, i keep saying there's no reason to push myself ... and then i turn around and think, well, all you've got to do to hit 80 entries is average 6.7 posts a month, you know. 

6.7!

i've already done a month with 5 blog entries, a month with 7 entries, and another month with 5 entries, so how hard would it be to get my average up to 6.7? but then on the other hand, if i just keep writing 5 entries a month and then slack by an entry two months, i'll still hit 60 posts for the year, and what's so bad about 60?

not only that, but if i keep going with this 5, 7, 5 pattern all year, that'll be 68, and hot damn-kablam if i couldn't throw one extra in there somewhere to make it 69, which honestly is a much better number than 79.

the point is, keep at it, and whatever happens, it will more or less be all right, okay?

yikes! i didn't plan it, but the heck if this didn't turn out to be a post about somebody i know turning semi-old this year.

secret of the dragon emperor ... part 29!

holy mole sauce, folks, we're almost to part 30 of this beast!

GM Elle: All right. Grim-Grum collects his things from his cousin's place and Glim-Glam watches him head east into the wilderness, his head and shoulders towering up above the treetops until he disappears in the distance. Then she turns to you with a grunt and says she's going to do some spring cleaning before she butchers the pigs to roast them for dinner. In case you don't take her point, she adds, "Plenty daylight left for you to head back to that inn."
MSG: I tell her it was good going business with her. Then I'll look at Zedeja to see if she's about to order everybody to hit the road.
Akane: She was. But now she sees a dour dwarf looking at her and says, "What is it, dwarf?"
MSG: I'll just shrug.
Ariel: Well Fidu is beat, so he's going to go get in the cart and rest. Wake me up when we get to the inn!
Sasha: What, so you can go inside and go back to sleep?
Ariel: Exactly, except with some eating dinner in between.
Akane: Zedeja commands the group to proceed inn-ward. "March!" she says.
GM Elle: Assuming you all obey --
Harriet: Or coincidentally start heading for the inn, in the case of we who refuse to bow to Zedeja's browbeating.
GM Elle: Or that, right. You head north along the road once more, making your way out of the rolling hills toward the more level region that the road passes through as the haunted marshes grow visible ahead to the east. Suddenly, you all have an eerie sensation of being small and vulnerable. The sky darkens for just a flash, as an immense shadow passes over you. Anyone who looks up needs to make a WIL save against Fear.
MSG: Well, Dolora definitely can't skip the opportunity to see what makes a shadow like that, so I guess I'm rolling. That's a 15, so I'll become Scared and push the roll ... a 12 makes it.
Claire: Like hell is Filvius going to avoid looking and let Dolora know something he doesn't ... fail. I'll get Scared too ... and roll even worse on the push, so here comes the Fear.
GM Elle: And the table says ... Wild Panic. You're going to flee the scene as fast as you can and not stop running until you succeed on a new WIL check.
Claire: Which will be a while, since I just made myself Scared and that gives me a Bane on WIL rolls.
Ariel: I'm sleeping. Did the creepy small feeling get through to me even though I'm napping?
GM Elle: I'll say no.
Ariel: Woohoo! Sloth pays off!
Sasha: Quackers makes the roll with no problem. And obviously he's looking up since it might be a monster. Is it?
GM Elle: Let's finish everyone's Fear checks.
Sasha: If we have to.
Akane: Zedeja rolls a Dragon. This has benefits, yes? Can she spot a cowardly elf about to run and command him?
GM Elle: Yes, but wait until the checks are done and I tell everyone what they see.
Harriet: Dilfriida already felt small, so if she feels even smaller, she's going to reflexively try to duck under the back end of the cart to hide rather than looking up.
Heddy: Brandywise can't even conceive of looking up in these circumstances. I'm just marking her Scared on general principle.
GM Elle: Only one character succumbs to Fear, then. Everyone who looked up sees a great silhouette outlined against the sky -- broad, batlike wings and a serpentine tail and neck. It can't possibly be anything other than a dragon. Zedeja, what's your command to Filvius?
Akane: Do not run, you cowardly elf! Our mallard will leap to protect us! Don't you wish to learn what a duck knight looks like getting swallowed by a dragon?
GM Elle: Make a Persuasion roll on top of that and if you succeed I'll let Filvius have another WIL check against the Fear.
Akane: Failure. Obviously an elf of cowardice is beyond even the persuasion of this mage.
Claire: I guess Filvius breaks and runs, then.
Akane: No, we must Initiate! Others may stop him.
Claire: Good point.
GM Elle: Here are the cards.
MSG: 8.
Claire: 10, so I guess everyone gets a chance to dog-pile on me.
Ariel: Fidu might be offended by that if he was awake. I get 7 in case someone screams from being a scaredy-pants and wakes me up.
Sasha: Quackers is on 3.
Akane: Zedeja, 4.
Harriet: 5.
Heddy: 6.
GM Elle: Sir Quackenscrump is up, then.
Sasha: I'm yelling at the top of my lungs, "That's right, you better keep flying, you big chicken dragon! You don't want to take this crew on!"
Harriet: Please let the dragon already be too far away to hear that.
GM Elle: Zedeja?
Akane: I attempt Levitation of the elf. Probably he is too Scared to be willing, so it's a Bane on this roll, but still I succeed. He is lifted directly in front of our dwarf and falls slowly to the ground. "Seize him, dwarf!"
Harriet: I'm next, but I'm not coming out from under this cart.
Heddy: I'm cowering with my hands over my eyes.
GM Elle: All right, so Quackers yelled full-out and Zedeja barked orders at both Filvius and Dolora, so Fidu needs to make an Awareness check. On a success he wakes up.
Ariel: "Barked" is also kinda offensive, you know. And my awareness is pretty good so I make it. "What's going on now? Why's everybody yelling?" I guess I'll trade cards with Dolora and wait.
MSG: I guess I'm trying to tackle Filvius, then. How's that work in this game?
Claire: It's an opposed Brawling check.
MSG: Bleh. My Brawling sucks.
Claire: Probably not as bad as mine!
Ariel: Would you guys just roll? I want to get back to my nap.
MSG: I fail with a 14.
Claire: Ooh, I succeed with a 4. What's that get me?
GM Elle: Nothing, really. Dolora's failure means she faceplants.
Ariel: I guess it's my turn, then? But nobody answered me, so I'm still not sure what's going on. Um, should I roll INT or maybe Awareness to figure it out?
GM Elle: Awareness.
Ariel: Nope, no clue. I guess Dolora got mad at Filvius for being a know-it-all or something. I'll just watch.
Claire: I take off running for the nearest cover, then. Are there trees nearby or anything?
GM Elle: I'll roll the 12-sider. On 1-11, that's how many rounds you are away from the nearest clump of trees. On a 12, you happen to be pretty close to Hanhgrav's burial mound and statue, which might seem like a good hiding place to you. 
MSG: That could be fun.
GM Elle: Nope, 3 rounds. By the way, the dragon does not turn around at Quackenscrump's challenge. It's winging majestically away into the distance at enormous speed. New initiative.
MSG: 6.
Claire: I get the 1! Yes, I'm high-tailing it for those trees.
Ariel: 8 for me.
Sasha: 3 again.
Akane: 4 again!
Harriet: 5 again for me as well. Are you sure you shuffled these, Elle?
GM Elle: At least passingly. It's really sort of moot since Claire got the 1 and the only person faster than Filvius is Fidu, who's last this round. Claire, you do get to start rolling to overcome your Fear this round.
Claire: Nope, I'm elfin' it for those trees.
Sasha: Quackers is still watching the dragon. It might still turn around.
Akane: Zedeja will Round Rest to gain back WP. Ah, 6!
Harriet: Still cowering.
Heddy: I forgot to mention that I had the 2 card, so I was supposed to say this sooner, but I'm doing the same thing this round as last round.
MSG: Dolora will move after Filvius and blow her horn to give him a Boon on his next WIL check.
Ariel: Ooh, good move! In fact that's good enough Fidu thinks you've got it wrapped up, so he doesn't need to try chasing Filvius down.
GM Elle: Initiative again, then.
MSG: 5.
Claire: 2!
Ariel: I got the 1, kind of a waste since I'm not doing anything.
Sasha: You would always wait and trade with someone.
Ariel: That seems like a lot of work.
Sasha: I'm on 6, then. You can skip me when my turn comes around because I'm still staring at that dragon.
Akane: 9 is the initiative of Zedeja.
Harriet: 7.
Heddy: 8. Do Het and I even need to keep drawing?
GM Elle: Anyone who wants to just sit and be a bystander is free to do so.
Claire: I'm up then, right? My WIL roll this time is ... 14. Another fail. I keep running.
MSG: I'll blow my horn again.
GM Elle: Seems like it's just Dolora and Filvius then, so there's no need to draw. If Claire wins, she goes first, and if Dolora wins, I'm guessing MSG will trade with Claire so that Dolora's Musician ability is still active when it gets to Filvius's turn.
MSG: Yep. 
Claire: Whew! This time my roll's an 8. I guess I'll stop and pant for a bit to regain my breath and composure, then head back.
Sasha: Is the dragon out of sight yet?
GM Elle: It is by the time Filvius gets back.
Sasha: Damn. That was a heck of a monster. We'd better get to fight one of those someday.
Akane: The speed of our experiencing seems poor for killing dragons soon. Probably Zedeja will age to death first.
Harriet: Is Zedeja talking about that out loud? If so, Dilfriida will certainly make a crack about the day not being able to come soon enough.
Akane: Tolerance of a halfling accelerates it! But Zedeja warns, if a halfling tries to dance on her grave, she will return skeletonly to devour the offender.
Harriet: Dilfriida says something like, "Go ahead and try it. You're already halfway to being a skeleton anyway."
Heddy: Brandywise says this sort of talk makes her unhappy ... also, that she can think of much better places to dance than on a grave. There's a bit of a lift of her eyebrows in Dilfriida's direction as she adds the last bit.
Harriet: My awareness roll is a 15, so her meaning glances off me like monster pee off a mallard knight's back.
Sasha: Quackers resents the idea he'd ever let a monster pee on him. That monster would be dead so fast ...
Harriet: Monster blood, then.
Sasha: That, I'm okay with.
GM Elle: To move things along ... after this sort of talk goes on for several more hours, you arrive once again at the Road's End Inn. The sun is a westering patch of glow through the ever-present mists of the vale and work is winding down on the painting and patch-work of the building's exterior as you roll up.
MSG: Have they got the place in shape enough for business? I could go for a nice meal and sleeping in a real bed.
GM Elle: They're not offering a menu, but there's stew and ale, and you can rent a private room if you want. But they say the mattresses aren't coming until tomorrow or the next day.
MSG: Damn.
Ariel: Fidu just wants a quiet place to roll out his sleeping furs, so he'll take a room.
Sasha: I'll have some of that ale before bedtime. And I guess my oath means I've got to ask Brandywise if she wants to raise a glass together.
Heddy: That's the sort of invitation I'll never turn down. I'll ask Dilfriida to join us as well.
Harriet: Dilfriida is awkwardly unused to so much socializing, but more than happy for a repeat of the previous night.
Heddy: Brandy will try to see about making it more of an extension and continuation than just repetition.
GM Elle: Just to let you know, all the private rooms will be claimed if you spend too much time partying.
Heddy: That's all right. If things progress in that direction, I'm sure we can find a cuddlesome corner somewhere, maybe behind the bar. What do I need to roll to attempt some innuendo and encourage Dilfriida into taking a lead toward a more intimate bedtime configuration?
GM Elle: That sounds like a Performance to me.
Harriet: Gamemaster's prerogative, obviously, but I would suggest a Boon on that Performance roll due to the amount of alcohol Dilfriida consumes, followed by a Bane on Dilfriida's Awareness check to see if she takes the hint.
GM Elle: I'm all right with that.
Heddy: The Boon lets me succeed on Performance.
Harriet: Hmm! I succeed on both dice, so the Bane didn't foil my Awareness.
MSG: Now they both need to make a Sneaking roll or the whole place will know what they get up to.
Harriet: Scandalous, but not unreasonable.
Heddy: I fail a CON check on my drinking for the evening, if you want to give me a Bane on the Sneaking.
GM Elle: Banes for both of you. Why not?
Heddy: Failure.
Harriet: A Dragon and a 16, both successes given my stealthiness.
Heddy: Apparently you coax a pronounced bleat from me at one or more points, then.
Ariel: I feel like I should be covering my ears for this! I mean, "me" I, not "Fidu" I. He's asleep.
Akane: Zedeja would also have removed herself from sight of halfling revelry in early evening.
Harriet: I don't think we need go into any further detail anyway.
Heddy: Let's compare notes after the session, though.
GM Elle: In the morning you head for Outskirt, then. Do you want to make any plans about what you'll be doing when you get there? Glinssa is nervous about going back where she might run into Quasimund and her other former cult-mates.
MSG: I'm wondering if we might need to trade in our cart for a wagon. I think we came pretty close to filling up the whole 50 weight units worth of cargo space a couple of times on this trip.
Claire: The donkeys and their saddlebags too? That's almost another 30 weight units, isn't it?
MSG: I guess that's true. Do we know if there's a bank in town? We've racked up a lot of loot I'd rather not get robbed of if someone comes along while we're in a dungeon.
Akane: Our cultist must defend it, then! Why are we paying her otherwise?
Harriet: I thought it was so that our donkeys would be safe from wandering off in our dungeoneering absences.
GM Elle: There is a bank in town. You've either heard of it already or you could ask Gualmond and his party and they'll tell you. Glinssa looks alarmed at the prospect of having to fight off gangs of robbers while everyone else is inside a dungeon.
MSG: I'll assure her she's free to run if she thinks she's in danger and can't get the cart and donkeys away.
Akane: Unacceptable!
Claire: Back to the real subject -- do we have anything we think might be magical? I can check for that with my Sense Magic trick, to make sure we're not selling off something that's more valuable than it looks.
Harriet: Dilfriida says she has that ring she found in the Magna Woods. She does not say that she has Hanhgrav's crown, which she pilfered from his corpse's head in the tomb. But she'll ask Filvius if they can check the ring out in private, because she doesn't want Zedeja interfering in her business.
Claire: I'm good with that.
Akane: Zedeja peers at both in suspicion. But she knows -- insisting to observe equals a halfling refusing to have the magic sensed. So she decides to badger the elf later for information.
Harriet: In that case, once we're alone, I'll ask Filvius if he wants in on a secret no one else knows.
Claire: Boy, do I ever! What is it?
Harriet: I show him the crown and say I want to know if it and the ring are magical.
Claire: Two castings of Sense Magic coming right up! What do I find out?
GM Elle: The ring is magical and has the ability to activate the Light trick, but your Sense Magic only tells you the kind of magic, not how to use it. The crown is just very pretty and sparkly.
Ariel: Doesn't that mean the ring might as well not be magic in the first place?
GM Elle: I think it's up to the characters to decide whether there might be some way to uncover the magical trigger.
Claire: As a mage, would Filvius have any idea how to figure something like that out, if there aren't any spells in the book for it?
GM Elle: Sure. If you found some gizmo in the real world, and you didn't know what it was, how would you figure it out?
Ariel: Ooh! Look up where the next Antiques Road Show stop is going to be! And when, I guess. Is that show still on?
Sasha: Pawn shop, maybe?
Claire: I guess there're probably parallels to those in this world. Hey, like maybe the old hermit in Outskirt! He seemed to be pretty in-the-know. We could ask him while we're in town.
Harriet: Dilfriida would be "cool" with that. It probably doesn't occur to her that the hermit had rather a poor reaction to some of Filvius's behavior last time.
GM Elle: Meanwhile, Glinssa would at some point repeat her nervousness about going into Outskirt and says maybe the group could help her find a farm to stay at or something.
MSG: Oops. I'll apologize for ignoring her. We've been in and out of town a couple of times now ... are we familiar with the locations of the nearby farms?
GM Elle: Yes. In fact, you've been to one of them -- Old Man Mifaldor's place. You took those bandits there to work off their debt to society.
MSG: I'm not sure a place with known bandits is the safest for Glinssa to hide ... but I also guess we're overdue to see how putting the bandits there worked out. Maybe they've become productive citizens and Mifaldor will be grateful enough for the help that he'll be okay putting Glinssa up for a day or two.
Claire: Wait. Wasn't it Mifaldor's barn that the troll was in? That was inside town, not outside.
GM Elle: Hang on ... okay, you're right. I should have checked my notes more carefully before announcing that. In that case, the outlying farms are all owned by people you're unfamiliar with, unless they happened to be eating in the common room of the Three Stags at some point while you were there. Even then, you probably don't know them by name.
Akane: Another obstacle! Will farmers take in a cultist when we admit to them she is one?
MSG: I wasn't planning on telling them.
Akane: What an irresponsible dwarf.
Harriet: Dilfriida will chime in that she's an ex-cultist, and also call Zedeja an old hag in the process.
Akane: She has a tattoo!
Harriet: Well, we haven't ascertained the location of any tattoo parlor where she could rectify that situation, have we?
Akane: Excuses.
GM Elle: Let's skip ahead and say you find a place about half a mile outside town that would be willing to take her in. Make a Bartering roll to see what sort of deal you get on her lodging.
MSG: Does Fidu want to do the negotiating, Aers?
Ariel: Huh? What? He's napping in the cart. Do you want to wake him up?
MSG: I guess not, but my Bartering stinks. And I roll an 18.
GM Elle: They'll charge you eight silver, then -- about what it would cost for a meal at an inn and a single room. But she'll be sleeping in the barn and getting the same supper as a farmworker.
Ariel: Wow, you really should have woken Fidu up!
MSG: I'm pretty sure I can afford it, out of my share of the party's wagonload of loot.
GM Elle: How much of that loot is in the form of jewelry or gems, by the way? Outskirt is a frontier town, not a big city, so there may not be a good market for too large a load of luxury items. The crown, for instance, is probably going to be outside of anyone's budget if you want to get a decent exchange for it.
MSG: Let me look at our cart inventory sheet ... looks like a 50 sp bracelet, two 80 gp bracelets, a 90 sp brooch, a 70 gp amulet, and that mastercrafted broadsword from Dead Eyes Cave.
GM Elle: The silver jewelry you can exchange without issue. The gold bracelets and amulet you'll need to Barter to sell, and you'll have a Bane on the second one and a double-Bane on the third.
MSG: We'll definitely leave that up to Fidu then.
Ariel: Sure thing! I make it on the first roll -- kinda barely, but an 18 is a success because I'm awesome that way. Then I make the one with the Bane ... but boo! I fail the double-Bane one. What's that mean?
GM Elle: Roll a d20 and take that many gp off the price.
Ariel: Woohoo! Only 3!
GM Elle: Now roll another Bartering check to sell the mastercrafted broadsword at Okald and Badinor's smithy.
MSG: Can I tell them a rousing story about our adventures in getting hold of that sword, to give Fidu a Boon on his Bartering?
GM Elle: Sure.
MSG: I succeed pretty easily.
Ariel: My bartering roll is a piece of cake.
GM Elle: In that case, they'll give you 70% of what they think they can sell it for, which is 120 gp. That works out to 84 gp
Ariel: Oh! And what about Hanhgrav's sword that I got from his tomb?
Claire: You totally should have me check that for magic before we sell it.
Ariel: Super! Do it!
GM Elle: The greatsword is magical. You sense that you could spend WP to activate a spell that's permanently sealed into it.
Claire: Sweet. I do that. How many WP, and what happens?
GM Elle: It costs 4 WP, and activates an Enchant Weapon spell at Power Level 2. That means attacks with it count a 1-3 as a Dragon instead of just a 1 for the period of a stretch. You can only use the power once a day.
MSG: Dang, that's a pretty great greatsword. But can anybody besides Sir Q use a sword worth a damn? I can't.
Claire: Me either.
Ariel: Um ... no, my sheet says I suck at swording.
Akane: Zedeja needs only fists of Iron and Power!
Harriet: Even if Dilfriida possessed a decent Swords skill -- which she does not -- it seems unlikely a halfling could wield such an enormous weapon with any success.
Heddy: All my weapon skills are 5 except Knives, which is an 8.
Sasha: I mostly want to keep using my broadsword and shield so I can block missile attacks if I've got to. But it would be nice to have a kick-ass magic greatsword if we come across some reallly super-tough monster. I say we keep it.
GM Elle: Based on how expensive just a mastercrafted greatsword is, you suspect it would be hard to sell for a decent price in Outskirt anyway, much less for the price a magical greatsword would be worth.
MSG: That settles it as far as I'm concerned. So with all that trading, we come out at ... 656 gp, 310 sp, and 260 cp. How do we want to split that?
Heddy: Brandywise says she wouldn't feel right taking a share of anything beyond the gold we've gotten since she joined the group.
GM Elle: That's only the 39 gp and 80 coppers from the bandits' chest, you know.
MSG: Converting everything to gold and dividing by 6, I come up with 114 gp, 9 sp, and 3 cp each. If we let Brandy have 4 gp, 9 sp, and 3 cp each, that will be a round 110 gp for the long-term party members, and 29 gp, 5 sp, and 8 cp for Brandy.
Heddy: That seems more than fair, considering I was proposing my take would be 1/7th of the 39 gp and 80 copper pieces. Does Glinssa get a share?
MSG: She's supposed to get 2 silvers a day plus room and board for minding the donkeys, and Dolora told her she'd get at least some cut of loot. But Zedeja isn't aware of that.
Akane: Beware an aged mage gaining knowledge of your subterfugings!
Heddy: If Dolora lets me know on the sly, then, I'll give Glinssa 4 of my gold pieces once we meet back up with her.
Akane: Why would we do this? The cultist is at a farm to the east. Our next goal is to the west. She is an inconvenience of detouring!
MSG: We still need someone to watch the donkeys if we go in a dungeon.
Akane: We have a satyr with weapon skills of all 5's, plus Knives skill only pitifully improved over the rest.
Heddy: Yes, but I'm much too fretful to stay alone with our cart and donkeys while everyone else disappears into a cave or some ruins for hours.
Akane: Zedeja will instruct bravery into you.
Harriet: Dilfriida tells Brandy not to worry. "Nobody listens to Zedeja except when they're trying to get her to shut up."
Heddy: She still makes me nervous.
GM Elle: All right, what else are you going to do in town before staying the night and heading out for Oracle Cave?
MSG: I'm going to buy a heavy warhammer as an upgrade on my large wooden club.
Claire: Dilfriida and I are going to talk to the old hermit, right?
Harriet: With certainty. I'll invite Brandy along too.
Heddy: That's very kind of you.
Ariel: I'm going right to the inn for dinner and then it's bedtime!
Sasha: Quackers will be doing some drinking in the Three Stags' common room.
Akane: Zedeja also will have dining and retiring. Wait! I just recalled -- there is a spell in the head of Zedeja that needs writing down! She will buy supplies for writing from the town store and do this.
GM Elle: In that case, Filvius, Dilfriida, and Brandywise head to the town's central hill and climb the worn stone stairs up and past the ruins there to the hut where Dranath lives.
Claire: Once we get there and he answers the door, I'm going to ask him if he can teach me another spell for 3 gold. That Heal Wound spell he taught me is pretty good, so maybe he knows something else useful too.
Harriet: Are you just informing the game master of this intent, or is it a part of conversation on the way there? Dilfriida's not possessed of any better people skills than Filvius, but perhaps our new scholarly companion might advise a more tactful way of approaching the subject.
Heddy: I would definitely do that if I'm aware of what Filvius is planning.
Claire: Well, learning the spell was an acquisition of knowledge, and Dolora's not around to hear me touting Dranath as a source of information and lessons, so I'd probably brag about the idea of increasing my spell list.
GM Elle: Brandywise prevents you from being too tactless, then, so we can skip over any aggravated reaction from Dranath. You do notice he's still looking in the healthy prime of life after that magical mishap de-aged him.
Claire: I'll congratulate him on how much less wrinkled he's looking and ask him what other spells he's got that he could teach me.
GM Elle: He'd rather you ask him for the type of spell you're interested in. As an alternative, you could pay him a gold piece to tell you his Rank 1 spells, or two gold for his Rank 2 spells.
Claire: I'm feeling pretty rich, so I'll shell out 3 gold for both.
GM Elle: In that case, his full list is: Sense Magic, Dispel, Protector, Magic Shield, Banish, Ensnaring Roots, Lightning Flash, Treat Wound, Heal Wound, Lightning Bolt, and Purge
Claire: Jeepers. Now I have to look all of those up to know which one I want!
Sasha: Or you could just look up Lightning Bolt, since it sounds pretty awesome as far as I can tell.
Claire: Actually, before looking them up, I should ask -- do I know what all of those spells do?
GM Elle: You know Lightning Bolt is an upgrade for your Lightning Flash spell. You can roll your Animism skill for each of the ones you don't know.
Claire: Let's see ... okay, I just used up a bunch of good rolls, because I made it for all of them.
GM Elle: Go ahead and read the book, then. While you're thinking your choice over, Dranath and Dilfriida can discuss the magic ring. He asks you where you got it and to describe anything about its discovery that you can remember.
Harriet: It's been forever and a day for me as a player, so I honestly don't recall. Can I look it up in the notes?
GM Elle: I have them right here. You found it while camping. There was a fallen milestone near your camp, and Dilfriida noticed while examining it that it had a secret compartment. The ring was in there. With that information, Dranath says he believes he knows what the ring is and what it does. He'll reveal its secret for 5 silver pieces.
Harriet: Dilfriida is amenable to paying that.
GM Elle: He says it's a ring placed there for servants of the Dragon Emperor to use in time of need. By evoking the name of Eledain and asking him to light the way, it will activate the Light magic trick. You do have to spend your own WP to cast it. He lets you know that each ring typically has only a few uses.
Harriet: How will I know when it's running out?
GM Elle: Either by casting Sense Magic on it to see if it's still magical, or by trying to use it and discovering it no longer works. Claire, has Filvius settled on a spell?
Claire: I'm waffling between Ensnaring Roots and Lightning Bolt. Ensnaring Roots is kind of weak -- it just ties one person up until they break loose. But Lightning Bolt is like Lightning Flash, so it costs double the WP to cast indoors, and you can't cast it when your allies are close to an enemy or they might get zapped too.
Sasha: You know you want Lightning Bolt.
Claire: Okay, yeah, that's true. I'll give him 3 gold to teach me. It takes a shift, right? I'm guessing Dilfriida and Brandy don't want to hang out that whole time.
Harriet: Dilfriida got what she came for. She asks if Brandy wants to head back to the inn for some revelry.
Heddy: I do ... but there are ruins here on the hill, right? I wouldn't mind poking my scholarly nose into them and seeing what there is to see. From my skim of the notes, I seem to remember that the two of you rolled very badly during your examination of the place and didn't find anything out.
GM Elle: That's true. You can roll Myths & Legends when looking at the painted ceiling of the ruined temple.
Heddy: Success!
GM Elle: You see a pattern there that reminds you of the stylized crowns that are etched into the stone of the Misty Vale's ubiquitous milestones. Both of these are connected, you think, to the legend of Eledain, the Dragon Emperor.
Heddy: Interesting. I'll also casually stroll about and see if there are any cozy corners where I might entice my new friend to a brief bit of private revelry before we head back to the inn and the press of the crowds.
GM Elle: Roll Spot Hidden.
Heddy: Also a success. 
GM Elle: While looking, you come across a small niche. There are some runes of an archaic flavor carved into it. Roll Languages to see if you can decipher them.
Heddy: I'm rolling up a storm here. Ah, but this one I miss. A 16 against my Languages skill of 15.
GM Elle: No luck reading the runes then.
Heddy: And what about cozy corners?
GM Elle: Well, it's a bit musty and ruin-y in here, but there are certainly spots you could make use of for a bit of privacy as long as no one actually enters the temple and starts looking around.
Heddy: Again, because of Dilfriida's oath, I attempt some bold but indirect hints at the idea of a bit of frolicking.
GM Elle: Roll Performance or Persuasion.
Heddy: They're the same numerically, and in any event, I roll a 19, so my point is probably lost on her. When it becomes obvious to me that I'm failing in my flirtations, I suggest we head back to the Inn.
GM Elle: In that case, back at the inn, Fidu is asleep in the room -- I assume he and Zedeja are sharing as normal? And that Fidu will make a Bartering roll to negotiate a lower rate from Vagnhild?
Ariel: We were on the road an awful long time and I had to listen to a whole bunch of arguing from Zedeja, so I think I was probably too lazy to barter today. I'll just pay the normal rate for dinner and the room. Plus we just divvied up all that money, so I'm feeling pretty rich.
Akane: Zedeja has no feelings of richness, so is definitely sharing the hound's room. But! Not asleep yet, remember. She must write down a spell in her grimoire.
GM Elle: All right. Sir Quackenscrump went straight to drinking upon getting to the inn. What does Dolora do after her shopping?
MSG: Probably go back to the Three Stags and get some dinner, then see if whoever else is around wants to share a room instead of sleeping in the dormitory.
GM Elle: When Dolora orders dinner, Annabelle the serving maid is very friendly and says it looks like the dwarf and her group have done well on their adventures, since she notices the shiny new warhammer in place of the rough wooden club you used to carry.
MSG: I'll tell her we've done okay. I don't think I want to make much chit-chat, since we know now that she's a member of the cult of Sathmog.
Ariel: Oh, that's right! I was probably giving her the stink-eye while I was eating. Not so much that I'd wear myself out by stink-eye-ing her the whole way through dinner, though.
GM Elle: After Dolora has eaten, she asks if you'd like anything else to drink.
Sasha: If I noticed Dolora eating, I'd probably have come over from the bar and encouraged her to drink up to get over being her usual dour self. So am I there for that?
GM Elle: The common room isn't that big, so I think it's doubtful you'd have missed one of your companions coming in and having a meal. Unless you want to tell me you've already had so much to drink that your Awareness is impaired.
Sasha: Nah, Quackers can handle his hooch. And since I'm there for Annabelle saying that, I tell her to bring us a pitcher of ale or mead to share.
MSG: I guess I'm stuck helping drink it, then.
Sasha: That's the spirit!
GM Elle: When Annabelle comes back with the pitcher, she casually asks, "So have you folks had any luck with that map of yours?" and in a lower voice she adds, "Come across any of those statue pieces I told you about?"
MSG: I'll tell her the map has helped us find several places to adventure at, but no luck with the statue pieces. Since that's a lie, I assume I need to roll Bluffing ... I make it easily with a 4.
GM Elle: She seems disappointed and maybe even momentarily suspicious, but then cheerfully tells you to let her know when you need a refill on your pitcher or if there's anything else.
MSG: I tell her we'll be sure to do that.
GM Elle: A little while later, Dilfriida and Brandywise return. Will you join Dolora and Sir Q at their table, or find a corner of the room to yourselves?
Heddy: That's a more challenging question for Brandywise than you might think. She'd definitely like some more time alone with Dilfriida, but she's also supposed to be Quackenscrump's drinking buddy, so she might feel obliged to sit at the group table.
Harriet: Dilfriida remains somewhat oblivious to Brandy's attentions -- or she might just be uncertain how to deal with them, since all of this is very new to her. I think she'd be inclined to head toward Dolora and Sir Q.
Heddy: I'll sigh inwardly and follow along, then tell myself it's probably for the best, since the knight's oath at the fountain would probably make him come over and invite himself to drink with us or vice versa, and he wouldn't really be able to take no for an answer. Say ... have we figured out the repercussions of failing to live up to one of those oaths?
GM Elle: Not yet -- nobody's tried to go against theirs.
Heddy: When we sit and order our food, I'll let her know we're also interested in getting a room for two for the night.
GM Elle: She says she thinks you're in luck, because one of the inn's two private rooms is still unreserved for the night, as far as she knows.
MSG: D'oh. I forgot there were only two real rooms in this place. Not much of an inn, is it?
GM Elle: I don't think it's every been said there are only two rooms, just that there are only two available. There are probably some long-term boarders -- townfolk who prefer the inn over a boarding house, or adventurers who've prepaid to have rooms held for them whenever they're out of town. I'll roll randomly here if you're in desperate need of the details. Looks like there are three unavailable rooms besides on top of the two you already knew about and the dormitory.
MSG: I guess I should have spoken up earlier to ask Quackers my question about sharing a room.
Heddy: What would be the going rate, then?
GM Elle: She tells you that it's 5 silver per person.
Heddy: A bit steep given my minimal funds, but I'll go ahead and give her 10 silver pieces and then smile a happy smile at Dilfriida -- nothing too forward or naughty.
Harriet: I'm going to roll Awareness to see if that gets through to Dilfriida, since Brandy hasn't mentioned rooming with me before. A 9 says it does. Dilfriida probably colors a bit awkwardly and glances to see if Dolora or Quackenscrump are reading anything into the situation.
Sasha: Quackers is busy drinking.
MSG: Dolora probably looks a little grumbly over missing out on the room. But it's an unspecific sort of grumbliness, so you don't necessarily know what it's directed at.
Harriet: I'll hope it's just her usual unspecific grumbliness then and try not to worry much more about it.
Heddy: Is there, by the way, a bath at this establishment?
GM Elle: Annabelle says that there certainly is. The rate is 6 coppers.
Heddy: I'll give an overt sidewise glance at Dilfriida and ask Annabelle if that is per bath or per bather.
Harriet: Dilfriida thinks she knows the answer to this and chimes in that Vagnhild only charged them 6 total for her and Filvius to bathe together earlier in the week.
Heddy: I'm a little surprised to hear that and probably look at Dilfriida blinkingly.
Harriet: If I notice that, I'll explain. Something along the lines of, "Yeah, I don't normally make a habit of bathing so often either, but we were covered in troll puke."
Heddy: That momentarily relaxes me, but then my eyes widen as I realize that could have indicated a ménage a troll involving a very disturbing sort of fetish. Can I roll Beast Lore to reassure myself that the scenario is not actually something to worry about?
GM Elle: Sure.
Heddy: Whew. That's a success. I'll ask Quackenscrump to please pass the ale.
Sasha: Are you thirsty enough to drink straight out of the pitcher? Annabelle just got you seated, right?
Heddy: I would definitely be willing to drink from the pitcher to wash away that embarrassing and nauseous thought.
GM Elle: Annabelle is a good server, though, so when she saw the two of you joining Dolora and Quackenscrump, she brought along two fresh mugs when she came to take your order. By the way, give yourself an experience mark on Beast Lore for "ménage a troll." Genius.
Heddy: Thank you!
GM Elle: You're welcome. Now, unless anyone wants to roleplay out more of the pre-bedtime activities, I think we can wind this session up here.
Ariel: I'm already in bedtime mode, so that's great by me.
Sasha: No objections.
Akane: Zedeja's only roleplay is the scritch-scritch of writing a spell.
Harriet: I'll go with the group's consensus, but I wasn't entirely averse to seeing where the evening would take Dilfriida and Brandywise.
Heddy: We'll just have to LARP that part on our own time, hmm?
GM Elle: Experience questions! This session may be a little slim. Everyone gets participation, and I'd say the same for giving in to your weaknesses. But no defeating a dangerous enemy or exploration of new territory.
MSG: Maybe a little exploration for Dilfriida.
Ariel: Was there even an obstacle for us to overcome without violence?
Sasha: I say we count having to stop Filvius from running off into the wilderness and getting himself lost because of that dragon.
Akane: There was much attempted stoppage, but actually, didn't all attempts fail? The solution turned out to be, an elf finally makes his saving throw.
GM Elle: I think I'm still willing to count it. There was a lot of creative use of abilities, even if most of them failed. That's three experience marks apiece, then.
MSG: I'm glad you're in the mood to be generous, because I was going to argue that Dolora at a minimum should get a mark, since her Musician ability helped Filvius make that saving throw. Then I might have gotten glared at if you gave me a mark and no one else got one.
Claire: No one would have glared, duh.
Ariel: I might have said "fooh" though.
Sasha: Eye-rolls for me. Watch, like this.
Harriet: Positively savage, Sasha.
GM Elle: Until next time, then!