the things i put up with!

now, i hope everybody knows that i wouldn't trade my boyfriend (or any of my other yams, for that matter) for anything or anyone in the world. we're pretty much as close as two people can possibly be (if not closer!) ... but the downside of that is that sometimes his little quirks and foibles rub off on me. aaaannnd some of his neuroses, too.

which is fine, really, since to start with i'm one of the chillest chicas you could ask for, so even a smidge of bad-influence neurosis still leaves me waaay more cool-as-a-cucumber-y than msg. mostly, it's kind of funny when i find myself worrying over something he would worry over that i normally wouldn't.

as long as i don't start going batso-crazy over an out-of-place comma or something, who cares, right?

but then the thing is, there's this neurosisynergy thing that happens every once in a while. it's where he's being a bad influence on me and i notice i'm being neurotic, and instead of laughing it off, i think, oh, cheez-itz, i better not let him realize he's being a bad influence or he'll feel bad about it! but of course, i only ever notice this when it's too late, and so when i start trying to exude the usual deluge of cool, i flub it just enough for him to notice. and then he starts worrying that something's wrong. but he knows that usually there's pretty much never anything wrong for me because my life rules. so he tells himself he's being paranoid. and then i notice that he's acting weird trying not to make a big deal out of something he knows can't be a big deal because if there was a big deal thing going on, he can totally bet his ass i would tell him so. but now i've noticed that he's noticed that something's off, and not only am i worried he'll find out i was succumbing* to his bad influence, i'm also embarrassed that i let him notice. plus, i'm also annoyed at myself for letting my chill go to nil. all of which means i end up doubling down and acting extra-positive instead of just spilling the beans. and that leads to him getting extra sure something is really wrong or why would i be wallowing in marshmallow-happy-sappy overcompensation?

if we're really lucky, one of our other yams will kind of look at us both and say, "you two ... do know you're doing that thing again, don't you?"

which can be pretty humiliating and get us both really red in the face, but at least breaks the spiral of neuroticism.

anyway, that's way too long of a long way of saying that this exact thing happened yesterday, except that everyone remained clueless (or pretended to really well) right up until the point where they're going to read this post and say, "aha! so that's why they've been acting so wacky!"

and we're both going to get teased mercilessly because that's how it happens around here.

but you know ... it's the price you pay for living a dream life, right?

xoxo,
claire

(*there is not nearly a big enough deal made out of how nasty this word ought to be. i mean, just pay attention to those first two syllables. they're just begging to be made a double entendre out of. i'm not wrong, am i?)