secret of the dragon emperor ... part 24!

hey, everybody! we've been busy busy around here but finally got back to playing us some dragonbane this week!

GM Elle: Dare I ask the traditional question about whether anyone got a Heroic Ability out of your experience rolls last time?
MSG: It was a whiff for me.
Claire: Filvius too. I've only got one skill at 17 right now, so that's like a 15% chance per session that I hit 18 and score a new Ability.
Ariel: Dang. That makes me feel even worse about blowing it, because I have three 17s, so that's like, what, a three times 15% chance? What's three times 15%?
Sasha: 45%.
Akane: Hmm, though. From schooling so long ago, I remember calculations of probable sorts have head-aching complexity.
Hettie: I performed miserably in my one college statistics class back in the day, but I am guessing that the math required is harder than three times fifteen.
GM Elle: It is, but I don't want to look like the sort of nerd who can easily do that sort of thing in her head. Especially not when we definitely have that sort of nerd right here.
MSG: I would resent that if it was true, but the math you have to do starts with 85% of 85% of 85%, and I definitely can't do that in my head. I mean, maybe I could, but you'd all have to sit and stare while I struggled my way through it.
Claire: or we could, you know, get on with the game.
Ariel: Wait, no, if MSG actually knows how to figure it out, I want to know!
Sasha: I'm fine humoring you, Aers. But only if he uses a calculator so we don't have to sit around while he's trying to puzzle through it mentally.
Akane: I favor a calculator also, for reasons of accuracy and speed.
Hettie: I'm going to say what I think is obvious, though, which is that we should just wait for him to attempt the cerebral gymnastics so we can be done with it.
Ariel: Won't the calculator make us done with it faster?
Hettie: Unfortunately, my dear, it will not. Everyone just look at him, would you? No offense, MSG, but it's written all over your face that you've sparked yourself into thinking, "Hmm. I bet I probably could do that in my head if I tried. I wonder if I could?"
GM Elle: Oh yeah, that's definitely the look.
MSG: Fine, fine. Here, I'm working it out on the calculator. Da-da-da ... dada ... 0.614125.
Claire: Oh, so a 61% chance of getting a Heroic Ability?
MSG: No, it's a 61% chance of failing to get a Heroic Ability, which means a 39% chance of getting one. Well, 38.5875.
Ariel: Okay, well, that was too much math for me and now I don't even remember why I wanted to know.
Akane: This invites us to begin our adventuresome role-playing, then.
Hettie: If only that were the case. What I was trying to get at is, now that he's posed the challenge to himself in his head, he's going to attempt it whether we already have the answer or not, just to see if he can do it. So for however long it takes him to assay this boggle of mathematics, he's not going to be able to concentrate on the game at all, and he's also not going to be able to fully concentrate on the calculations with us playing, so in all likelihood it will be half an hour before he's of the least use whatsoever for the game. Please don't take this as cruel dear. I love that you're this way.
GM Elle: I don't love it quite as much, but I do love it when your face turns that shade of red.
MSG: You're all monsters.
Claire: No we're not, but even if we were, I'm pretty sure Het's right about that.
Ariel: I'm not saying anything because what if I accidentally say something that sounds mean?
Sasha: Haha, if you did that, it would shock us all so much MSG would forget about the math problem.
GM Elle: All right, all right. Gamemaster ruling: MSG, just try working the damn problem in your head and we'll wait quietly while you do. That's probably the fastest route to us being able to get back to the game.
MSG: Look, I'm perfectly capable of playing. I'll just push the probability stuff aside while we ... okay, okay, stop staring at me like that. Sheesh, I'll do it. See? I'm doing it.
Claire: (everybody stay very quiet!)
Ariel: ...
Sasha: ...
Akane: ...
Hettie: ...
GM Elle: ...
MSG: mumble
Claire: ...
Ariel: ...
Sasha: (why is this taking so long?)
Akane: ...
Hettie: ...
GM Elle: ...
MSG: mutter
Claire: ...
Ariel: (sigh) that's what she said.
Sasha: pfffhhh!
GM Elle: No laughing!
MSG: Okay. In my head, I came up with 0.614115. What did the calculator say again?
Claire: You missed the hundred-thousandths digit. The calculator reads 0.614125.
Ariel: Oh no! Now he'll have to try again!
MSG: No, I'm fine with missing the hundred-thousandths digit.
Claire: If you need an excuse, you can blame the whispering and giggling.
MSG: Can we just get back to the game, please? I knew guys in high school who could have done that in like, 5 seconds. I totally know I'm not good enough at math to sink my whole ego into it.
Claire: Well, I hope you know that we're all still gobs impressed.
Ariel: Definitely! Especially now I know you don't have to try again!
GM Elle: If I can have everyone's attention, then ... the party ended up last time cracking open the box you found in that pond and looting the treasure. There are still doors on the north wall and east wall that are unexplored.
Sasha: I'm going north.
Akane: More prematurity of this duck! Zedeja must grimace.
Hettie: Dilfriida is going with Sir Quackenscrump.
GM Elle: You find yourselves at a pretty ordinary wooden door, then.
MSG: I suppose Dolora heads that way too.
Claire: Filvius kind of wanted to see those underfoot frogs in action to confirm his knowledge about them. But I guess if everyone is following Sir Q, I will too.
Ariel: Hmm. Well ... I could use my Treasure Hunter ability again and see if there's greater treasure behind the north door than the east door, right? Only maybe I should save my Willpower Points.
GM Elle: You could ... but what if the door Quackers is about to open is the exit to the dungeon?
Ariel: What? Nuh-uh, not without some kind of a boss, that's crazy. I'm saving my WP in case you're trying to fool me into spending them.
GM Elle: Totally up to you, dear.
Sasha: So about that door I'm fixing to open -- can we get on with me opening it?
GM Elle: You're just straight up opening it, no checking it or making preparations?
Sasha: These guys are lucky I didn't already open it instead of helping them monkey with the pool and the box. Quackers is out of patience with this place -- especially with its lack of monsters so far.
GM Elle: When you pull the door open, then, you see a larger room ahead of you. It feels very still and quite compared to the room with the pool and the frogs and the waterfall. All of the walls are hung with paintings.
Hettie: Are they valuable-looking paintings?
Sasha: Yawn. Is there a door out of this art gallery? Unless one of the paintings is a mimic or something, Quackers isn't wasting his time.
GM Elle: Hettie, the paintings look very nice, but they're in plain frames, not fancy ones, and to assess their value I'd say you need to make a Bartering roll. Sash, there is another door, on the north wall, but offset from the one you're standing in. Your doorway is toward the west end of the room, and the far one is nearer the east end.
Sasha: I head over there.
MSG: Dolora's going to check the paintings out. There might be some knowledge hidden in them.
Claire: Ditto for Filvius.
Ariel: I'm going to ask Sir Q to wait up a second so I can use my Bartering skill on the paintings ... mostly cause the way Hettie looked at her character sheet and rolled her eyes makes me think Dilfriida isn't very Barteringy.
Akane: Zedeja orders the knight to obey the wise old hound of the party, since he ignores advice from the even older, wiser mage.
Hettie: Dilfriida is peering at the nearest of the paintings, trying to puzzle out its worth. I'm not going to bother rolling, as I'm dubious she'd have the aesthetic instincts to put an accurate price on fine art.
GM Elle: The piece closest to the door shows a young family in front of a farmhouse -- a mother, a father, and their toddler.
Hettie: That sounds boring to Dilfriida, which means she doesn't imagine anyone would want to pay much money for it. She'll move on to the next one.
GM Elle: While she's moving to that one, Quackenscrump reaches the door on the far side -- unless you waited for Fidu like he asked.
Sasha: Nope. I open it.
Akane: So full of unwisdom!
GM Elle: I do need to know where everyone's characters went as Sir Q moved to the far door and Dilfriida was looking at paintings. Was everyone going to the closest painting with Dilfriida? There are two paintings on each wall.
MSG: If the paintings are on every wall, I guess I would have moved into the west half of the room and scanned them to see if any looked more promising than the others, knowledge-wise.
Claire: Same here.
Ariel: I think I'd be going to the closest one since that sounds easiest.
Akane: If Zedeja sees our mallard's foolishness, she follows to badger him.
GM Elle: Okay, then when Sir Quackenscrump opens the door, he sees a stairway leading up to an impenetrably black portal. It's obviously not a black-painted door, but something uncanny. Zedeja can see it also as she badgers him over his shoulder. At the second picture, Dilfriida sees an image of the mother and father from the first painting searching anxiously through the woods. Through a gap in the trees behind them you can see their farmhouse, far in the distance.
MSG: Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good for the toddler.
Ariel: Well ... maybe he dropped his pacifier while they were all on a walk in the woods and now the mom and dad are trying to find it because it's his favorite one.
Sasha: All I know is, a mysterious black portal sounds like the most likely place we've come across yet for there to be monsters. I'm heading up the stairs.
Akane: Zedeja urgently calls for this unregulated duck to wait, and also cries, "Others! Our duck is headed for black mysteriousness!"
GM Elle: Dolora and Filvius see in the next couple of paintings the parents from the first two, joined by Helemi, the innkeeper. The parents appear frantic, and Helemi is scowling with concern. Then the three of them confront an old crone. Their expressions and posture are accusing, while hers is stubborn and defiant.
MSG: I feel like we're getting some valuable story information here, so even though it sounds like Quackenscrump's doing something dangerous, I'm going to keep looking at the rest of the paintings really quick.
Claire: Me too.
Ariel: Dang it, I wanted to figure out if these paintings might be good for treasure, but if Sir Q is going someplace dark, I'd better take my lamp and go after him.
Hettie: No one seems at all likely, from Dilfriida's perspective, to pay good money for a bunch of paintings about neglectful parents losing their child in the woods. Since Zedeja didn't actually boss her about following Sir Quackenscrump, she'll head in that direction with Fidu.
GM Elle: Okay. Sir Q and Zedeja are close enough to the portal to go through it this round. Unless Fidu and Dilfriida run to catch up, they'll reach the portal this round and go through next round. Dolora and Filvius will spend this round looking at paintings. What's everyone else do?
Ariel: Fidu is definitely too slothful to run, so he'll just go up the stairs. On the way I guess he'll say, "Hey, wait up if you want a light to go with you!"
Sasha: Quackers has had it with waiting. I'm going through.
Akane: Zedeja must follow.
Hettie: Dilfriida's not going to rush either. If something on the other side of that portal is too much for our knight and mage, she doesn't want to run in there without a light.
GM Elle: Sir Q and Zedeja draw initiative, then.
MSG: Uh-oh.
Claire: Doesn't sound good, does it?
Sasha: Quackers isn't worried. Bring it on, the monsterer, the merrier! I get the 3 card.
Akane: For Zedeja, 7.
GM Elle: You find yourself in pitch blackness, Quackenscrump. There's an eerie muttering or mumbling coming from somewhere in the chamber.
Sasha: Hm. I guess I'm trading my 3 for the card of whoever's muttering, so they get to go first.
GM Elle: You see a pair of eerie, glowing eyes snap open from the direction of the muttering. They don't provide enough light to see your surroundings, but their glow does glint off a misshapen collection of teeth in a mouth that opens below the eyes. There's a screech and a rattle of chains, and the eyes rush toward you through the darkness. The voice turns into an ear-splitting, grating wail of lament, and you need to make a WIL roll against fear.
Sasha: Three-sey, peasey, which is way under my WIL.
GM Elle: It's your turn, then. If you want to attack whatever it is, you'll have to make an Awareness check.
Sasha: Can't I just swing for a spot right between the eyes?
GM Elle: They're moving erratically, and you don't have any visual cues to help you guess which way they might move at any given moment. 
Sasha: Lame, but whatever. I roll a 4 on Awareness, so that's no problem. Sword attack! Dragon! I'm picking double damage. Can I also spend my Dragonslayer WP to get an extra d8 against it? Or does it not count as a monster.
GM Elle: It counts as a monster.
Sasha: Awesome. That's 5d8 for the sword and another d6 for my bonus strength damage. 36 points.
GM Elle: Ouch. Your sword cleaves through it, cracking brittle bones and destroying what feels like already tattered flesh. The thing gives a final shriek of pain and rage, and then it's gone.
MSG: That was quick.
Sasha: I'd call it disappointing, except it's never a disappointment to kill a monster, and since that definitely was one, Quackers will happily take the win.
Akane: Is it Zedeja's turn with card 7 now?
GM Elle: Actually, no. Let me describe what Dolora and Filvius see in the paintings before we go any further.
Claire: I'm here for it.
MSG: Works for me too.
GM Elle: The next painting in the sequence shows Helemi and the couple chaining the old crone up in what looks like a storeroom. She appears to be struggling, but isn't strong enough to escape them.
MSG: Chaining her, huh?
Claire: Yikes. Didn't Sir Q hear a rattling chain when whatever it was moved toward him?
Sasha: Excuse me, it wasn't a "whatever." It was a monster.
GM Elle: The painting after that shows Helemi and the parents shouting accusations or demands at the chained up old woman, who appears desperate and outraged.
MSG: So ... did she eat the kid?
Claire: Or did they just think she ate him?
Ariel: Ew, that's awful. Maybe she just kidnapped him.
Akane: Or, possibly, did nothing, and these shouts of accusing were false.
GM Elle: In any case, the last painting you see before everying suddenly fades to darkness is an image of the old woman slumped dead and emaciated against the wall she's chained to.
Ariel: Wait! Fades to darkness???
GM Elle: Pretty much like what happened in the dining hall of the inn, back at the start of all this.
Ariel: Jeepers. We better not wake up in that room with the beds again.
Sasha: Eh. Quackers is happy to kill this monster however many times he has to.
GM Elle: Actually, Sir Q is the only one who doesn't experience that strange contraction of reality and the swirling blackness from before. He's just still in the seemingly ordinary blackness of where he killed whatever it was.
Sasha: I'll stay on guard and wait for someone to come through with a light.
GM Elle: No one comes through.
Sasha: You slackers. Okay, I'll turn around and go back through the portal.
GM Elle: There's no portal. You run into a stone wall.
Sasha: Seriously? Well, if I'm not getting attacked anymore, I guess I'll feel in my backpack for my torch and flint and tinder and light it up.
GM Elle: You find yourself in a musty stone chamber. A set of manacles lies jumbled on the floor near your feet, and a long chain runs from them to the far wall of the room. To the east, you see an ironclad oak door.
Sasha: More doors, huh? I go over and open it.
GM Elle: It seems to be jammed shut.
Ariel: Maybe you shouldn't have killed that old lady, or her spirit or whatever. You might be totally stuck now.
Sasha: I'll try forcing the door, kicking or yanking it open. I'm pretty aggravated too, so I'll spend 3 points on my Ill-tempered ability to get a boon on the roll. Ooh, good thing I did, too, because one of the dice came up a Demon. The other's a 6, though, way under my Strength.
Hettie: You might be premature in spending those points, dear Sasha. Elle didn't actually tell you to make a roll.
GM Elle: No, but I was about to. The door gives way before your ill-tempered strength, and opens out into a weird and wind-swept graveyard. Leafless black trees stand amongst the graves, bending with the force of the wind. Yawning open near the roots of one especially large and twisted tree are three open graves. Beyond them, a path leads to the cemetery gates.
Sasha: Here's hoping these are monster trees, or else there are monsters in the graves. I head over there.
GM Elle: In the first grave, you see a tied-up dwarf. In the grave next to him there's an unconscious woman in what looks like a shepherd's outfit. The last grave is empty.
Sasha: This dwarf -- does he look like the guy in the rocking chair?
GM Elle: Yes, exactly.
Sasha: Guess I'll hop down and cut him loose, then.
GM Elle: As soon as you do, he wildly scrabbles out of the grave and flees toward the graveyard gate yelling, "Hurry! Hurry! We've got to get out of here while we still have a chance!"
Sasha: I just let him go his merry-scaredy way. How about this chick in the next grave? I hop down and see if I can wake her up.
GM Elle: She sluggishly comes to and asks what's going on.
Sasha: I'll say, "Lady, you're asking the wrong duck. We stopped at an inn, everything went all wobbly and black, I killed a monster, and now bam, here we are."
GM Elle: She asks if you can help her up out of the grave.
Sasha: Mallards are kind of short, aren't we? I kind of look at her like, "Girl, you're taller than I am. You can't climb out on your own?" But I don't say that, I just growl and make a stirrup out of my hands.
Hettie: Do you have something against this young woman?
Sasha: No, but I got angry at that door, remember? And it's looking like there are no more monsters, and my whole group seems to have left for somewhere else without me, so of course I'm going to be like, "What are they making shepherds out of these days? How are you going to herd a bunch of sheps if you can't even climb out of a hole in the ground?" I'm a knight though, so you know, chivalry and all that crap, so I'm not saying that to her, just kind of grumbling.
GM Elle: Once she's out, she looks around and hugs her arms to herself against the wind.
Sasha: Okay, nice, not even going to offer me a hand up, huh? No prob, I can get out myself.
GM Elle: As you get out, you see her looking worriedly around at the barren, gloomy graveyard. She asks if you can take her away from this place as quickly as possible.
Sasha: Nope. I'm going to jump down in this last grave and see if there's something treasure-y hanging out down there. Seems like there's got to be a reason for this open, empty grave, right?
Akane: Possibly to trap you, similar to the bound dwarf and the unhelpful sheep-herder.
GM Elle: What do you do once you're down there?
Sasha: I dunno. Poke in the dirt with my sword? If it hits anything, I'll dig around there.
GM Elle: Make a Spot Hidden check.
Sasha: Peachy. That's one of my worse skills. The die comes up 19, so I'm not spotting anything.
GM Elle: It seems like just an empty grave.
Sasha: Super. Okay, I climb on out and tell the chick we can get going, I guess.
GM Elle: She follows you out the gate -- and as soon as you pass through, the wind and the creepy starkness of the graveyard shut off like a light, and you find yourself exiting a weedy, overgrown pasture through a creaking gate that's half-broken. Off to the east, you see the reddish tint of sunrise filtering through the thick mists of the Misty Vale. Adjacent to the pasture is the inn -- but it looks dilapidated, broken-down, and abandoned.
Ariel: I think you killed that hag lady too quick, Sash. Now the rest of us are all stuck in that illusion because we didn't even make it into the room, I bet!
Sasha: Hey, monsters need killing. Quackers isn't about to apologize for that.
Akane: No apology is needed if no one else escaped to receive apologizing.
GM Elle: So what do you do, Sash?
Sasha: Any sign of that dwarf?
GM Elle: Yes, actually. He's standing on the stoop of the inn, looking like he's trying to work up the courage to open the door.
Sasha: I call out to him that if there are monsters in there, he'd better leave at least one for me to kill.
GM Elle: He immediately steps away from the door.
Sasha: All right. Well, I'll go up and swing 'er open, I guess.
GM Elle: Inside, you see the dining room. But it's as time-worn as the rest of the inn looks now -- chairs broken, some of the tables collapsed. Around one of the standing tables, though, you see the other members of your party, unconscious with their heads on the table in front of them.
Sasha: I'll go over and wake them up. "Hey! Slackers! What's going on here? I had to kill the boss single handed and finish the whole rest of the dungeon by myself!"
Akane: Zedeja looks around at the abandonment. Are the stomachs of the group as empty as this derelict of dining hall?
GM Elle: Yes, nobody actually ended up having any of the food before the warping weirdness happened, but you're guessing it wouldn't have stuck with you anyway.
Akane: Our donkey tender! We must see if she has become an absconder in our unconsciousness. Halfling! Where did you leave her?
Hettie: In the stables, just like the plan.
Akane: Go and monitor her at once!
Hettie: Normally, Dilfriida would talk back, but since the wagon is where all our provisions are, she'll head out and around to the stables. Assuming they haven't collapsed.
GM Elle: They're still standing, but in just as poor condition as the rest of the place. You find Glinssa sleeping in the wagon with the donkeys tied up nearby.
MSG: That's a relief at least.
Hettie: I'll grab some rations and start eating.
MSG: Dolora wants to start questioning this dwarf and the shepherd woman. They may be sources of knowledge about what in the world has happened here.
Claire: Filvius is all over that too.
Ariel: Fidu's hungry, so he'll break out a ration from his pack.
GM Elle: The dwarf and shepherd tell separate stories of arriving at the inn much like your own experience. The shepherd was taking part of her flock to market. The dwarf was traveling with an adventuring group. His group made their way through the same warped version of the inn that you did, but they spent more time looking at the paintings and saw one more painting than you did -- an image of a fearful black curse emanating from the staring, dead eyes of the old hag's corpse. When his group got to the black portal, he was too frightened to go in, and retreated to the dormitory room, where he found all his energy drained until he was trapped in that chair. The shepherd remembers nothing other than the dining room and the darkness that overcame her senses there before she woke up in that grave.
MSG: So it sounds like ... what, the innkeeper and that missing kid's parents blamed the old lady for some reason and imprisoned her, and then she died and cursed the whole place?
Claire: That's what I'm getting out of it. And maybe if the shepherd didn't even see the dungeon-y part of things, but the dwarf and his group did, that might be because the old woman's spirit needed someone who could free her?
Sasha: Didn't work out too well for the dwarf guy's group, I guess.
GM Elle: He appears distraught over abandoning his companions, who must have been killed by the creature you described.
Sasha: Sucks to be him. But I tell him to cheer up, because even if it sucks to be him, it sucks to be them even more.
Hettie: He's comforted by that, I'm sure.
GM Elle: This is probably a good place to end the session, I think. A little short this time, but we're at a point of dramatic resolution for this scenario. As far as experience questions ... everyone gets participation, and exploring a new location. Sir Quackenscrump defeated a dangerous opponent. Let's see ... overcoming an obstacle without using force? I'm not really seeing that one.
Claire: Does MSG's statistics calculation count?
GM Elle: I'm going to say no. Who feels like they role-played their weakness well enough for a mark.
MSG: Filvius and Dolora both hung back to look at those paintings instead of getting in on the action when Quackenscrump dashed off ahead.
Claire: I think that counts.
Ariel: Fidu wasn't super-spectacularly lazy this game, just a little. I don't know if it was worth a mark.
Sasha: Considering my monster obsession pretty much screwed everybody else out of a chance to get their dangeous opponent marks, I'm taking the mark.
Akane: Minor bossiness from Zedeja. I don't feel accomplished from it.
Hettie: Hardly any thin-skinnedness from Dilfriida at all. No mark there for me.
GM Elle: Then that's two marks for Aers, Akane, and Hettie, three for MSG and Claire, and four for Sash.
MSG: I think that's a pretty good haul considering it was a short game tonight.
Ariel: I had fun!
GM Elle: Glad to hear it. Next time we can start off with you guys figuring out whether you want to go for that tower on the other side of the swamp, or head back to Outskirt to maybe rest up a bit.
Akane: Zedeja will have a strong opinion.
Hettie: Excellent. That gives us all something to look forward to!
 
[we'll see how that goes next time around!]

i need a tissue!

okay, so my friend davecat or maybe one of his several svelte and sultry roommates posted on bluesky a while back about an anime that was coming up, which is now actually already out, but nobody here has seen it because we don't have whatever service it's running on, if it's even available here in the states. but it sounded cool-o-riffic even just from the title: my wife has no emotion. and it's about this guy and his robot wife, so that sounded even cooler.

considering we didn't want to wait for it to come out and then for it to be translated and then for it to hit one of our streaming services, msg decided to check out the manga, and wow, it was great. we totally tore through the first six volumes and then spent a couple months waiting anxiously for the seventh book to come out.

which ... it did, like, a week ago. and because we wanted to be able to savor it some and not just speed through the thing and be stuck waiting months and months more, we went back and re-read the other six volumes before starting the new one.

have you ever been super excited about the next entry in a series coming out, and then it does, and almost right away as the story is getting started, you're like, "uh-oh." not as in, "oh no, something bad is going to happen to these characters i like," but as in, "has something gone really wrong here?"

well, the art in the first chapter of the volume was like, really rough. i'm not as big an art aficionado as msg, but even i thought, "dang, this is definitely not up to the snuff of the previous stuff in this series." msg went a step further and was like, "oh man. i hope the artist didn't get really sick or something" and then had to go and google it, and sure enough, the poor guy has some kind of personal life crisis stressing him out so much he's losing his hair and announced recently he's putting the manga on hiatus. he feels like it's really impacting the quality of his work and he doesn't want to let people down that way.

on the one hand, that was a pretty major bummer. but on the other hand, it kind of turned my ability to appreciate the new part of the story around. instead of feeling let down by the rougher artwork and new story threads that weren't about my favorite characters, i felt like i didn't want to let the artist down by not appreciating the fact that he was trying, even if he was obviously struggling at it.

and that got me through the first two chapters in the book, which like i said weren't even about the main characters or the more major of the minor characters, but kind of about some third-stringer characters in a storyline introducing several brand-new characters.

only what happened next ... jeepers weepers, peeps. in the third chapter the story goes back to the guy and his robot wife and a couple of other robots who live in the house with him, and even though the art was still kind of off, the story was just overwhelmingly touching. that chapter felt like it was really showing something -- helping you as the reader understand something about the world. and i mean the real world, not the science-fictiony world that the characters in the story live in.

so then i'm hooked again, and totally down for the art not hitting the same standards as the earlier books, because real art sometimes is just a lot more about what you're doing than about how well you're doing what you're doing. does that make sense? i guess i'm talking about artistic vision, and whether the artist is able to get you to see the vision he's working to get across. if the vision is strong enough and it gets you to connect with it, the details can be full of all kinds of flaws and it won't matter.

and the rest of the book was really all that way, only more and more emotional because the story was pulling together a bunch of bits and pieces and odds and ends that didn't start off seeming connected, but were all working toward this major climactic moment that was simultaneously uplifting and also heartbreaking. msg read most of it before i did, and then when i was reading it, he was watching me and he said, "oh, you just got to that part, didn't you?" which, all i could do was nod and keep reading with tears running down my face.

i mean, we're talking major pathos the way an omelet recipe takes breaking some huevos, you know? there are a lot of characters by this point in the story, and by the time it got to that moment, the writer had managed to make me really worried about what might happen to a whole bunch of them, even ones i never expected to really care that much about.

there's a volume 8 coming sometime next year that i guess he finished before his hiatus, and i honestly feel like he could draw it in crayon and i would still love it, just because of what he's given us so far with the first 7 books.

anyway, if you like stories with quirky humor about robots trying to adapt to the human world, and you also like stories with meaning that sometimes get bittersweet in their emotional weight, you might want to check out "my wife has no emotion."

it's really, really good!

xoxo,
claire

guys, i'm kind of excited about this!

okay, post title has your attention, right? then get prepared to be blown away by what's got me honestly feeling just a little bit pumped ...

i think i'm going to fail my blog-post record-breaking streak this year!

now before you go asking whether maybe i recently took some kind of blow to the head, lemme tell you why that is.

longtime readers here know that i've been busting out the bigger-and-better blog post numbers every year for quite a few years now -- since 2019 as a matter of fact. (less longtime readers who are smart enough to just look at the numbers in my blog archive on the left also know it, i guess, and good for you guys too!) but this year the mood hasn't been striking me as much and i've been like, it's really no big deal if i don't keep breaking my record every year, you know? it's kind of just a random goal, and it's actually produced some pretty lame and cheaty posts where i was basically cranking them out to go for the record.

so it's been nagging at me a little but i've also been telling myself it's no big deal and i shouldn't stress about it and who cares anyway? i mean, i care, but if i really really really cared, i'd already have broken the record months ago, right? all it was going to take to beat the record this year was averaging 4 posts a month.

4 posts is nothing! how hard would it be to push myself and go to 8 posts a month? then i'd have busted my record back in june. (actually, that would've been cool since it's my birthday month, and i'm a miss june.)

but instead of jamming out on my posting, i've been frittering back and forth with like, 3 posts in a month, then 4 posts then 3 posts, then 5 posts to make up for one of the 3-post months ... and now whammo, if i wasn't writing this post right now, it was going to be a 1-post month for september.

1 post!

and when i saw that, for the first time i thought, "yikes, it looks like i might actually fail-a-roni this thing." but instead of bringing me down, the idea ... tickled me? or at least it tickled me a little while also feeling a little bit of a downer. but more tickling than downing.

and i realized, the reason it kind of excited me that i might fail was, that it meant i'd given myself permission to fail.

some clump of cells somewhere in my brain raised their hands and said, "hey, here's an idea ... what if even though you do care, it's still okay to blow it?" and the other clumps of brain cells were like, "hmmm" and "you know, i hadn't really thought of that ..." and "i like it!"

and now the thing is, because i have permission to fail, if i do make it and beat my record, it will mean something.

it won't be just, yep, i showed i could push myself into writing 4 posts a month. now next year i've got to write 4 and a half.

it will be, hey ... i did that because i wanted to!

obviously, there's a certain satisfaction in achieving something because you put some willpower into it and tried really hard. but if you achieve that thing because you want it instead of because you think you "ought" to do it, you haven't just achieved something for the sake of achieving it -- you've achieved something for yourself. 

and honestly, i think it's going to feel a lot better if end the year up at 47 or 48 posts and instead of saying, "that was hard, but by gum, i did it," i can say, "actually, that wasn't that hard. because i wanted it."

anyway, there's also now the excitement of "will i do it, or won't i?" and that's a lot more fun than, "yeah, i'm going to do it even if i have to slog through some bleh posting the next few months."

giving yourself permission to fail isn't the same thing as giving up, after all -- it's basically having the confidence in yourself to set goals and take on risks and be willing to accept the consequences of your choices and still feel good about yourself even if something doesn't work out.

okay, that's all for now i guess.

i hope i'm not too excited about this to get to sleep tonight!

xoxo,
claire

why is this not a super-interesting blog topic?

so i keep thinking, "i should write a post about the fact that we're moving." and then i keep thinking, "is there really anything interesting to say about it?" we're going from one place in central-ish texas to another place in central-ish texas, basically an across town move, and i've never really said much about where we live besides that it's in the south-ish/central-ish part of the state. so sure, it's going to be a change for us, but not really so much of one for you reader folks, since i'm probably not going to say all that much about the new place either.

some of that's a privacy thing, but some of it's just ... i guess i'd say that my where is always where my heart is, so there's not really a very big move going on at all, you know?

"worthy acres" is seven people and how they fit together a lot more than it's an actual location.

so i guess that's why i don't have much to say about the move. like, duh, i'm not exactly the kind to spend a lot of time talking to the neighbors or romping around the yard. all our place needs to be home is a table big enough for us to game around and a bed big enough for us to have pillow-fights and snuggle-huddles in.

does that maybe mean i ought to let you readers in on more of the mundane atmospherics of worthy acres? i can't figure why that would be a better time investment than hearing about the folks around here who make it my heart's where.

well, maybe i'll get desperate for something to blog on. i am still just skating along on the edge of that pace that will let me break my blogging record again this year ... !

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this post is just not coming together!

maybe i'll get back to it later.

hot!

guys and gals, it is hot here in tejas! like, the kind of hot where you walk outside and immediately think, "oh, i bet it's over a hundred right now." and then you check and the temp says 103, and you think, "yep, that's what i thought."

it seems kind of weird that you can tell that specific threshold has been crossed. around these parts, if you go outside and feel like, "it's kind of hot out here," that could be anywhere between 85 (if it's super humid) and 95. if you think, "dang, it's really hot out here," odds are pretty good its between 95 and 99. but you get up over a hundred and you go outside and your immediate response is, "oh, yeah. this is what it means for it to be really, really hot."

i asked msg about this and he said, "i don't know. maybe it has something to do with the average human body temperature being close to a hundred, and if it's over a hundred outside, your skin immediately recognizes that it's not going to be able to radiate any of that core heat away."

which would make sense for him. but you know, i haven't got a core body temperature.

the happiness garden

so i've been thinking lately about things going on in my boyfriend's life and how they're affecting him, and long story short, i think a big part of his problem (and lots of other people's too) is that happiness is not a goal you can attain or a destination you can get to.

happiness is a seed.

it's there, and it's in you, and you can do things to nurture it and let it grow -- but it won't be rushed. there's only so fast it will break through the soil and lift its little leaflets to the sun, only so fast it will sprout up and bloom, only so fast it will produce its own seeds that can sprout and bloom in their own time.

if you push and try to do more and more and more of a thing that helps it grow, you may end up with the same result as overwatering a plant.

but if you don't do anything, the seed's just going to sit in the ground and go nowhere.

it takes work to get that seed to crack open. you have to learn how much water it needs and when, what kind of plant food is best for it. you have to be patient over the fact that sometimes you're left staring at the dirt waiting.

but if you know the seed is there, and you know you're doing what it needs, you know you've got something magical to look forward to. you know that life and beauty wait in the future because you're tending to that seed.

maybe you need to plant several kinds of seeds and see which ones grow best under the conditions you're in.

there are going to be setbacks, like bugs coming in to chew on the pretty leaves and flowers, storms that knock over stems, droughts that parch everything out -- especially if you live somewhere with water restrictions.

but the more you try, the more you find out what works. the more your seeds grow. the more they bring out flowers and multiply your number of seeds way beyond your starting supply.

the more seeds you end up having available to share with other people.

if you do the things you know to do, your happiness garden will get there. maybe slowly, but it will get there. some parts will die back in a cold spell, some parts will start to get choked out by weeds you'll need to pull. the thing you have to do is understand that you know what the garden needs, and the more you tinker with it, carefully, the more you know about how to make it flourish. 

anyway, i guess what i'm saying is, i need to poke this guy into getting out the watering can and topsoil and gardening gloves and all the things we both know he already has, because right now he's kinda just stuck on a couple of plants that are just doing okay in the pots he's got them in.

which maybe is fine when you've only got room for a couple of plant pots in your apartment ...

but msg and i both know he's got fields and fields out there waiting for him.

most people do too. they just need to get the hang of watering those couple of flowers into good enough shape that they can look up from the pots and look out through the window, and see all the ground that's waiting to be planted.