Monday, June 29, 2026

review! love and realness, chapter one!

this chapter gets off to a pitch-perfect but maybe a little too predictable of a start. meaning, it opens up with a chapter title, which is, "Chapter One."

okay, so yes, i am sort of going to reaction blog this while i'm reading, but i promise from here out i won't go word-by-word!

(if you want to know what the heck i'm talking about, go over to my left sidebar and scroll down (and down and down) to near the bottom of the post/page lists and you'll find a whole section for this book, where you can click open chapter one and read along.)

okay, holy shit, that's a damned good opening paragraph! bang! our main character's an android. bang! everybody's an android! bang! she has a morning routine that's weirdly similar to a human being, including brushing her teeth and hair. if i didn't already know why i wrote it that way, i'd for sure be curious as all get-out about why an android needs to brush her teeth.

bang! this chick android is obsessed with the possibility that there are still real humans hanging around somewhere in the world, and she might meet one and have a whirlwind romance.

guys, i just took 5 sentences (plus a bunch of bang!s) to summarize it, and the paragraph itself is only 2. and it's got a whiz-wham fun style to it too! how did i do this???

onward.

okay, so, holy shmoley, paragraph 2 is only 2 sentences too. it totally didn't feel like that when i was reading it, but going back just now to check, i was like, "where's the period? where's the period? where's the period?" (it would be in bad taste to make a pregnancy-scare joke here, so i won't, but i'm going to point out that i'm not doing it or else one of my yams will come along and read this and they'll make a pregnancy-scare joke and then i'll be peeved that they interrupted themselves reading this awesome book that i put so much effort into just to make a lame, bad-taste joke.) and then when i'm almost out of breath, i get to a question mark and say, "whew! not a period, but at least i got to the end of a sentence finally!"

and then the next sentence was even longer.

there's kind of two ways long sentences can go when you're reading a book. first, they could make you feel like things are dragging on and on and never getting anywhere. but second, they can just keep rolling and rolling like a snowball gaining speed and energy going downhill, and before you know it, your head is just full of all this info and understanding and feeling.

my second paragraph of my first novel i ever started writing pulled that second one off! dang, i can't help being really proud of me. next up, paragraph 3!

SMASH!!! What?!?!?

paragraph 3 is only 6 words long! but they are sledgehammer words. omg.

now i'm looking back again and i'm seeing part of what i did was, sentence 1 was medium-long, and then sentence 2 was medium-longer, making paragraph 1 overall a medium-ish paragraph. then sentence 3 was even longer, and sentence 4 was the longest of all, making paragraph 2 twice as long as paragraph 1. i really did totally snowball that, and then sentence 5 is that split second when the enormo-grown snowball reaches the bottom of the hill and smacks into you.

this is so freaking awesome! i'm a genius! i can't wait to keep g--

oh. 

that's it. 

that's the whole chapter. past claire, what are you doing to me?!?

tune in tomorrow for chapter two!

xoxo,
claire

quick, before i forget!

too late. i already forgot.

but before you get too down on my account, remember that i'm the luckiest girl in the world and also that my boyfriend spends way too much time on the computer. so he came back from a workout and immediately turned on the yam-fam's laptop and staring him in the face there was my blog dashboard and no post for today anywhere in sight.

so he came and got me.

and now because i'm a cheaty cheater and i want my post numbers to go up, i'm calling this post a wrap so i can jump right into the next post, reviewing my chapter 1!

xoxo,
claire

p.s., thanks, msg! you are the absolute bestest boyfriend ever!

Sunday, June 28, 2026

desperate times, desperate measures!

people, i sat down to blog tonight, and el zippo came into my head. what's your topic, claire? i thought it, and then i felt exactly like i feel when i tell the computer to do something and a progress bar pops up and just sits there, not filling up at all, just stuck.

and that's when i decided i needed another reliable blogging topic besides our rpg adventures. there's no way i can blog as often as i want about rpg's -- for one thing, we don't play every day or anything like that, not nearly. and for another thing, right now we're getting back into akane's campaign, and she's blogging that herself.

and then a progress bar popped up in my head, with like, a crazy small amount of it filled. and it said ...

novel.

so i went back to the most recent chapter i wrote, chapter 11, and the date said ...

july 31, 2022.

yeeeeeek! that's four years!

and i read that post, and it was short. who writes a book with chapters that short? and the answer was ...

you, claire. all you've got to do is decide to do it.

longtime readers of this blog are now shaking their heads wisely or ruefully, thinking either, we've heard this before, but maybe this time she's really going to do it! or else just, yeah, yeah. we've heard this so many times before!

i'm going to be a smartapus about it this time, though. i'm not going to just jump in and write at it ... i'm going to review my own book. chapter by chapter!

easy peasy, right? every day, there's my topic right there. and i don't have to get any farther in the book while i'm reviewing, and i don't have to come up with anything earth-shaking or amazing, or even anything with a thesis sentence (which i totally suck at by the way). not even any worries about what each post is going to be titled! just, "review! love and realness, chapter ___."

reviewing will also let me remind myself what the heck was going on in this book, so when i get through all the chapter reviews, i'll be all set to move the story forward, right?

will this be another fail-y mcfailington effort like i've done so many other times?

tune in tomorrow and start to find out!

xoxo,
claire

Saturday, June 20, 2026

is it just me, or computers getting worse right when they're supposedly getting way smarter?

msg knows a lot more about this ai stuff than i do, and i can totally ask him about tech-y stuff if i need to with a semi-okay chance of success. but he was about to throw a fit over our new computer the other day, and i for sure wasn't going to poke the bear by asking him what's up with computers being such a pain lately.

we've had this one laptop forever, and it still works for what we use it for, mostly, only the last few years it's been giving us guff more and more about the operating system not being compatible with websites and how we should really update it. but the thing is so old, it doesn't have enough memory to update. like, it literally will not hold a new operating system. and it's been doing some other weird stuff for a while, so msg broke down and bought a new one.

which, yay! only the new one doesn't like a lot of our old apps and programs and peripherals. the drawing tablet doesn't work right now, we had to update our photoshop, the hard drive stopped backing up and isn't even reading anymore, and it keeps telling us different drivers and plug-ins and whatevers are about to stop being supported due to this new "silicon" thing mac is changing everything over to.

i get it, we're probably suffering because all the stuff on our old computer was so old.

but ...

is it really that hard to make a newer, spiffier, more powerful computer figure out how to deal with older software than to make the old computer work with the older software?

i'm pretty sure the answer is, no, it's not that hard, but that what's even less hard is to let old stuff go obsolete and make you so miserable about having to update that you give up and update more often so they can rake in more money from you.

but at least they keep adding all these ai features that offer to help you do stuff you don't need help with, and that give all kinds of interesting answers to your google searches only you really can't trust those answers without doing more of a google search to make sure the ai wasn't just making everything up.

anyway, it seems like computers are more likely to turn into those battle droids from star wars sooner than they'll turn into the terminators from terminator, which i guess is a good thing.

xoxo,
claire

Wednesday, June 17, 2026

secret of the dragon emperor ... part 36-1/2!

okay, folks, i'm just going to summarize this one because it was a very book-keepy session and probably everyone's already thinking there's way too much die-rolling and numbers-talking in these write-ups!

so after we toasted leanara and quasimund and their cultists on the stairs to the temple ruins, the captain of the outskirt guards, hardy, comes barreling up and demanding to know what's going on. we show him the cult tattoos on all the bodies and tell him how we got the magic sword out of the crypt under the temple. the dude was pretty shook that sweet little annabella from the three stags inn got killed, and also that she was in cahoots with quasimund and they were all demon-worshipping cultists. and on top of that, his mind was more or less blown by sir quackenscrump waving the legendary um-durman sword around. put all that together and he insisted there needed to be a pow-wow of all the important people in town about these applecart-upsetting events, so we ended up in a not-so-huge hall they use for town meetings, with hardy and vagnhild and dranath and master ulvar and a few others talking everything through.

they wanted to know if we'd be heading straight for mirror lake to take care of azrahel koth, sathmog's right-hand evil cleric, which we weren't all too sure we were ready for, exactly. dranath expressed certainty that the omens were good that we had a destiny to defeat koth, which sounded pretty good, except that one piece of evidence he cited was the miraculous way he was returned to youth when he treated dilfriida for disease. he called this a gift from the gods for playing his part in the success of the destined heroes, but we couldn't help remembering that it happened because he demoned his spellcasting roll.

long story short, this semi-official town council said everyone should keep the discovery of the sword under wraps, although there was no hiding the fact that the crypt had been opened. dranath took in on himself to risk getting lightning-bolted by reading the book of eledain, but it turned out to be kind of a big puff-piece on how great the dragon emperor and his dragon knights had been, and how they'd eventually return once azrahel koth was defeated.

so we spent a couple weeks in town training up using the rules for studying under teachers, because dolora still needed filvius to teach her animism, and brandywise took "magic talent" for her heroic ability and needed teaching too.

next time we'll start off figuring out whether we want to head right for mirror lake, or if it would be better to do some more adventuring and get ourselves into even buffer shape. but it may be a bit, because i think we're going to give elle a break from gm-ing and play some more in akane's d&d campaign!

secret of the dragon emperor ... part 36!

things are coming to a head at the temple ruins in outskirt!

GM Elle: So a little short of half an hour after Dolora starts to puzzle her way through re-assembling the statuette, she gets the last piece solidly in place and the carving is complete again after who knows how many centuries of being broken and scattered.
Claire: I was watching carefully, by the way, to try to gain the knowledge of how the pieces fit together.
GM Elle: You can make a Spot Hidden role to follow the process with detailed enough observations to get a Boon later if it gets taken apart and you have to figure it out again.
Claire: I succeed!
Akane: Zedeja tells the puzzling dwarf to put down this statue so she can Levitate it.
MSG: I'll do that.
Harriet: I'll remind everyone to stand back from that area of suspicious tiles in front of the niche. 
Akane: Zedeja attempts Mentalism. Success, of course. The statue is Levitated into the niche-ly indentation.
GM Elle: When it settles into place, there's a slight tremor, and the rectangular area collapses to reveal a stairway leading down into darkness.
Heddy: I congratulate Dilfriida on her sharp eyes in spotting that trap.
Harriet: Dilfriida normally lacks social graces, but for Brandywise, she'll scrounge up some awkward thanks for the praise.
Heddy: Don't mention it!
Sasha: Quackers will head down the stairs. He's hoping there's some kind of monster guarding the magic sword inside. "Somebody bring a light?
Claire: Filvius wants to be near the front to beat Dolora to any knowledge-getting that might happen, so he casts his Light trick on his staff.
MSG: Dolora will grumblingly let him by.
GM Elle: As you proceed down the stairs into the pitch darkness, you see ahead the entrance to a chamber, and when you arrive at its level, you see before you a tomb-like shrine. There's a central altar with a jeweled greatsword resting upon it, as well as a golden goblet and an open book. There's also --
Claire: I'm making a bee-line for that book.
Akane: Wait! More traps may imperil us! 
Claire: Too late. Any traps go off on my way there, Elle?
GM Elle: No. You arrive at the book without incident. Also --
MSG: I'm going to hurry in and examine the goblet.
GM Elle: Can I finish describing the room?
MSG: Sorry. Filvius started it, though.
Sasha: It's going to be pretty sweet if there's a monster in the room that was standing still and you just didn't let Elle get to that part of the description, and now it starts attacking anybody next to the altar.
GM Elle: There's no monster, but on the far wall there's a fountain --
MSG: Another fountain? Dolora grabs the goblet and takes it over there.
GM Elle: -- and in each corner of the octagonal chamber stand statues of knights in armor, their helmets adorned with horns. Their poses are intense and threatening.
MSG: I'll ... keep an eye on the ones nearest the fountain as I approach it.
Claire: What am I seeing when I look at the book?
GM Elle: Let's map this out and have everybody say where their characters are located before we get any further. Here's what the room looks like:

MSG: I'm on my way to the fountain.
Claire: I'm at the book.
Ariel: I'm still outside at the bottom of the stairs.
Sasha: Quackers is just looking at the statues next to the stairs. Maybe they're golems or something and he'll be able to fight them if they start moving.
Akane: Zedeja awaits behind our duck knight.
Harriet: Dilfriida's not getting any closer until she has a chance to see what manner of catastrophe Filvius and Dolora might be about to trigger.
Heddy: Same for Brandy.
GM Elle: All right. There's no motion evident from any of the statues as Filvius looks at the book and Dolora approaches the font. The book is open to a page with a lone inscription upon it. Roll Languages to decipher the writing, Claire.
Claire: Yeah, my Languages skill stinks. I blow it. That makes me Angry that I'm not beating Dolora to this knowledge, and I Push the roll -- success! Oh, wait, I'm Angry, to that's a Bane on Int skills. Rolling the second die ... also success, cool beans!
GM Elle: The ancient script translates as, "Hail, Emperor of the World -- Lord of Light -- Punisher of Impurity -- Eledain Forever, in the Depths of Our Pure Hearts."
Claire: Hmm.
MSG: I hold the goblet under the fountain. I guess I'll sniff it to see if it's got any unhealthy odor before I give it a taste.
GM Elle: You can roll Bushcraft or Healing.
MSG: My Bushcraft is better, and I make it.
GM Elle: No odd smell, and no odd taste when you sip it.
MSG: Any chance my head suddenly fills with magical knowledge?
GM Elle: No. At least, not from a single sip.
MSG: I'll let the cup fill up more and take a bigger drink.
GM Elle: Still nothing.
Akane: I say, "Duck, there is no monstering it seems. Step aside and allow a senior mage to enter the room."
Sasha: I'll do that.
Akane: Zedeja proceeds to the book and looks over the shoulder of a junior mage. If there's no concealment by our elf, I attempt reading it with Languages ... failure! I tell him, "So, junior mage. Demonstrate whether your skill of translating equals your elder's. What do you read there?"
Claire: I tell her.
Akane: Zedeja nods wisely. "Tolerable. Maybe grammar could be slightly improved next time, though."
Harriet: I'll go in and have a look at those jewels on the sword.
Heddy: Brandy sticks close by Dilfriida.
GM Elle: The glitter and shine of the sword itself nearly matches that of the gems in its hilt and pommel. Just as a work of craftsmanship and rare materials, you think it would be worth a very hefty price.
MSG: I come back to the altar sipping from my goblet.
Claire: Can I Spot Hidden to see if Dolora is looking smarter from drinking out of the goblet?
GM Elle: I think that's a stretch. What is everyone going to do?
MSG: Well, I'm thinking there's got to be a reason for this book to be here and the fountain and goblet too. What did that inscription say again?
Claire: I'll answer the question to show off my knowledge before Zedeja beats me to it.
MSG: Dolora will come around and read for herself in case Filvius made a mistake. I succeed at my Languages roll.
GM Elle: Are you reading silently or aloud?
MSG: Aloud, with great confidence.
Akane: Zedeja shakes her head. "Same imperfection of grammar. You must both try harder with future translatings."
MSG: Let's have a look at the sword, then. I'll pick it up and see if there are any inscriptions on either side of the blade or handle.
GM Elle: You don't notice any.
Claire: Filvius tells her to let him see, and takes hold of the sword too.
GM Elle: A Lightning Bolt instantly flashes down from the ceiling at Filvius. You can roll to Evade.
Claire: Yikes! I succeed and immediately let go of the sword.
Akane: Hmm. Both gluttons for knowledge read out words of the book. What differed?
Heddy: Obviously, Dolora drank from the fountain with the cup, and Filvius didn't. However, I'm certainly not going to test out that theory.
Claire: I tell Dolora to give me the cup.
Sasha: Ha, like you have any business with a greatsword! Quackenscrump says he should be the one to give it a try.
MSG: I definitely hand the cup to Sir Q and not Filvius.
Claire: Don't think I'm going to forget that.
MSG: You might -- I know your memory isn't as sharp as mine.
Sasha: I take a gulp from the cup and then say the line from the book. I don't need to roll Languages myself, do I? Cause that's not happening.
GM Elle: You can just make an Int roll to see if you get the exact wording.
Sasha: Ooh -- Int ain't my strong suit ... but I make it. Do I get zapped when I touch the sword?
GM Elle: No.
Akane: Zedeja insists everyone must repeat this ritual, in case there's need for another besides our duck to carry this sword.
Harriet: Dilfriida says she'll be happy to do so and carry the sword until it's needed.
Akane: Not you, halfling! I saw your eyeing of its gems! And a person so miniature is insensible as a choice to portage a sword so large.
Harriet: I stick my tongue out and go over to Sir Quackenscrump to ask for the goblet.
Sasha: I'm fine handing it over. 
Harriet: I just barely make my Int check to recall the right words, then drink up from the goblet.
Heddy: Are you going to touch the sword, then?
Harriet: I'm not sure there's an immediate need to verify that I've done it right, so, no."
Heddy: Brandy is a tad disappointed at your caution, but understands it at the same time.
MSG: I'll show off my knowledge by repeating the words for anyone else who wants to try.
GM Elle: In that case, all present can be assumed safe from the sword's electric fury, unless someone chooses not to complete the ceremony. Now, meanwhile ...
Ariel: Why are you looking at me? I hope this isn't something bad about to happen because I Demon-ed that roll earlier.
GM Elle: Not too long after the rest of the group heads up to the temple ruins, Fidu and Glinssa both notice a figure striding toward them from the guardhouse of the south gate. It looks like Hardy, the captain of the guard. Glinssa busies herself looking after the donkeys, so Hardy approaches Fidu.
Ariel: I guess I'll wave and say hi?
GM Elle: Hardy greets you and says he heard tell from someone that Vagnhild at the Three Stags wanted a word with your group the next time you showed up in town. He also suggests that your donkeys and cart might be better parked at the inn, instead of blocking the stairs up to the temple. "It's not that there's a heap of traffic up and down the stairs," he says, "but it is still a holy place -- and the inn's staffed to keep up with the fertilizer donkeys such as yours tend to put out."
Ariel: Um ... I'll tell him we're hoping the rest of our group won't be too much longer and we'd like to wait for them.
GM Elle: "Hoping?" he asks. "What are they about up there, and d'you have any notion how long exactly they'll be taking?"
Ariel: I'll say they're just poking around in the ruins but I admit I don't know how soon they'll be done. I'm thinking for all me and Glinssa know, there's a whole dungeon underneath the temple and they won't be out for hours, like with most of the other places we've explored. I'm not saying that out loud, though.
GM Elle: Hardy says one of you could run up and let them know to get a move on, but unless the poking around finishes up soon, you'd best move your cart and animals. He seems pretty serious about it. If you want to park it outside the gate and not on the town street, he'd be okay with that.
Ariel: Dang. I really don't want to do any of that. But I guess I'll tell Glinssa to run up to the temple and if she sees the others, let them know we'll wait outside the gate for them. That's less work for me than driving all the way up to the inn.
GM Elle: Glinssa really isn't keen on being anywhere in town by herself. But it doesn't seem likely that she'll run into the cultists up on the temple hill, so she reluctantly sets off as she's told.
Ariel: I guess I'll drive the cart outside the city gate, then. Can I park where I'll be able to look through the gate and see the bottom of the stairs?
GM Elle: You'd be blocking the road in that case, and Hardy would have you move again.
Ariel: Okay, if he does that I guess I'll just pull to one side and wait.
GM Elle: As the group is finishing up taking turns with the cup and the book and the sword, then, Glinssa arrives to relay the message Fidu sent her with.
Akane: Why is she not donkey tending? Neglectful! Our hound should have told this Hardy, "If you want us to move, go talk to our group yourself!"
MSG: I don't like Fidu being alone outside the gates with our cart and all our stuff. Are we about done here?
Claire: I mean, we haven't searched the whole room for other clues or knowledge or hidden messages. Filvius wants to poke around some more and see what else there is to learn. Also, he'd like to flip through the book some more and see what else is written in it. Or maybe he'd just take it ...
Akane: That is fine, junior mage. But wait for your senior mage to step farther away, in case performing unauthorized examination or abscondment with the book brings more Lightning Bolts.
Claire: That's a good point, I guess. I still want to look around the room and altar and those statues just in case, though.
MSG: Dolora grumbles, but she's not going to leave Filvius alone with possible knowledge to find, so she'll start looking too.
Sasha: I'll hang out as long as everybody else does, in case something activates these golem statues so I can kill them. Might be a good way to try out this magic sword.
Akane: Bah. Zedeja will go and chastise a wolfish merchant, then. Glinssa must come too -- there are still donkeys to tend!
Heddy: I would prefer not to be around if golems suddenly animate. I'll ask Dilfriida if she's willing for us to accompany Zedeja.
Harriet: Only if we hang back and let her get far enough ahead she's not going to try bossing me around.
Heddy: We can do that.
GM Elle: Here's how it goes, then. Zedeja and Glinssa take about a round climbing the stairs out of the crypt. Then Dilfriida and Brandywise follow. Filvius and Dolora can each make a Spot Hidden check to see if there's anything notable where they're searching. Who's looking where?
MSG: I'm looking at statues, but I fail my roll. 
Claire: I'm looking at the altar, and I succeed!
GM Elle: Neither of you finds anything noteworthy. Zedeja and Glinssa spend the next round leaving the temple, and the round after that starting down the stairs. Suddenly, though, you see figures rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs. It's Quasimund and his band of scum. They seem to be skulking until they spot you, then Quasimund hisses, "It's them! Get them!" Time for initiative for Zedeja, Glinssa, and the baddies.
Akane: Zedeja, 8.
GM Elle: Glinssa, 6, baddies, 5. As Quasimund and the first 3 of his scum advance up the stairs, more of them round the corner at the foot of the stairs -- a 4th scum and Leanara. You see them draw weapons as they climb, once they're out of general view of the street. The closest of them ends up about 12 meters from Zedeja. Glinssa immediately squeaks, "I'll go get help!" and dashes back into the temple shouting, "The cult! The cult!"
Akane: Zedeja moves forward with boldness. "You cultly types! It's your last interference. Behold -- magery!" She casts Levitate to affect the first two scummish cultists, along with Quasimund. This must be rolled with a Bane. Success! The cultists are lifted six meters diagonally up and back, then dropped. This should increase the height of their fall at least to 8 meters, maybe 10? Due to falling to a lower stair location than they started.
GM Elle: I'll call it 10 meters, since the stairs are fairly steep. But they can roll Acrobatics to cut the number of damage dice in half. The first one fails ... the second fails with a Demon, so you can add an extra die on him. Quasimund succeeds.
Akane: 5 dice to cultist number 1, 6 to number 2, only 2 to Quasimund the duck scum, then. 17 and 19 to cultists, 6 to their leader. Next, with my Mastery of Spellcasting, I cast another spell: Stoneskin of Power Level 3.
GM Elle: Both cultists land on the stairs with a sickening snapping of bones and remain lying in a heap. New initiative. Quasimund will use his Veteran ability to retain his initiative card. Dilfriida and Brandy can draw this round. Those downstairs need to roll Awareness to hear Glinssa's shouting.
MSG: Success! I get the 6 card.
Claire: Success also! 3!
Sasha: Aw, man. My Bane from my helmet screws up the Dragon I rolled and I fail.
Akane: 9 for Zedeja. Not ideal.
Harriet: Dilfriida is on 2.
Heddy: Brandy on 4.
GM Elle: Glinssa, 10. Dilfriida is up, then.
Harriet: I'll move forward out of the temple, readying my bow as I go. It looks like they're all within shortbow range ... I'll shoot at Quasimund, I guess. That's a hit for 9 points if he doesn't dodge.
GM Elle: He'll attempt a dodge ... Dragon! I'll say that lets him retain an action on his turn instead of burning it all on the reaction. Filvius?
Claire: I'm having a hard time tearing myself away from the possible knowledge down here in the crypt. I'll switch cards with Akane.
Akane: Good strategizing by the junior mage. Zedeja again Levitates Quasimund. She must move 2 spaces forward to do this, but will move 3 spaces back when done. Success on both Baned dice. Does he again Acrobatically reduce damage?
GM Elle: Unfortunately, no.
Akane: Then his damage is 17 points.
GM Elle: He lands on his head and his thin mallard neck snaps.
Heddy: I'm next, but I really haven't much to contribute. I'll move to the temple door and shelter behind the door frame, just peeking out to see what's happening.
GM Elle: On the bad guys' turn, Leanara shouts at her remaining two minions: "For Sathmog! Take them!" Then she appears to concentrate, and you see a swarm of enormous bats fluttering out from hiding places amongst the ruins. Cultist 3 moves forward to attack Zedeja with his shortsword ... Dragon! He rolls 2d10 for 12 damage.
Akane: 8 is stopped by Stoneskin.
GM Elle: Cultist 4 moves forward and attacks Zedeja with his sling, but misses.
MSG: I'm toodling up the stairs, then.
Claire: Me too, with a wistful backward glance at the statues and a shout at Quackenscrump to come on.
GM Elle: Glinssa moves up opposite Brandywise and attacks one of her former colleagues using her sling. She hits number 3 for 3 points. New initiative.
MSG: 8.
Claire: 5.
Sasha: Uff. 12.
Akane: Barely superior is Zedeja's 10.
Harriet: 4. 
Heddy: The 1! What am I going to do with that? Trade it immediately, I suppose.
GM Elle: 9 for Leanara. Bat Swarm on 2 and 7. Glinssa on 6.
Heddy: I believe I'll switch with Zedeja.
Akane: Zedeja will strike this cultist with her staff ... success in the amount of 8 damage!
GM Elle: He'll attempt evasion ... and succeeds.
Akane: Next, it's an evasion roll for Zedeja also, to move out of combat without attracting attacks. Success. She moves near our halfling, grudgingly.
GM Elle: The bats gang up on Dilfriida.
Harriet: I'll spend 3 WP to Dodge ... but get a Demon.
GM Elle: I'll say you trip and fall prone. The bats do an extra d6 for your being prone, and you suffer a Fear attack. Damage is ... ouch, 17 points.
Harriet: More than I have, but at least I make my Fear save. So I'm afraid I'm dying, but not afraid as a general matter. My turn, right? I'll trade with Sir Q to put my death save last in the round.
Sasha: I'll just move twice to get nearer the action.
Claire: I suppose Filvius had better go heal Dilfriida. He'll move forward 3, cast at power level 2 ... Dragon! I'll use that to cast for no WP. 17 points, good as new, right?
Harriet: At least for the moment.
Claire: Then I'll use Master Spellcaster and cast a Power Level 1 Lightning Bolt at Leanara.
GM Elle: She'll definitely attempt a Dodge with her Fast Footwork ... succeeds. Glinssa fires her sling at number 3 again, but misses. That brings us to the bats' next turn. They create a swirling horror, swarming everyone within 10 meters. You all suffer a Fear attack.
MSG: Safe.
Claire: Agh. Demon.
GM Elle: Wild Panic.
Claire: I've been here before. Guess I'm headed back into the temple on my next turn.
Sasha: I spend 2 WP to not roll.
Akane: 19 for Zedeja, but she becomes Disheartened that she might flee like a junior mage. By Pushing, she succeeds on roll number 2.
Harriet: Dilfriida fails and becomes Disheartened too. The Push roll is a Dragon.
Heddy: I succeed.
GM Elle: I believe it's Dolora next.
MSG: I'll step up and take a swing at these bats with my heavy warhammer. Hit for 10 points.
GM Elle: Because it's a swarm, they take half damage.
MSG: Rats.
Claire: Bats, actually.
GM Elle: Leanara moves up next to cultist number 3, wielding a dagger that has a sinister sheen to it. She can't get in range to attack this turn, though. Cultist 4 takes a potshot at Zedeja and misses. That leaves Heddy and then Dilfriida.
Heddy: I'll shout encouragement to Dilfriida and throw pebbles at the bats in hopes of distracting them to help her on her round.
Harriet: My turn? I'll sidle up next to Dolora to use my Backstabbing and Assassin abilities on the bats. Or does their being a swarm prevent that?
GM Elle: I don't see anything in the rules about that. Just because it seems peculiar to be Backstabbing a Harriet: Hopefully it shan't be a problem, since Backstabbing gives me a Boon too. Two successes for 17 points.
GM Elle: It looks like you're thinning out the swarm. New initiative. 5 for the bad guys.
MSG: 11. 
Claire: 1. Didn't really want that.
Sasha: 2.
Akane: 10.
Harriet: 4! At least most of us are doing reasonably well with initiative this go-round.
Heddy: Eh. 7.
GM Elle: Bats on 3 and 9, Glinssa on 8.
Claire: I don't even feel like I should ask whether I can trade away my 1 when I'm in a Wild Panic.
GM Elle: I think not.
Claire: Then I'm just dashing as far back into the temple as I can.
Sasha: Quackers is going to roll up and do some monster killing here. The bats count as a monster since they're getting multiple turns and not having to roll their attacks, right? I'm giving this Um-Durman sword a try. I hit and spend 3 WP to do Dragonslayer. 24 points.
GM Elle: You sweep the swarm from the sky with that, even accounting for the half damage. Dilfriida's turn.
Harriet: I'll switch back to my bow to shoot at Leanara. Hit, for 8 points.
GM Elle: She uses her Weasel ability to push her underling in the way. 
Heddy: What a bitch.
GM Elle: The underling tries to dodge and fails. On the bad guys' turn, Leanara decides things are looking very poorly for her team and cuts and runs, leaving cultist 3 behind because he used up his turn.
Heddy: I guess I'll run after Filvius and try to shout encouragements to help him with his rolls to overcome the panic.
GM Elle: Glinssa takes a pot-shot at Leanara -- but rolls a Demon. She hits herself for 2 points.
Akane: Zedeja will also sling a shot at the cultist leader. A hit for 8 points.
GM Elle: She spends WP on Fast Footwork but misses her Evade. That just leaves Dolora.
MSG: I'll switch to my shortbow and see if I can peg her. Miss, but I'm kind of Scared of her getting away, so I'll Push the roll ... it's a hit.
GM Elle: She makes her Dodge.
MSG: I'll move after her, then.
GM Elle: New initiative. This could determine whether she makes it around the corner and has a chance to lose herself in the crowd or not.
MSG: 5.
Claire: 2.
Sasha: 3.
Akane: 4.
Harriet: 6. It appears to be up to you to get the 1 and prevent her escape, H.
Heddy: Too much pressure! 8.
GM Elle: Leanara ends up with the 7 anyway.
Claire: My WIL roll is a success with Brandy's help, so I get myself under control.
Sasha: Moving and shooting. Hit for 11 points.
GM Elle: She's out of WP, so she'll have to use her turn to Dodge. Success.
Akane: A sling stone from Zedeja -- hit, and 6 points.
GM Elle: That takes Leanara to 0, but she's a Boss, so on her turn she'll have a chance to Rally.
MSG: I hit with my bow too, though, so that's an automatic Death Saving Throw fail for her, right?
Harriet: Dilfriida will try to make it two. She hits as well.
GM Elle: I'm calling it, then. The last cultist stabs himself rather than being taken alive. All this ruckus has drawn Hardy's attention from the south gate, so he'll arrive momentarily to see what's going on. But I think we can leave that until next time, since it's already kind of late. Defeating Leanara and gaining the sword constitutes a major event in the campaign, so everyone gets an automatic new Heroic Ability in addition to your advancement rolls, which I think everyone should get 5 of each.
MSG: Awesome!
Claire: Very exciting session, Elle!
Ariel: Plenty exciting for Fidu, who's gonna be glad to find out he didn't have to exert himself in that fight!

Saturday, June 13, 2026

secret of the dragon emperor ... part 35!

we finally have all four parts of that statue we've been piecing together for ... (checks old blog entries) ... almost three years!!!

GM Elle: After the hearty farm breakfast Roric's family prepares for you, you depart for Outskirt. Are you going to head for the south gate or the north one? South is slightly farther, but Glinssa says she'd just as soon avoid the north gate, since it's closer to the Three Stags Inn, where Leanara and her fellow cultists sometimes meet.
Akane: Concerns about cultists ... irrelevant! It's the same for preferences of a donkey-tender. More importantly -- which gate neighbors the bank?
GM Elle: The bank isn't too far from the bakery, so the south gate is closer by a hair.
Akane: Zedeja insists upon this direction, then. No dilly-dallies or dawdles!
MSG: Hang on, though ... once we're done at the bank and go to the ruins to try getting in, what are we going to do with the cart and donkeys and Glinssa? I don't know that it's a great idea to leave them sitting at the bottom of the stairs while all of us go into this crypt.
Claire: Assuming we can find the way in.
Ariel: Well, I'd be okay hanging out in the cart with Glinssa instead of climbing up all those stairs.
Heddy: And Brandywise wouldn't mind waiting out here where it's nice and sunny ... at least until the more dauntless members of the party determine how dangerous it is inside.
GM Elle: Literally not to rain on your parade, but remember that it's misty and grey pretty much all the time here in the Misty Vale, unless it's night or actually raining.
Harriet: Also, stepping out of character, need I remind you that Brandy has some information about the ruins that no one else does?
Heddy: Oh, shoot, that's right. Well, I assume we're talking all of this through on our way to Outskirt and then the bank, so it would probably jog my memory as we pass by the hill with the ruins on top, and then I'd let everyone in on that little nook I found with the runes around it. And at that point I'd be choosing between staying out in the misty grey and going into the dark temple with everyone else to re-examine the runes. I guess it's not that hard a choice.
Claire: Hmm ... Dolora has one of the statue pieces stored at the bank, right?
MSG: Right ... why?
Claire: Because as soon as Brandy mentions that she found some interesting runes, Filvius suggests the two of them should go and get started deciphering while Dolora -- that is, while everyone else is at the bank. 
MSG: Dolora scowls at that but can't immediately think of a counter-argument.
Claire: Since my Languages skill stinks, I'll say Zedeja should come along and pitch in. 
Akane: Unacceptable! Senior mages are not assistants! I will come, but only so a junior mage can watch and learn.
Harriet: Dilfriida is forced to match Dolora scowl for scowl. She'd much prefer to accompany Brandy, but expects Zedeja's squawking presence to sour any mood that might develop.
Ariel: She can hang out with me and Glinssa and the donkeys, then! Why do any of us need to go all the way to the bank besides Sir Quackenscrump and Dolora?
Sasha: Good question. Quackers just waves and keeps walking.
MSG: Okay. Dolora sticks with him at a quick pace. In fact, fumingly quick -- she's going to miss out on whatever rune knowledge we get, so she's ticked off.
Claire: You'll be free to try reading them yourself when you catch up, you know.
MSG: Right, but whatever I learn from them, I won't be learning before Filvius, will I?
GM Elle: All right. Dolora and Sir Q are off to the bank, the other five characters and Glinssa head for the stairs up to the ruins, and then Filvius, Brandy, and Zedeja split off to climb to the ruins and return to the niche Brandy found before. 
Ariel: I'll nap in the cart once we get to the bottom of the stairs.
GM Elle: The streets of Outskirt hold their normal, modest flow of morning traffic, so there aren't any crowds to fight on the way to your destinations. The stairs up to the temple ruins are directly opposite the south gate, so no one thinks it unusual for a cart to be parked there, at least briefly. By the time Filvius, Akane, and Brandy arrive at the top, Sir Q and Dolora are about halfway to the bank.
Heddy: Is the temple interior as dim and gloomy as last time? I'll light my oil lamp if that's the case.
GM Elle: It is. With a light source, you don't have much trouble finding the niche you investigated before. Everyone present should make an Awareness roll. 
Claire: I make it.
Akane: No difficulty for a mage of such Awareness as Zedeja.
Heddy: I miss by a hair.
GM Elle: Filvius and Zedeja notice a couple of bats roosting on the temple ceiling not far from the niche.
Akane: Suspicious! Has anyone noticed these before?
Heddy: I don't believe I did.
Claire: Me either. Can I make a Beast Lore roll to figure out if they seem to be new arrivals, and if it's normal for bats to be found in town?
GM Elle: No need to roll about bats occasionally visiting towns. They're a pretty common species of mammal, even if they don't usually congregate around humans. Go ahead and roll for spotting any clues about how long they've been here.
Claire: I fail, but I'm pushing the roll since it's Disheartening to have my knowledge let me down. Second roll makes it.
GM Elle: There's little or no guano on the floor. It seems unlikely the bats have been camped out here for a long time.
Akane: Visitor bats -- even more suspicious than resident bats! Zedeja remains alert even while looking for runes. Satyr! Bring your lamp! The eyes of a mage are weak with age and need light.
Heddy: I'll hold the lamp up for Zedeja while keeping a nervous eye on the bats, now that I know they're there.
GM Elle: Zedeja can make a Languages roll to decipher the runes. 
Akane: Success!
GM Elle: It says, "Eledain, Emperor of the World -- Master of Dragons -- Keeper of Um-Durman."
Claire: Are you reading it out loud? If you're not reading it out loud, Filvius is going to get impatient and ask what it says.
Akane: "Hush, junior mage! What if visiting bats hear?" I look to see if their ears are perking.
GM Elle: I suppose you can make an awareness check.
Akane: Success.
GM Elle: They seem to just be hanging from the ceiling, asleep.
Akane: Hmm. I say loudly, "The runes say the crypt can open tonight, with a rising moon shining its light into this wreckaged temple! We must hurry and tell our companions." Then I depart with speed, if companions follow. But outside the temple, less hurrying.
Heddy: I'm definitely not staying in here if Zedeja is done.
Claire: Hang on, did I believe Zedeja was telling the truth?
Akane: Exactly, my roll equals the Bluffing skill of Zedeja.
Claire: I suppose that answers that. I'll go with them.
Akane: Do I become aware of bats flying away once we leave? My Awareness roll is also exact in matching my skill.
GM Elle: You do hear a fluttering and see one of the two bats fly out of a crack in the temple roof. It flits away to the north.
Akane: Zedeja halts near the stair top, then, and whispers to companions what she read. "Only one bat spyingly left, however. If a duck and dwarf return bearing statue pieces, the remainder bat will see and report -- if also it's a spy."
Claire: I hate to suggest killing the second bat to get it out of the way, but Filvius probably doesn't hate the idea as much as I do. He'll wonder out loud if that's the best approach to take.
Heddy: Brandy isn't any more a fan of killing animals without good reason.
Akane: First reason -- it is spyful! Second reason -- it is probably a bat of cultism. Sinister! There's no mourning such a bat. But, a strategy of killing it now is poor. Maybe a bat death will alert cultists through magic.
Claire: So do we want to go back to the cart and wait with Fidu, Glinssa, and Dilfriida?
Akane: With Fidu, of course it's wanted. The other two -- less so.
Heddy: I also wonder if the six of us loitering about the foot of the stair might draw undue attention. What if Zedeja and Filvius remain here, and I'll go let the others know what the situation is.
Akane: Acceptable, though Zedeja has suspicions. Is a satyr just eager for the attentions of a thievish halfling? These thoughts remain silent, though.
Heddy: I'll head back down to the cart, then.
GM Elle: By the time you arrive, Sir Q and Dolora have reached the bank and retrieved their statue pieces. They'll return to the stairs in a few minutes. When Brandy relays the information about the bat and runes -- I assume you're going to?
Heddy: Yes. And Zedeja's strategizing.
GM Elle: Then Glinssa tells you that she knows Leanara has a cage of bats under the eaves of the Three Stags, so it wouldn't surprise her if the bats in the temple have something to do with the cult.
Harriet: Have Dolora and Quackenscrump concluded their assignment yet? Once Brandy and Glinssa have broken their respective news to us?
GM Elle: Not quite.
Ariel: Well then I wake up from my nap in the cart and ask what's going on so you have to repeat it. Maybe they'll be back after that.
Harriet: Dilfriida chafes a bit at Fidu imposing on Brandywise to tell her story all over again. She suggests the wolfkin might do better to take fewer naps and pay more attention.
Heddy: I'll tell her it's perfectly fine and repeat everything to Fidu. I'm not eager to go back up into the gloomy temple just yet anyway.
GM Elle: By the second time through, Quackenscrump and Dolora have returned.
Harriet: I'll hop down from the cart and say, "Let's get going!" It would irritate Dilfriida to no end if she has to sit through the same information a third time, even if it's Brandywise relating it.
GM Elle: Does everyone head up to the temple, then?
MSG: Somebody still has to watch the cart and donkeys, right?
Ariel: I can keep hanging with Glinssa, no problem.
Heddy: My scholarly curiosity gets the better of me in wanting to see what happens when the statue is put together and set into that niche.
GM Elle: Everyone meets up at the hilltop, then, except Fidu and Glinssa.
Sasha: Quackers is raring to go. "Where are these monster bats, then? I'm ready to take them out."
Akane: Within the temple, duck. Only one still hangs there, though. The other departed.
Sasha: I'm marching toward the temple with my bow out and my helmet off, then, since it gives a bane on ranged attacks.
Heddy: I tell Sir Q he'll need a light and hurry behind him.
MSG: That seems uncharacteristically brave.
Heddy: Sticking close to the most heavily armored and combat-trained member of the party?
MSG: Good point.
Heddy: Oops. I just realized, though, that I didn't actually see the bats, which makes it hard to pinpoint them for our knight.
GM Elle: You two draw initiative with the bat, then, to see if you alert or spook it.
Sasha: 8.
Heddy: Ugh. 9.
GM Elle: Bat is on 4. I'll roll awareness to see if it's roused by your light. It's there as a spy and has sharp senses, so I'm giving it a Boon ... and it succeeds with double 5's. When the light flashes across it, it immediately spreads its wings and flies up through the same crack in the roof.
Sasha: I'll dash outside and try to get a shot at it.
GM Elle: It's already out of normal range by then, so you'll get a Bane.
Sasha: Gurk -- I roll a Demon.
GM Elle: The table says you hit yourself by mistake. Roll damage without your Agility modifier.
Sasha: It bounces off my armor.
Akane: Have others time to act also?
GM Elle: With spells, yes, but no one said they were heading up with their weaponry out.
Claire: Well, I don't know if it's also outside my spell range, but I probably don't want to zortch it with a Lightning Bolt in the middle of town, so I guess it gets away if Zedeja doesn't have a spell that can reach it.
Akane: No spells of long range for Zedeja.
GM Elle: Then the bat gets away.
MSG: I guess we'd better hurry in and put the statue together and open this place for business.
Harriet: While they're at work on that puzzle, I'll ask Brandy to shine a light around the niche so that I can check it for traps. It seems like the kind of place someone might have left one, considering the "hiding a powerful artifact away from untoward hands" aspect of the setup here.
Heddy: I certainly move to help Dilfriida out.
GM Elle: Roll Spot Hidden, then.
Harriet: I make it, though by the barest of margins.
GM Elle: You see that the floor in front of the niche consists of carefully fitted stones in a rectangular area about two meters wide by three long. You wouldn't be surprised at them opening up precipitously at some trigger.
Harriet: Is there room to stand in the niche to place the statue in that indentation?
GM Elle: A small character like you could, or a taller character might stand beyond the edge of the rectangular area and stretch to try to put the key in place.
Akane: Or a Wisdomly mage could Levitate this process instead of trusting a halfling or risking an awkward stretcher dropping the statue to break it into additional pieces.
Heddy: That seems like quite a good idea.
GM Elle: Who's putting the statue together, then? It's going to take a Crafting check.
MSG: My Crafting isn't the greatest ... 9.
Claire: Way better than mine.
Sasha: Same.
Akane: Only a 5 for Zedeja because of her weakling Strength.
Harriet: Dilfriid would love to be better than Zedeja at something like this. But she's not.
Heddy: Brandy either.
GM Elle: Looks like it's up to Dolora, then. Someone can Help and give her a Boon.
MSG: Awesome. All right ... nope, I fail even with the Boon. That's Disheartening for me, and I Push the roll -- but fail even worse.
GM Elle: It's very slow going, then. There are only four pieces, but apparently if you don't put them together from just the right angles in just the right order, they simply won't fit. I'll roll how long it takes you -- 24 minutes.
MSG: Oof.
GM Elle: Is Fidu keeping an eye out downstairs? Or is he back to napping.
Ariel: I mean, a nap does sound good and all, but I guess something important is going on with the temple and the statue, and Dilfriida did nag at me a minute ago, so I'm probably up.
GM Elle: Roll Awareness.
MSG: I don't like the sound of that.
Ariel: Foozers. Demon.
Sasha: I like the sound of that even less.
GM Elle: All right, so not only do you not see anything, but you're yawning and stretching at just the wrong moment and get in Glinssa's way so that she doesn't see anything either.
Ariel: Uh ... what is it that we don't see?
GM Elle: You don't see it, so I'm not saying. Maybe you'll find out later.
Ariel: Boo.

and i'm a little short on time, so i'm stopping this installment here. i'll try to get back and write up the rest of the session soon!