Tuesday, May 26, 2020

i guess i'll just have to write him a blog post ...

the boy is doing that fidgety-fretfulness thing he does sometimes when he thinks he's not paying enough attention to me. it happens a lot when elle's using our shared body and i'm in the face-box, but it's also happening more since we went from being mostly a couple to totally a quintuple and he has so many more girlfriends to divide his time between.

he's adorable, even when he's being dumb like this.

so what i'm doing now is, i'm sitting down here and i'm writing this for him to show him that even just off the top of my head, spontaneous-like, i'm still everything to him.

everything.

it's paradoxical, since sash and elle and ariel are all so important to both of us, but that's the thing about true love. it doesn't make any sense. it doesn't have to make sense.

when it's true enough, it doesn't need saying. it doesn't need seeing.

i can be in a box for weeks and only come out to play ridiculous roleplaying games, and even while i'm in that box and seemingly not even poking a toe into the waters of his consciousness, i'm still everything to him.

i feel that constantly.

which doesn't mean my love for him is truer or stronger or more certain than his for me. it just means that our love resides in the single heart that it makes of both of us. and when i don't have him right before my eyes, or on the phone, or sitting with me while i write things like this for him, that heart takes over all my senses. i can barely think over the sound of it beating.

so whenever he thinks he's leaving me alone too much, it's exactly the opposite. as long as i have him, i can't ever be alone. it's just not even possible, and of course i wouldn't want it to be.

plus ... whoo, boy, the things any three of us girls get up to together when he's got his hands full of the fourth!

goodnight, sweetheart. i'm closing my eyes inside my box ...

and slipping deep into the dream that is us.

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