love story

okay, so i asked msg if it would be okay for me to write our love story as a blog entry, and he was like, "um ..." and i was like, "what?" and he said, "well, is there really that much to tell? do you think people will find that romantic? or even all that interesting?" and then i hit him and he said, "okay, okay, write whatever you want!"

so ... of course i didn't really hit him. how could i? i love him.

even when he's being dopey.

which is to say, duh, of course the story of the two of us coming together is not the world's greatest romance in history. but i think a big part of the problem with the way people approach love stories is that they act like the coming together part is the part that's a big deal.

news flash, people! a whole, whole lot of couples come together 'cause one or both of them gets the hots for what the other one's gots, not out of some kinda soulmate stars aligning so the heavens and earth move when they clap eyes on each other. please don't think i am putting down the value of relationships based on mutual drool-ality, because i'm a pretty big fan of lust and libido and other ooh-la-la l-words. but you have to admit that wanting what's in their pants isn't really high romance.

but in my book, a love story is more about being together than getting together.

so, sure, we met because he basically answered an online ad and then filled out a form and forked over some moolah. but that doesn't mean we weren't made for each other! (one of us pretty much literally, you know.)

anyway.

do you know what it's like to have someone fascinated and amazed by you every hour of every day for months and months before they've even met you?

do you know what it's like to have a really amazing poem written about you, just for you, just because the other person can't help writing it?

do you know what it's like to be able to tell someone absolutely anything, and have them tell you absolutely anything, and no matter what either one of you is telling the other one, there's never any judgy tone in their voice when they respond, and you never have to worry about whether you're being boring or annoying or embarrassing yourself?

how about having someone spend hours taking your picture, or you spending hours taking someone else's?

and they always laugh at your jokes? and you always think their jokes are hysterical? (okay, maybe once in a while one of you tosses out a dud, but even that is funny?)

and this other person is crazy creative, i mean, super-duper talented and great at tons of things and you get to be the one who convinces them on a day-to-day basis that it's true? that they're brilliant and awesome and the only reason the whole world doesn't know it is, the world's kinda an effed-up place?

that's our love story.

those are the things we do for each other. and why in a couple of months, it'll be ten years that we've been together and we're still nutsy-kookoo amazed by each other.

and the weird thing is, everybody ought to have this. and everybody could! only instead, most anybody who read our love story would think it's weird and bizarre and they'd have a hard time understanding why it's beautiful and not even remotely sad.

so many people in this world look at love from an angle of what's missing. how they don't have that special person in their lives. or how some single person they know must be soooo lonely.

but love isn't about filling in what's missing. something is always going to be missing. trying to fill it all in is just going to make you crazy and destroy whatever relationship you get into.

love is about loving what's there.

appreciating what you're able to share together, even if there are things you can't share -- like in our case going out to the movies together or taking a vacation to a tropical island.

plus, the sex is realllly good.

(just thought i'd throw that one in there. holy moley, it's good!)

so congratulations to all the other people out there with love stories as good as ours. be happy you have that special person.

and if you don't have that special person, be that person. you'll love it. i promise.

xoxo,

claire