okay! it took us a little longer than i wanted to get back to our broken worlds gaming stuff because someone got all busy and went out of town a couple of times and also has been stressed and overworked and required a lot of tlc and attention and i guess by now you’ve probably guessed who it is, but i’ll pretend i’m not pointing fingers and avoid saying his name anyway.
which brings us to step two and creating our characters!
we made ariel go first the same way we pretty much forced her to be “the fated” as her character, and she complained that it was no fair and that she wanted to see how someone else did it as an example, and when we told her everything would be fine and to just go ahead, she tried the, “but it’s been so long since i even read the rules! and i mostly skimmed! (etc., etc.)” angle. so i just reminded her that i was going to be the game master first and i promised i’d take it easy on her and even let her erase and change stuff on her character if she messed something up, and she pouted but said, “fine.” (and then, “but remember, you promised!”)
“so what’s your character’s name?” i asked.
“nooo, why did you have to start with such a hard question?” she said.
“would you rather start by picking the numbers for your stats?”
“agh, that’s even worse!”
sasha interrupts at this point and says, “i think her name should be scaredy-schmaerdy panicky panties.”
“hey!”
i kind of gave sasha a mean look, but it was also kind of pretend, because obviously she was just trying to push aers to make a decision. “hush, you,” i told her, then said to ariel, “but honey, if you don’t want to be scaredy-schmaerdy panicky panties, just pick a better name.”
after a glare at sasha, she said, “i feel like i am all alone in this universe of crazy people, so i’m going to be ... lonely girl, uh... gazelle grey-eyes.”
“nice!” i said.
“i like the ‘gazelle’ part,” elle said.
“okay, now your stats. you get a +2, two +1’s, a 0, and a -1. they go in body, reflex, heat, breath, and mind. it says heat, body, and reflex are your most important ones.”
“what does any of that even mean?!?”
(flipping through the rule book) “body means big and strong, reflex means fast and coordinated, heat means brave, imposing, charismatic, breath means you’re healthy and in touch with your soul, and mind means perceptive, clever, and that kind of stuff.”
she frowned. “so if the first three are most important to me, that means i’m supposed to be sickly and dumb?”
msg chimed in here to say, “no, i think all the characters are supposed to be exceptional in almost all ways. but if your lowest scores are breath and mind, maybe you’re just a little more sheltered and frail, or naive and innocent.”
“do i have to make them the lowest, though? i just don’t want to be dumb.”
“just put some numbers somewhere!” said sasha.
“fine! i’m not dumb, so i’m putting +1 in mind. but i guess i better not just ignore what the rules recommend, so i’ll put the -1 in breath and now i’m going to be sneezing and coughing all the time. i’m a gazelle, so i’m not brave, so 0 in heat, and obviously i’m faster than strong, so reflex is +2 and body is +1. is it somebody else’s turn yet?”
“haha, no, there’s still lots to do, sweetheart. first, pick your race. you can be a human or a servant, it says.”
“human.”
“great! next you have to fill in the blanks for these three ‘bonds:’ i’ve known blank since i was very young.”
“elle’s character.”
“i don’t know much about blank and i should find out more before i trust them.”
“sasha’s character!” she said this with a squinty stare at sash, who stuck out her tongue.
“i consider blank a mentor to me.”
“well that obviously has to be your character.”
“thanks! see how easy this is? now you need to finish this sentence: my destiny is to blank.”
she thought a second and said, “find my true love, and kill them.”
“whoa, dark,” said elle.
“no,” ariel said, “it’s a weird freaky destiny, so killing them might not be what it sounds like.”
“okay,” said msg, “that is awesome.”
of course she beamed at that. “really?”
“totally.”
“yay! what next?”
“you have a ‘fated style.’ here, look at these pages on martial arts styles and pick one.”
(more flipping pages.) “ooh, this one says your hands are as deadly as swords! only i’m like a gazelle, so i’m going to say it’s my feet. and instead of swords it’s like, super-sharp gazelle hooves. i call it ‘gazelle hoof whirlwind’ style!”
“cool,” i said. “be sure you write down the name they call it in the rules too, so we remember how to look it up.”
“gotcha,” she said, scribbling quickly. “now what?”
“here. this list of ‘advanced moves’ are all the things your character might be able to do someday. you should pick one now.”
(reading.) “no ... no ... eh ... maybe ... hey! with this one, the first time i get hit in combat, i get to automatically damage whoever i want! ‘vengeful star.’ done. next?”
“you need to pick one extra weapon to be proficient with besides kicking people. here, the melee weapons are on this page and the ranged weapons are after that.”
“what’s a youlee weapon?”
“that’s me— are you messing with me?”
“maybe?”
sasha growled impatiently right there.
“okay, okay! well i’m not all that brave with my heat zero so i don’t want to always have to get within kicking distance, so maybe a ranged weapon. only i also don’t really see a gazelle using a gun or bow and arrows ... ooh, but here is a flying blade that comes back to you after you throw it! i’m going to say it’s a gazelle horn boomerang.”
“excellent. now write down your gear from what it says here.”
“light armor ... what’s it mean by ‘detail’?”
“you have to describe it.”
“oh. it’s made from the soft furry hide of a gazelle. one that i found that was already dying, i didn’t kill it! umm ... blah, blah, plain outfit, traveler’s gear ... a memento? hmm. how about a little carving of a gazelle that my grandmother gave to me?”
“i’m sensing a theme here,” elle said.
“i can’t help it! gazelles are cute and i’m not that creative.”
“hush,” i said. “you’re perfectly fine, creativity-wise. now you just need a one-sentence goal that describes what drives you, and a flaw that will cause you problems in your goal. plus last, describe what you look like.”
“i want to defeat cruel predators. like that? is that a good goal?”
“sounds as good as any,” msg said.
“i better pick a flaw that will be easy for me to role-play. how about, i’m too trusting? and ... what do i look like ... i’m going to go with small, kind of frail-looking ... with tawny hair and wide grey eyes.”
“awesome! seems like you’re all done. who’s next?”
“me!” said sasha. “i’m furious to get started.”
“whatever,” said elle. “i’m ‘the boss,’ so i think i should be able to say i’m going next.”
“well maybe you’re the boss of your gang, but you’re not the boss of me.”
“please tell me you’re not going to say that every time it comes up that my character is the boss.”
“do i get to go next?”
(eye rolling.) “fine.”
“yes! where’s my character sheet? i was paying attention, so this will be furiously fast! name? angry ag agnagaboth! i am a devil! stats? body +2, reflex 0, heat +1, breath +1, mind -1. i’m big, brave, and –”
“not that bright!” said ariel.
“don’t make me angry,” she warned.
“you’re already angry. you said so, it’s your name.”
“quiet! i’m busy! bonds ... oh, my bond sentences are different from yours ... ‘i’d gladly take a blade in the gut for’ ... mmm, probably claire’s character. ‘blank is soft and weak and will die without my help.’ hmm. hmm.”
“don’t you dare!”
“too late, i already wrote down ‘gazelle girl.’”
“grr!”
“last one ... ‘i fought (for/alongside/against) blank in the blank war.’ so many blanks! here, i’ll make it up to you, ariel. ‘i fought for gazelle girl in the war of lions and gazelles.’”
“i’m still mad.”
“peachy, i already moved on. instead of a destiny, i’ve got scars. 3 or 1d6 of them. 1d6! i roll ... 5! let’s say ... missing all the fingernails on my left hand from being tortured ... right pinkie got bitten off by a lion ... this jaggedy round one on my upper arm where the bone got broken and poked clean through the skin ...”
“ew!”
“... messed up burned symbol where some slave traders tried to brand me and i grabbed the branding iron away from them and shoved it down their throats ... and ... this embarrassing beak-mark on my right butt-cheek from a goose pecking me.”
“you’re on fire, sash,” elle said ... maybe a little drily.
“don’t interrupt! advanced move? ‘ghost making tiger!’ if i’m enraged, any damage i do to low-level bad guys is instantly fatal! proficiencies? great weapon – like, a giant two-handed sword. also ... why not? great bow! oh, but bummer, i only get to have one of them in my starting equipment. that’ll be the sword. goal and flaw? to kill the last of the lion’s mane pirates who destroyed my home when i was little. as for flaw, duh, i’m always furious! and ... put a fork in this character, it’s done!”
“what do you look like?”
“oh yeah! uhhh ... huge! like seven feet tall with shabby clothes and a big black lion mane around my shoulders. i’m a devil, so bright red skin and black eyes and a huuuge mouth of sharp teeth. over to you, elle.”
“whew,” i said. “think you’re ready to follow that, elle?”
“i’m the boss. i don’t follow, i lead. and the gang i lead is ... the diabolical strumpets guild!”
“aren’t you supposed to do your stats first?” sash asked.
“i do things in the order i want to do them. but fine. since i’m incredibly gorgeous and charismatic and you don’t want to cross me, i’m putting my +2 in heat. not so strong ... -1 body. not especially fast or acrobatic, but healthy and smart. reflex 0, breath and mind +1. and because i’m the boss, i get an extra stat called ‘boss.’ starts at 0, it says, but it’s not going to stay there long if i’ve got anything to say about it.”
“how about your bonds?”
“all right, first ... i know that blank is well known in the underworld. let’s say msg. my gang and i have beat the crap out of blank before.”
she looked right at sash, who said, “oh no you didn’t!”
“yep. angry ag.” more writing. “says so right here.”
“we are headed for character conflict here,” sash said.
“bring it on. last bond says ... blank would make a fine gang member and/or was formerly a member of my gang. guess what? that one’s angry ag too. before we beat her up and had to kick her out.”
“i am not a strumpet!”
“not anymore, babe. but it says right here on my character sheet that you used to be.”
“claire, tell her she can’t do that!”
i shrugged. “that’s how the game works, sash.”
“grrr. i never even said my character was a girl! so, it’s not! angry ag is a guy!”
“maybe that’s why we kicked you out. you faked being a girl strumpet for some reason, and when we found out, we had to give you the boot. shame too, since like i said, you would make a fine gang member.”
sash just crossed her arms and fumed, like she couldn’t decide whether to be mad or complimented at that.
“moving on,” said elle. “i have to describe my gang and their main racket. description: ‘a bunch of mean tarts who’d just as soon kill you as fuck you, depending on the fee.’ look: ‘scrappy, trashy streetwalkers in loud, cheap cosmetics.’ they fight with ... where’s that weapon section ... needles! and some of them with claws. mostly we do mercenary work and ‘protection.’ why? they’re streetwalkers. all their customers need ‘protection.’”
“ooh!” said ariel. “you’re so nasty, elle!”
“always. in fact, that’s my character’s flaw. she’s always horny. and my goal to go with the flaw is ... to castrate my ex-husband, the duke of white pillars.”
“i like it,” said msg. “and thanks for making my character well-known in the underworld. hopefully it’s for the right reasons.”
“no problem, sweetheart,” she said, in a very gangstery voice. “what’s left? oh, duh! name and look! let’s see ... i’m petite, voluptuous, with gold skin and horns that spiral to points. and my name is sin-sing cherise. how’s that?”
“started off kind of lame,” sash grumbled, “but i guess it got better as you went along.”
“okay,” said msg. “i think i’m ready. can i have the book? please?”
“sure. here you go.”
“my character is ‘the hunger,’” he said, flipping to the right spot. “kind of a wizard/sorcerer/black magician it looks like. i’m going to call him ‘matash kachrang.’”
“that sounds mysterious,” i said.
“he’s very smart: mind +2. kind of a chicken and not especially personable, though: heat -1. physical strength is not his thing: body 0. so that makes him pretty quick and healthy: reflex and breath +1 each.”
the stat part was clearly not ariel’s favorite, since she said, “hurry and get to your bonds!”
“sure, that’s a good next step. i’ve watched blank secretly for some time. they may not know about it. let’s put grey-eyes there.”
“hey! are you stalking me?”
“if i am, you don’t know.”
“grr.”
“blank has tried to stop my machinations in the past. i’m going to say claire. and the last one is, blank’s (blood/flesh/knowledge/skill) is extremely useful to me in my rituals. well that’s easy. i’m circling ‘skill’ and putting sin-sing there.”
“naughty boy,” said elle.
“so,” he said, ignoring her, “matash is an extremely tall and thin human, with a wide-brimmed black hat and long white hair he wears in a braid. his goal is to bathe in the blood of the wicked crow sorcerer’s guild. his flaw is that he’s overly suspicious. he’s got a pact with a patron, who’s supposed to be a devil, master, or powerful ruler. i’ll say it’s the ghost of stevis, founder of the wicked crow sorcerers guild. that’s why he wants to bathe in their blood – they killed his master, and he and the ghost both want revenge.”
“you’re so good at this story stuff,” said sasha.
“thanks! i think that mostly just leaves my equipment. fine clothing, an implement i use in my sorcery ... let’s say an astrolabe. i’m picking the noble’s gear, and i get a pack with books that i’m supposed to list. how about ... manual of the empty soul ... poems by the imprisoned ... three volumes of an encyclopedia of blood ... and the journal of kun vam the illiterate. then a pouch full of sorcery materials and some knives, and i think i’m set. you ready for the book, claire?”
“mmm,” i said, “yes, but i think to read the adventure in the back, not to make my character yet. i’m going to see how you guys do and then figure out a good character to fit in with the group.”
“great,” said elle, dusting her hands off and getting up from the table. “if the rest of us are done with the gaming stuff for now, who wants to hop in bed with me?”
“i don’t want to hop,” aers said, “but i’ll do something else!”
and that wrapped up the character generation! i settled in with the rulebook to read up on the scenario, and the rest of the gang went in the bedroom and – who am i fooling, of course i put the book down and followed them.
maybe i’ll write something about that a little later, on the other blog!
