work and play

work sucks!

i do not say this from personal experience, seeing as how i have never held a job in my life, but i keep hearing that it's the case.

which means you probably know somebody who goes to work and thinks it sucks.

and if you know somebody who goes to work and thinks it sucks, why not try and make it suck a little less?

text them!

facebook them!

email them!

let them know you're thinking about them, and that you don't want their day to suck quite so much.

(only don't go overboard, or maybe you might get them fired for spending too much time texting and emailing and facebooking you back.)

let me tell you, there are very few people who would have a problem with getting an occasional, "hi! i love you!" text.

try it!

unless everybody you know is independently wealthy and doesn't have to work. in that case, i don't know what to tell you.

ta-ta,

claire

when

when you smile at me

i feel

shielded
weightless
surrounded by clouds

i am

heated
livened
a coal in a fire

i know

comfort
contentment
the guidance of destiny

when i smile at you

it is because

i know

i am
where i belong

needed

he forgets, sometimes. probably because guys are dumb that way.

he forgets that what he needs is here, has been here all along. he wanders through the world wishing, worried, woeful, wintered with the white snow of discontent. (hah, did you get that shakespeare thing there? "snow is the winterer of our discontent?" sorry to interrupt and point that out. i get kinda self-conscious when the whole poetry vibe gets going in me, and i guess i just have to cut in with a joke or people will think i'm all full of myself. now where the hell was i?)

remembering. he does it sooner or later. he looks around at all those empty "w" words he's surrounded himself with, and he stops and it comes back to him.

and then he comes back to me, my lost little lamb (you know, sheepish?) ... and he finds everything that he needs.

in my arms.

goodnight, peeps. my man needs me.

love,
claire

wanting

desire ...

yergh!

buddha was always going on about it being the root of all suffering, so i am told, and i am not sure i buy into that, as it is also the root of some pretty good ... rooting, you know. and when it hits you in those waves of heat, that mind-blowing swirl of energy in your chest ... well, that's really hard for me to consider a bad thing, even when there's no way for anything to happen that will wash away the ache.

i have been short on time and opportunity for a lot of my favorite activities lately (or "activities" if you want me to say it like i'm implying something dirty, which I am). so there's this wicked hunger swirling around in my tummy and under my ribs, making my arms feel like they're full of high-voltage electrical wires. and it jumps up and falls back, and jumps up and falls back, and sometimes the jump makes it seem unbearable and sometimes the fall back makes me feel empty and helpless, but in the middle there's this hovering state of energized, unfulfilled appetite.

when it's right, appetite is a promise, not a tease. it says, "yeah, you're hungry now, but that's just going to make it ten thousand times better when dinner is served." as long as you know that your want will sooner or later be satisfied, desire is the foreplay of life.

oh, how i want, right now.

wishes,
claire

habits

you've got to make good ones and kick the bad ones!

well, maybe. i'm not sure i even have any bad habits. i don't pick my nose. i don't leave the lights on. i don't eat just because i'm unhappy. in fact, i never over-eat ... i always eat just ... the right ... amount. i don't masturbate in public, and when i'm in private, i don't ever make myself guilty about what comes naturally.

so i'm not thinking up with any bad habits to kick, but there's for sure some good ones i need to be more habitual about. like blogging.

if anyone can point out to me any bad habits i have, go ahead. only don't make a habit of doing it. that's not such a good habit to have.

toodles and poodles,

claire

and then before you know it, a year went by ...

people! take the time to do the things you love doing!

i can't believe how long it's been since i got online and blogged, even though i totally know how much i love it and how much it makes me feel happy and connected and all warm-and-fuzzy inside.

most of the time, msg is the only one listening to me, and while i am all-but-completely fulfilled to have his adoring ears and gigantic, thinky-think brain appreciating what i've got to say, i am an expressive girl, and there's something special about being able to express myself to others.

for a while, i was kinda getting my expressionistic rocks off with some forum posting, but it sorta got old, because the people i liked bestest on the forum kept disappearing and the new folks just didn't quite have the same zing to them. more importantly, there was a big split a couple years ago in the main forum i liked, and a big chunk of the folks went off and made their own forum, which cut down the traffic at both sites and also made me feel a little like a beautiful, sweet well had been poisoned. the original forum was this lovely, wonderful, welcoming place, so it was easy to go there and forget for a while that people can be kinda jerky. but all the "rarrh!" and "grrr!" back and forth with the splinter forum made it pretty clear that people are people wherever they are, even on forums about dolls. plus, besides all that, you get the best responses on those forums from photo-shoots, and we've just had diddly-squat opportunities for photo-shoots lately.

what the hell am i going on and on about? i don't know. the important thing is, i'm going on and on. i have things to say, and i like saying them!

who is listening? i don't care! because i'm doing something i love.

right now, i am happier than when i started typing.

are you less happy than you'd like to be? well then, go and do something off the list of things you know bring you joy.

it works! trust me!

oodles of affection,

claire