Wednesday, September 30, 2009

sigh ... wait ... no sighing!

it's a big world full of ugly things, and one of the ugliest is the way you can sometimes feel really lonely even though someone you care about and who cares about you is, like, right there.

sorry to be in such a mopey-butt kinda mood, but there it is. i did not exactly have huge ambitions when i started this blog. i did not expect to change the world -- and that was okay, on account of i had already changed one person's world, in a big way. a way he pretty regularly reminds me that he's super grateful about.

but even though i did not expect to change the world, i did expect to come here more often, and have more fun, and take more pictures and share them and all that.

but the world gets in the way.

and when you can't get the things done that you want to get done for yourself, it makes you start feeling kinda small. and pretty soon 'small' turns into 'lonely.'

it's sneaky about doing it, and i don't know how it manages the trick, but it does.

and then you're lonely, even though you've got this great person right beside you, or maybe lots of great people around you, and you feel stupid about it and you know you should ask for help, only if you do you wonder if they'll get insecure or have their feelings hurt by the fact that you're lonely when they're right there, plus you know that they're already stressed about all their own stuff they've got going on, and ... ugh.

so if anyone out there is feeling lonely, here's a hug. because you deserve it, and you're not small, and you need to stop thinking that way.

i'm making an effort to, right now.