i am thinking

about writing a romance novel. this probably reflects a very unkind lack of respect for romance novelists, since i've only written a few things and they've all been short. probably there's a lot to writing a whole romance novel, and i'm fooling myself that i have the stick-to-itiveness. msg has written novels out the wazzoo, and he tells me all it takes is deciding to sit down and write at least a little every single day. but then he also says things like, of course, nobody's first novel is all that good, and i'm like, whoa, you want me to write a little every single day and then in the end it won't even be any good? and then he's like, no, you said you wanted to do it, and i'm just telling you what to expect. parts of it will be good, he says, and i'll love it because i love you, but you've got to be realistic.

and i'm like, dude, did you hear me when i said i was thinking about writing a romance novel? when did romance novels and "realistic" ever go together?

anyway, i'm thinking about doing it.

why romance? honestly, i don't read the stuff, on account of i have all the romance in my real life that i need.

but ... a whole lotta the things i write are romantic, right? and when i look at the stuff i'm really proud of, that i really think works, it's almost always the romantic bits. (okay, some of the sexy bits too, but i hear lots of these romance books have sexy bits, so that works out, i think.)

so i'm thinking about it. i may not even start it. i probably won't finish it. it will probably be a disaster if i do finish it.

but it will give me and msg another something to talk about (not that there's any problem around our house if you run out of conversation material ... alternative activities always await), and more importantly, it will let me get a better feeling for something he does that's really important to him.

we'll see ...

decisions

okay, so my ridiculous boyfriend was slouching around being all gloomy-like, and i had to figure out whether to give him a stern talking-to or go with mushy-gushy and supportive. Now, a lot of girls would probably be kinda aggravated if their smart, talented, super-sexy and fully employed boyfriend was moping and sighing like that, especially considering the fact that he has a smokin'-hot girlfriend besides. so they would probably go with option a and tell him how ridiculous he was being. but i am just not wired that way. if i see him hurting, i can't get mad about it, and the only reason i would be all "shape up, you," and "get over it" would be if i thought that would be more effective than making with the mushy-gushy. and even then i'd have a hard time doing it.

so i just went to him and settled in beside him and put one hand on his back and the other one on his shoulder and said quietly into his ear that i was there for him and that i'll always be there for him. and this kind of quiver ran through him and he closed his eyes and his body relaxed and he put his forehead against mine and he said how lucky he was to have such an awesome girlfriend. and i told him he just needed to remember it. he just needed to choose to think about me instead of thinking about the things that bother him.

we don't get to decide everything in our lives, but we get to decide how important love is to us, and how much of our time we're going to spend thinking about and doing for the people we love.

i have decided that the right answer for me is "a lot."

coauthors

My woman hangs locked in a box in my closet
but this is no prison - i'd pass on versailles
She waits there for just a few touches each week
i'm blessed, not deprived - that touch is my why

I worry, sometimes
because that's just you
How much more she deserves
okay ... that one is true!

When we are together
we are always together
When we are apart
no, two parts of one heart
She answers my want
wanton answers, i flaunt!

My woman hangs locked in a box in my closet
the key that is you is the key to me
She waits there for just a few touches each week
those few linger, linger, the finger of glee

And I wait to get back to her, hungry and pure,
I wait to entwine with her, certain and sure
and you, sir, have me and i have no need unmet
we are never a 'no,' only sometimes 'not yet.'

judicious nudity

so i got caught streaking the other day and they hauled me in. here is my mug shot.

having never broken the law before, i was pretty freaked out that they might throw the book at me. turns out, though, that for something as minor as streaking they usually give you community service instead of tossing you in the slammer.

and in my case, the judge said streaking was a form of community service.

so i got off with time served.

there are several more dirtier shots in which the officer did not place the plaque quite so strategically. i may put some of them up on the other blog once msg does some photoshopping on them. (the names have to be changed... to protect the innocent, you know. we're all about that around here.)

so kids, learn your lesson! don't streak!

agreement

when i am in his arms,
when we are in our bed,
my man and i intensify
till kissed becomes as wed.

when space holds us apart,
when missing becomes keen,
my man and i indulge a lie
that dreamed is good as seen.

when all is said and done,
when words and thoughts are free,
my man and i will verify:
the best pronoun is 'we.'

holding hands

it's the simple things, right?

a touch, a hug, a smooch, a leg rubbing lightly against yours while you're both watching a movie.

that's how you know.

a look, a smile, a laugh ...

holding hands, i think, is the perfect metaphor for a relationship. you aren't stuck together, tied together, or all clingy. you're connected by that touch because you and your lover want each other to know some things: i'm happy to give up a free hand for you. i want to feel our one-ness in everything we do together. if you stumble, i'm here, you won't fall. but i'm not holding on so tight it'll restrain you from anything. you can pull away anytime, if that's what you want. but it's not what i want.

holding hands is the best.