Wednesday, September 30, 2009

sigh ... wait ... no sighing!

it's a big world full of ugly things, and one of the ugliest is the way you can sometimes feel really lonely even though someone you care about and who cares about you is, like, right there.

sorry to be in such a mopey-butt kinda mood, but there it is. i did not exactly have huge ambitions when i started this blog. i did not expect to change the world -- and that was okay, on account of i had already changed one person's world, in a big way. a way he pretty regularly reminds me that he's super grateful about.

but even though i did not expect to change the world, i did expect to come here more often, and have more fun, and take more pictures and share them and all that.

but the world gets in the way.

and when you can't get the things done that you want to get done for yourself, it makes you start feeling kinda small. and pretty soon 'small' turns into 'lonely.'

it's sneaky about doing it, and i don't know how it manages the trick, but it does.

and then you're lonely, even though you've got this great person right beside you, or maybe lots of great people around you, and you feel stupid about it and you know you should ask for help, only if you do you wonder if they'll get insecure or have their feelings hurt by the fact that you're lonely when they're right there, plus you know that they're already stressed about all their own stuff they've got going on, and ... ugh.

so if anyone out there is feeling lonely, here's a hug. because you deserve it, and you're not small, and you need to stop thinking that way.

i'm making an effort to, right now.



Anonymous said...

Hi Claire,

I can understand that feeling all to well! Really...I can be lonely in a crowded room with everyone calling my name. I really think that can happen to any of us.

Big hugs to you sweetie. I'm glad you shared this...sometimes it is nice to know others have similar feelings and can understand you a little...It's nice to know, you know, how I feel sometimes..make sense?

I'd love to see more pics but they are not as nice as your words. I enjoy reading what you write. So if you just write once in awhile know you have a few friends reading it that really enjoy it.

Smile ;-)

Anonymous said...

PS: you should come talk to us on twitter sometime..if ya get the time.

Zoe and Bridget said...

Hi Claire,

You poor thing. I know exactly how you feel. It is hard to admit to being lonely sometimes, especially when surrounded by great people. But the truth is loneliness isn't just about having people around. It can strike at any time and make anyone feel about two inches tall. It's actually something Mandie deals with on a fairly frequent basis. We help her not get consumed by it, but we know it's there and it's a real bitch. So we definitely feel for you and hope you start feeling better soon. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help!

--Zoe and Bridget

Claire said...

you guys are super swell. i really appreciate the kind words and good vibes.

just writing this post out made me feel kinda better, but there's really nothing that beats having someone thoughtful take the time to write such thoughtful things!

so i'm feeling better and i'm hoping i can start finding a little more time to hang out in the world-o-blogs. (i dunno if i can promise anything about the world-o-twitter, though, ardo. so far, i'm entirely twitter-challenged. i'm sure it's not hard, but i think i need to get my blog feet under me first.)

anyhow, i thank you both for saying such terrific things, and hopefully we can all keep ourselves out of that weird loneliness pit from now on.



Anonymous said...

Hiya Claire,

Twitter is not to hard..but some people don't like it..others like me..addicted to it! LOL

I understand.

Glad you feel a little better.

Big hugs.