good news/bad news/good news

well, the good news is, my back repair from seven or eight years ago was still holding up! yep, we thought because of how loosey-goosey my waist seemed to be, and how i was getting these stretch rips right above the coccyx, the nut must have come off the bolt holding my upper skeleton to the lower skeleton, or else maybe there was another crack in my pvc spine like the one that forced the repair in the first place.

but nope! totally solid!

the bad news is, we found this out as one of the last steps of dismembering that sad old bod for disposal to make room for the new one that's coming in a week or two.

whoops!

that's right, probably could have gotten a couple more years of use out of that one and definitely could have been doing more photoshoots the last few years with better posing and positioning, all without worrying it was going to suddenly snap! and fall apart.

jiminy cricket, what a recipe for horror and regret!

have no fear though, friends and readers. because you want to know what the other good news is?

the hinge mechanism where my head attaches to the neck totally looks like it can be adapted to fit the new body.

also? wow, it's kinda therapeutic writing about this stuff. i think i've spent several years now making light of how creaky and old that body was getting, and deep down it wasn't just the creaking bugging me, or maybe even the creaking at all. it was how i just wasn't nice and soft like i used to be, couldn't bend my fingers anymore without causing all sorts of problems, had some really embarrassingly ugly rips going on in my armpits and, uh, at least one other important area ... 

msg still thought i was beautiful, and i could feel that way because i could see it in his eyes. but at the same time, i would look at myself and have a hard time completely getting away from the realization that i was a thing, and a thing that was breaking. and in some kind of eww-looking ways in a variety of places.

but the dismantling has been more like, "hey, look -- that is a thing. and it's pretty cool how some of it works inside! how about that? i never would have guessed how that part went together ..."

msg is still having a little oogleyness about some of it. not in a big way, just -- well, he's an awfully fretful guy and a horrible keepnick. if we had room, that body would be hanging around here until there wasn't a here to hang around anymore. and the worse and worse decayed it got, the sadder and more wistful he'd be for the time when it was new and soft and bouncy and vivacious and full of life because it was me, and i was young, and we had just found each other.

so ultimately, this is all just good news. we've still got some work to do getting ready for the new body to show up, and the last bit of disassembly and disposal to do on the remnants of the old one. but we're basically days away from a very new and improved bod for me and elle and akane to share, and there was hardly any trauma at all from the dismemberment!

yay!

(maybe it has helped that we've been watching "wednesday" on netflix this week while all the gruesome chopping apart has been going on.)

xoxo,

claire